President
Says Private Sector Is Doing Fine
In the
midst of a sluggish economy and stubbornly high unemployment,
President Barack Obama insists that while the private sector is doing
fine, the public sector is still hurting.
“Look,
most privately-owned businesses are making a profit,” Obama argued.
“The same can't be said for publicly-owned operations. For example,
all across the country publicly-owned transit systems and stadiums
are hemorrhaging red ink. Then there's the publicly-aided businesses
like Solyndra and EnerDell that have had to file for bankruptcy
despite our efforts to subsidize them. The contrast couldn't be more
stark.”
The
President blamed the divergent fates of the private and public
sectors on “selfish Americans and their political enablers in the
GOP. I mean, profits are a surplus over-and-above what is needed to
keep a business going. Instead of sharing this surplus with an
obviously struggling public sector, though, the GOP is siding with
greedy owners and refuses to cooperate with us to boost taxes and
spread this wealth around more equitably.”
As an
illustration of the GOP's lack of cooperation, the President cited
its tepid response to his proposal to give every American $3,000 of
government money so they can go buy “thingamajigs.” “Right now
people are hoarding their money,” Obama said. “They're afraid
they'll lose their jobs and their homes if they don't conserve their
cash. This caution is killing us. But if we tax away surplus profits
and put $3,000 in the pockets of consumers they can go on a spending
binge that will rescue the economy.”
President
Obama's contention that the public sector has had it harder during
the recession doesn't seem to be borne out by the data. While the
number of persons employed in both the public and private sectors is
currently lower than it was prior to the onset of the recession, the
decline in the private sector has been steeper. In fact, there are
now fewer persons employed in the private sector than there were in
2001. Public sector employment is currently 5% higher than it was in
2001.
In
related news, Cory Booker, the Democratic Mayor of Newark, NJ who
expressed his discomfort with attacks on the right of businesses to
pursue profits was declared “dead to us” by a ranking Obama
Administration official. “He's out-of-step with the President's
thinking,” the official said. “And his refusal to recant is only
making it worse. Booker's ambition to rise within the ranks of the
Democratic Party will never be fulfilled as long as Barack has any
say. He should consider himself lucky if something really bad doesn't
happen to him.”
Reid
Promises New Senate Rules If Dems Win in November
Senate
Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) says he will be introducing new
rules for how the Senate conducts business if Democrats control both
Houses and the Presidency after the November elections. Reid's target
is the cloture vote required to cut off debate. Under current rules
it takes only 41 senators to block cloture.
“Right
now it's kind of a moot point because even if we could silence GOP
obstructionists in the Senate whatever we pass can still be thwarted
by the GOP-controlled House,” Reid pointed out. “But if Democrats
controlled both Houses and the Presidency eliminating a senate
minority's ability to impede legislation would be a much more
important tool for pressing ahead with a progressive agenda.”
Reid
acknowledged that he would oppose the reforms he has in mind from
being made if Republicans were to regain a majority in the Senate in
the upcoming elections. “Republicans are anti-progressive,” Reid
argued. “Their policies are bad for America. We will use every tool
in our kit, including the filibuster, to prevent them from enacting
legislation we deem harmful to this nation's well-being.”
Veep
Urges End to Traditional Farming
Vice-President
Joe Biden told the graduating seniors of Cypress Bay High School
(Fla.) that “it's long past the time when Americans should be
shifting away from traditional farming as a means of supplying food.”
“Let's
face it, farming is unnatural,” Biden pointed out. “Using sharp
tools to cut into the earth, planting seeds in neat rows for
efficient reaping (also done with sharp tools, I might add), piping
in water from far away—these are all artificial methods that rape
the land.”
Biden
argued that “in a more primitive era such methods may have been
unavoidable. But do we really need them today? Why can't everyone
just get their food from the supermarket? Jill and I have been doing
that for as long as I can remember. Most of the stuff comes in boxes
and cans. It's all very clean. You don't have to poke tools into the
soil stirring up dust and polluting the air. If we can only convince
more people to follow our example the environmental degradation being
caused by farmers could be greatly reduced.”
The
Vice-President also hailed the doubling of the amount the government
has spent on food stamps since 2008 as “further proof that there
are other ways to feed our population without destroying the land.”
In support
of Biden's vision, the Environmental Protection Agency is deploying
aerial drones to fly over agricultural areas “to gather evidence on
those raping the land with these primitive farming techniques.” EPA
Administrator Lisa Jackson declined to specify whether this evidence
would be used to support prosecution of violators or whether the
President would use it to select targets for drone-launched missile
strikes. “I believe the President will choose the most appropriate
enforcement mechanism on a case-by-case basis,” Jackson said.
First
Lady Denies Photo ID Hypocrisy
The Obama
Administration may be going all-out to prevent states from requiring
photo IDs from those voting, but Michelle Obama is fine with imposing
a photo ID requirement on those attending her book signings. Those
wishing to attend book-signing events featuring the First Lady must
buy her book—American Grown: The Story of the White House
Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America—and present a valid
photo ID.
“There's
no hypocrisy,” Press Secretary Jay Carney maintained. “Comparing
voting and visiting with the First Lady is like comparing apples and
oranges. Voting is a right that may not be infringed. Meeting the
First Lady is a privilege that can be withheld from anyone for any
reason.”
Carney
characterized requiring photo IDs for voting as “clearly
unwarranted. Voting is a basic human right. No human should be barred
from it based on trivial concerns over identity or place of
residence. The only thing a poll worker should be asked to ascertain
is whether he is giving a ballot to a human being. This standard is
simple and straightforward. Anyone can make it and it assures that
everyone's human right to vote is preserved.”
Attorney
General Explains “Fast & Furious” Memos
Attorney
General Eric Holder rejected contentions that internal Department of
Justice memos in which the phrase “Fast and Furious” appears mean
that the Mexican gun-running scandal was known to Department of
Justice (DOJ) higher-ups at an early date. The phrase, Holder
insisted referred to the movie series.
“Everyone
at the DOJ is a big fan of the 'Fast and Furious' movies,” Holder
said in a House Judiciary Committee hearing this past week. “The
fast cars, the sexy babes, the wonton violence—are hypnotic in
their effects on me and my staff. Vin Diesel's screen presence is
just awesome. So, it's only natural that a good deal of the agency's
internal correspondence would include mentions of these films.”
Representative
Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) did not find Holder's contention believable
or reassuring. “Holder and his crew are 'big fans' of these
movies?” Chaffetz disdainfully asked. “How likely is that?
Besides, even if it is true, how do they justify spending time on
their shared Vin Diesel love-fest while hundreds of people are being
murdered with guns they helped Mexican gangsters obtain? Either way,
it's a new low for the Administration.”
In related
news, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) confirmed that he will not
be supporting Chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform
Committee, Darryl Issa's (R-CA) efforts to cite Holder for contempt
for stonewalling on the “Fast and Furious” memos. “Holder's
explanation sheds a whole new light on this controversy,” Boehner
said. “Those movies are way cool. I can see why they'd be a hot
topic in the DOJ.”
France
Cuts Retirement Age
Newly
elected Socialist President Francois Hollande fulfilled a campaign
promise by lowering the age for retiring with full benefits from 62
to 60. In the United States full Social Security benefits don't kick
in until age 65, later for those born after 1940.
Hollande
explained that “if people have to wait until they're 62 the money
could all be gone before they draw a cent of their retirement
benefits. This way at least some of them will get something before
the system crashes.”
The French
President plans to fund these more generous benefits “by raising
taxes on businesses and individuals wherever we can. Many of our
citizens have more income and wealth than they need. Sharing that
surplus with those less fortunate is a moral obligation we intend to
enforce.”
In case
there isn't enough that can be extracted from French taxpayers,
Hollande says he is confident that Germany will ultimately shoulder
France's debts. “They have prospered the most since World War II,”
he contended. “Considering they started that war this is unfair.
Redistributing Germany's gains to their former victims would redress
this and advance social justice throughout the continent.”
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