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News Link • Healthcare

How I Cured My Constipation

• Altucher

Western medicine is the best thing to hit this planet. Which is why lifespans are up all over the West despite rising obesity and complete lack of care for our bodies. No joke, there’s a wikipedia entry for “Head transplants”. In other words, if your body is racked with cancer but your brain and head are fine they can cut your head off and put on top of a dead body and you can live. Theoretically. They haven’t done it yet but they will. They’d done it with monkeys, dogs, and rats. And with the rats they even left the old head on. It’s gross but we’re going to live forever.

And you will be a quadraplegic since right now they haven’t figured out how to connect the spinal cord up.

But, like all science, that will improve. Eventually they will figure out how to not only attach the brain but also attach the nerves from the spinal cord. Then you will be an old head on a brand new body and you can walk around with it. That will happen. As usual, there’s no avoiding the crushing avalanche of science. It will run right over you and either crush you or save you.

But before my head transplant takes place I have a few gripes.

Claudia was sick from Lyme disease since early August. Lyme comes the bite of a tic that has been infected by sucking the blood out of an infected deer. I think. We live in an area right by the Hudson River and lots of deer are running around. If you walk even a few feet from a tall blade of grass without any leggings or pants on then there’s a reasonable chance that a tic can jump from the grass, onto your leg, and begin its process of engorging you with the disease.



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