By Mencken’s Ghost
February 5, 2014
It has been reported in the mindless
media that 110 million people watched the Super Bowl, although it’s a certainty
that far fewer people had the endurance to watch it from beginning to end.
goodness. It would have been a major public health issue if 110 million people
had watched the whole thing.
The weight of
the average adult brain is three pounds. Those
who watched the entire Super Bowl now have a brain mass of about two pounds.
It’s a safe bet that at least half of the
viewers were conservatives. In fact, conservative demagogue and blabbermouth
Sean Hannity was at the game. He claimed on his radio-rant show that he got to
the stadium four hours before the game. Since his brain was way smaller than
the average brain to begin with, it probably weighs about one pound now.
A football game lasts about three hours
and has only about 15 minutes of action. It would seem that in seven hours of
sitting in the stadium, Hannity could have found a few minutes to do some deep
thinking, as rare as that would be for him. Even with his shrunken brain, he
could have asked himself, Would a true
conservative watch the Super Bowl?
No, he would not.
The reason is
that professional football, like other professional sports, is a mix of
socialism, redistribution, crony capitalism, and plutocracy. A conservative of
principle would no more be seen in a subsidized football stadium than he would
in a Marxist coffeehouse.
stadium that Hannity sat in to watch the game. It was built with public
money. So was the first stadium on the site. So was the entire Meadowlands
complex, including a horse racing track. The
New Jersey public
authority that financed the complex and other venues is now $800 million in
debt. (For sordid details, see the City Journal article, “Jersey’s
Un-Super Bowl,” at www.city-journal.org.)
Conservatives are supposed to be against
As with many similar sports developments
across our bankrupt nation, the Meadowlands was sold to a gullible public by
means of the laughable notion that the “investment” would more than pay for
itself by attracting private development to the area. The
Meadowlands remains a fetid swamp, literally and figuratively.
My hometown of metro Phoenix will host next year’s Super Bowl. It
will be played in the suburb of Glendale,
in a stadium financed with public money. The
city is already asking the state for a bailout to cover the costs of hosting
the game. No doubt, most of the local leading conservative politicians and
talk-radio personalities will be at the game and not be conflicted at all about
One would need intelligence,
introspection and principles to be conflicted.
It is understandable that the vast
majority of conservatives send their kids to public schools and participate in
Social Security and Medicare. After all, they have little choice in the
matter, can’t afford not to participate, and understand the futility of
seriously reforming these systems. But it is easy to not watch a socialized
Super Bowl. Not watching requires no money and no political organization. It
just requires having the principles, courage and conviction to break from the conservative
herd. It requires the following answer when a friend asks if you’re going to
watch the Super Bowl: “No, I’m not going to watch it because I’m against
Imagine Sean Hannity saying this. Not only would he send a powerful message about conservatism, but he wouldn’t lose brain mass that he can ill-afford to lose.
Mencken’s Ghost is a libertarian, which means that what little brain mass he has is up his ass, because the odds of the American masses ever embracing libertarianism are about the same as conservatives not watching the Super Bowl. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.