New York's mayor, stowaway Bill de Blasio, may have been shoved overboard.
Former Colorado Gov. Hickenlooper walked the plank clutching the lifebuoy of a sure-thing senate seat.
Washington State Gov. Jay Inslee went mad drinking seawater and dove in after hallucinating a school of beckoning mermaids.
Months from now, the accursed vessel may be discovered mysteriously deserted, prompting tales of mutiny and cannibalism, like the brigantine Mary Celeste of legend.
That's how lost and far out the Party looks more than a year from the general election. Back on dry land, the resourceful Golden Golem of Greatness made another flanking maneuver around the Resistance's left, disarming the so-called Flores Rule from 1994 that underlay the racket of using children to evade the immigration laws. Now the kids can remain with their parents awaiting deportation, which is the natural consequence of sneaking across the border illegally. The Resistance cannot grok the reality that federal law actually applies in cases of border-jumping. Shrieks of "racism" rise from coastal yoga studios and cappuccino bars. Uncle Sam is racist through and through, from his run-down boot-heels to his chin-whiskers.