You Know You Are A Conspiracy Theorist If...

You are capable of critical thinking. You distrust mainstream media. You like nature. You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China. You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fall speed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane. You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda. You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search. You have read a book in the past year. You think you have the right to protest. You think the War on Terror is a scam. You think the War on Drugs is a scam. You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are. You think the Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country. You think believing in The Constitution does not constitute a terrorist act. You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are. You question whether the government loves you. You think the right to bear arms is not for hunting, rather so citizens can fight back should the government become a bunch of tyrannical thugs....