Even the people who want one probably prefer to call it something else. But, in this case, I can't come up with a better alternative. Except for maybe "Fannie State," since, as you will see, you have just lost a little control over what comes out of yours and at what rate it does so.  

What is going on is vaguely reminiscent of 2006 when Sudafed came off the counters so that it could not be used to cook meth (1). So now you have to show ID and get listed in a DEA database, all to get Sudafed for a runny nose. There is a limit of how much you can buy per month. Or you can try the monumentally useless, but non-abusable substitute Sudafed PE.  

New stinky Sudafed PE can be bought over the counter, but it's just about useless. Old Sudafed, which works well is now a bit more difficult to obtain.