Pointed Kitchen Knives Should Be Illegal, Says Church of England

The Church of England has called for a ban on pointed kitchen knives to stop stabbings, saying that no one needs a pointed knife in modern times.

The call to round off the pointy ends of knives came from senior bishops and was backed by police, psychiatrists, doctors, and a judge, according to The Telegraph, with an open letter to the government calling for the sale of potentially dangerous kitchen utensils to be banned.

"Historically we needed a point on the end of our knife to pick up food because forks weren't invented. Now we only need the point to open packets when we can't be bothered to find the scissors," lead signatory the Right Reverend James Langstaff, the Bishop of Rochester, wrote.

The letter continued that it was time to say "no bloody point" and goodbye to the traditional kitchen knife, which campaigners say should go the way of the handgun, paracetamol, plastic bags, and smoking in public by being heavily regulated.