The piece, titled 'Sex and Covid: What are the rules in lockdown?', details "new guidance on having sex" in the aftermath of Prime Minister Boris Johnson declaring a new national lockdown set to last for months.
The article says that "meeting up for sex is off the cards" under the new rules but goes on to offer recommendations on how couples can practice COVID-safe sex.
"Avoid kissing, wear a face covering and choose positions that aren't face-to-face during sex," states the piece, echoing advice given by the Terrence Higgins Trust.
"Your best sexual partner during the Covid-19 pandemic is yourself," the article adds, encouraging people to engage in "masturbation, sex toys or having phone or online sex," rather than the real thing.
As we highlighted earlier, police have demanded powers to force entry into people's homes if they suspect someone of engaging in behavior contrary to lockdown rules.
All of these rules, which are being brought in under a Conservative government, have been vehemently supported by the left who in decades gone by would have normally been aghast at the state literally dictating who you're allowed to have sex with.