A satellite is expected to crash into earth sometime Friday, but according to NASA’s calculations you may already be dead.
Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert mocked the U.S. space agency
Thursday for their extremely vague predictions about where and when the
satellite will hit.
“This death machine in question is NASA’s 20-year-old Upper
Atmosphere Research Satellite or UARS,” Colbert explained. “As in, UARS
all going to die.”
“I don’t want you to panic because the boys at NASA have pinpointed
the precise time the impact will occur… tomorrow afternoon, give or take
14 hours. Which means that you either have until Saturday morning or
you were vaporized two hours ago.”
NASA has also said that the spacecraft could strike almost anyone on the planet.
“If you are one of the six billion thrill seekers in the impact zone,
you will want to flee to the safety of Antarctica or the Norwegian
island of Svalbard,” the comedy central host joked. “But folks, don’t
worry because you will have plenty of time to get there because in
addition to providing a 28-hour impact window across a 118-million
square mile danger zone, NASA is providing a 20-minute warning before
the satellite strikes.”
Watch this video from Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, broadcast Sept. 22, 2011.
Opinion • More about 
