By Mencken’s Ghost
Jan. 23, 2012
You’ve no doubt seen the standing
ovations for Newt Gingrich, the cheering and swooning for
Barack Obama, and the similar cooing for other venal, lying,
hypocritical, platitudinous, populist, egotistical,
power-hungry, control-hungry, war-mongering politicians.
Are humans nuts, or what?
Evolutionary psychologists have
the answer. They
say that in spite of our capacity for rational thinking, we
are not far removed from primates in our emotions,
behaviors, and tribalism.
Hold on a second, please.
Sorry, but I had to pick a flea
out of my hair.
Anyway, that answer would explain
why we want a silver-backed politician with a big ego, small
scruples, and a lot of claptrap to lead us, protect us, and,
most importantly, to take stuff on our behalf from competing
political tribes.
Stealing, of course, is what
politics is mostly about, although it’s masked with
highfalutin blabber about the economy, deficits, taxes,
small government, social justice, and war and peace.
There are thousands of ways that
stealing is done through politics and the so-called rule of
law. You can skip
the following examples if you have a weak stomach or not
enough time.
Iowa corn farmers steal from
consumers in the form of higher grocery prices due to farm
subsidies. New Hampshire dairy farmers steal from
consumers in the form of higher milk prices due to the
government’s floor on dairy prices. Republican presidential candidates in the Iowa and New Hampshire
primaries wink and smile at the foregoing stealing in
order to get elected. Politically-connected unions steal jobs and higher
wages from politically-unconnected, nonunion workers. Then they convince a
gullible media that unions raise everyone’s wages. Politically-powerful teacher unions, in the biggest
scam of all, steal from gullible soccer moms for the
supposed benefit of little Megan. Big banks steal from taxpayers through bailouts and
then protect their cartel by giving suitcases of cash to
politicians, with most of it going to Obama, who then
pretends to dislike bankers. The Federal Reserve steals from everyone by
debasing the dollar.Crony-phony capitalists steal from working stiffs
by destroying the free market. The elderly steal from future generations for their
entitlements while falling for the AARP horse manure that
they’re only receiving what they put into Social Security
and Medicare.The obese steal from the fit to pay their higher
medical bills under socialized medicine and then blame
their obesity on their genes or the absence of fresh
produce in their ‘hood. Welfare recipients who can’t control their loins
and have broods of fatherless children steal from those
who can control their loins. At the same time, social conservatives
rail against welfare queens while taking their own forms
of welfare that aren’t called welfare.Spendthrifts, moochers, slackers and single parents
steal through progressive taxation from those who have
more money--primarily those who are frugal, industrious
and married. Then
the former group, with the help of the intelligentsia,
demonizes the latter group instead of themselves for being
greedy and not caring about the common good.
This and all the other plundering
is codified in laws and regulations too numerous for John Q.
Citizen to read over a lifetime but are sources of lucrative
livelihoods for millions of lawyers, accountants, lobbyists,
and public- and private-sector bureaucrats, many of whom are
Republicans, including the sleazebag Gingrich, who used
Fannie Mae for patronage while in office and for payola when
out of office.
Not having the ability to reason,
primates aren’t as sophisticated as humans in their stealing
but are more honest. When
a chimpanzee steals a banana from his fellow chimpanzee, he
doesn’t rationalize his theft by lying to himself about
social justice, fairness, the common good, the 1% vs. the
99%, or the rule of law.
Feigning ignorance and innocence,
American humans usually ask at this point what can be done
to stop this cause of our decline, knowing full well that
the answer is to vote to end all theft, especially their own
stealing, to stop voting for silver-backed scoundrels, and
to have the rectitude to help the deserving poor voluntarily
out of their own pockets instead of their neighbor’s.
In closing, this monkey thinks
that evolutionary psychologists owe an apology to
primates for comparing them to
humans.
_________________
Mencken’s Ghost is the nom de
plume of an Arizona
writer who can be reached
at ghost@menckensghost.com.
