California "Looks Like a 3rd World Country"

Viewing the aftermath of massive looting of packages from trains at a rail yard, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) professed himself "shocked that our state is starting to look like a Third World country. We owe it to our citizens to see that this doesn't happen. They deserve a clean and law-abiding environment in which to live."

The first action Newsom took was to take off his suit jacket and shirt, put on a baseball cap and covid mask and pitch in with the clean-up effort at the rail yard. "This will show the voters that I'm more than just talking about the problem," Newsom bragged. "It shows that I'm a doer."

The Governor was less of a doer when it came to the looting, calling it "a more complicated problem. On the one hand, the official crime statistics have taken an encouraging turn since voters decriminalized robberies of under $1,000. Our 'no bail' release of arrestees de-stigmatizes the life style choices of those who must steal in order to survive. Our early release of incarcerated felons gives these victims an opportunity to get a fresh start. The distressing thing is that too many of them revert back to old habits. I am at a loss on what to do next."

Newsom rejected Republican criticism that "his policies on crime present no significant deterrent," and vowed "to resist pressure to go back to the old ways of relying on harsh punishment as the main method for discouraging the commission of offenses or the notion that putting criminals behind bars is a humane answer."

State Senator Scott Wilk (R-dist 21) charged that "it is the Democrats' 'soft-on-crime' thinking that has unleashed the latest surge in offenses against persons and property that the Governor now laments has turned California into a Third World country. Democrats have gone overboard with their concern for those who prey upon the innocent. How humane is it to allow people to be assaulted or robbed? If those who commit these violations faced serious consequences some of them might stop—making our state a safer place for everyone else."

DHS Secretary Declares US "Sanctuary Country"

Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas told the annual U.S. Conference of Mayors in Washington, D.C. that "it is the President's policy that justice and equity for illegal aliens living in America requires that we, in effect, make the entire country a 'sanctuary' where they can be free from fear that they will be arrested or deported. This requires that we shield them from laws that declare their actions crimes and their presence here unwarranted."

"In the first year of the Biden Administration, I am proud to report that this sanctuary approach has successfully allowed immigrants accused and convicted of child sex crimes, armed robbery, drunk driving, burglary, cocaine trafficking, grand theft auto, heroin trafficking, credit card fraud, money laundering, and other crimes to freely ply their trades in the United States," Mayokas boasted.

"Our message to the mayors around the country is that you are no longer out on a limb," the Secretary said. "As long as Democrats are in charge in Washington no efforts by Republicans at the state and local levels to impose cruel anti-immigration laws on these newcomers to America can succeed. As some of you may already know, the FBI raided the offices and home of Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-Tex) after he criticized the President's immigration policy. Similar raids can be carried out against anyone who commits a similar offense in any city or state now that sanctuary is the law of the land."

U-Turn on Vaccine Passports

While the idea that governments should order people to take the covid shot and implement so-called vaccine passports as a means of breaking down resistance to injecting these experimental drugs into the bodies of those who don't want them still holds sway in a lot of places, a few nations are backing away from this coercion. Just this week, Great Britain, the Czech Republic, and Israel announced changes in their covid strategy.

Inspired by a Tory Party member's suggestion that he "in the name of God please go," UK's Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that "the measures we have taken over the past two years have worked. The covid virus is fading and we can now phase out the most severe of our restrictions including the vaccine passports and mask mandates by March 24."

A sharper u-turn was implemented in the Czech Republic. In early December 2021, the government led by Prime Minister Andrej Babis ordered everyone age 60 and over as well as medical personnel, police officers, firefighters and medical students to get vaccinated by March 2022. Ten weeks ago elections were won by a five-party coalition led by new Prime Minister Petr Fiala. Public protests helped persuade the new government to rescind Babis' order. "We've agreed that vaccination won't be mandatory."

In Israel, Finance Minister Avigdor Liberman called for an end to the vaccine passport, saying "there is no medical or epidemiological logic in the Green Pass. There is, however, damage to the economy, to daily operations and a not insignificant contribution to daily panic among the public."

Meanwhile in the US, Presidential Press Secretary Jen Psaki asserted that "no such act of surrender is contemplated by the President. The people elected him to shut down the virus. The President emphatically disagrees with Gov. Polis (D-Col) who says 'the medical emergency is over because of the vaccines.' That is demonstrably untrue for two reasons. First, Dr. Fauci has assured the President that we are still in phase one of a five phase pandemic. Second, will will not be able to exit from phase five until everyone is vaccinated. Only then can we restore individual freedom in this country for those who have been dutifully obedient during the pandemic."

In related news, the FDA has extended the shelf life of the Pfizer covid vaccine. Psaki explained that "I've been told that the 'use by dates' set for various drugs and foods are a ploy to get folks to discard perfectly good products and have to buy newer versions of these same products. If all you've got is an 'expired' vial of vaccine don't worry about it. Just scrape off the moldy parts to get to the good stuff underneath. Chances are good that injecting an 'expired' vaccine won't kill you. Anyway, you'll need the booster shot for your vaccine passport to be valid."

Biden Declares First Year "Better than Anyone Expected"

President Biden faced the media in the first semi-normal press conference since he took office and declared "I have probably outperformed expectations." Despite the claim, polls show him plumbing the depths of how low public approval of a president can go.

While admitting his hopes for unifying all Americans behind him have run into trouble, the President blamed "racist and disloyal Republicans for fomenting the hatred that is dividing the country. Rather than accepting the mandate of the largest number of votes I received than any other president, they have consistently objected my plan to spend ourselves back to prosperity. They raise silly questions like 'where is the money going to come from' and 'how will we ever be able to pay back the trillions we are borrowing.' This is old fogy thinking. Modern monetary theory says we don't have to pay anything back because the government has the power to create as much new money as we want."

The President then parried concerns over supply-chain problems by pointing out that "shoppers can still get 89% of the food they need" and promising that "inflation is not a problem because I will issue an executive order to the Treasury to starting sending out more money to each household in America regardless of whether the people are here legally or not. On top of this, all the food saved by denying the unvaccinated from entering restaurants can gathered up and redistributed among the vaccinated--just like the loaves and fishes in the Bible--to help close the 11% gap between what groceries have on their shelves and what the consumers need."

In related news, a survey conducted by Politico and Morning Consult found that 37% of respondents gave Biden a grade of "F" for his performance as president. The President is said to find these results "encouraging" because "this means that 63% give me a passing grade. That's better than I did in college."

Biden's Innate Racism

Fifty Senate Republicans and two Democrats blocked President Biden's bill to federalize all elections in order to mandate changes that will make vote fraud easier—by eliminating photo ID requirements, legalizing ballot harvesting, increasing the quantity of mail-in ballots, and blocking regular purges of deceased, moved, and inactive voters from the rolls. There is no question that the "reforms" the Democrats want will increase the number of ballots that will be counted.

The Democrats' animosity to trying to ensure that only legal votes are counted contradicts polls showing that nearly 80% of black voters favor ID verification before accepting a ballot for counting. Nevertheless, Biden has likened opponents of his legislation to Jefferson Davis, Bull Connor, and George Wallace. The irony is that all these notable racists were Democrats—a fact that Biden dismissed "as just as irrelevant as the fact that more Democrats than Republicans voted against the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Neither is it important that a majority of Blacks favor voter ID. As our decades long in loco parentis role for the Black community has demonstrated, they get more if we do their thinking for them."

"For example, under my directive the FDA is giving preference to Blacks over whites when it comes to receiving treatment with our limited supply of anti-covid drugs," the President bragged. "Technically, this isn't legal. And many admirers of Dr. Martin Luther King would say that it goes against his hope that people would be judged by their character and not by the color of their skin. Noble as this aspiration is it wastes the opportunity to use power to achieve results that cannot be attained through mere good character or hard work. Our voting rights bill would ensure that the Democratic Party stays in power so it can get Blacks the payback we think they deserve. Isn't that a better deal for the Black man than blind justice?"

In related news, this week President Biden declared that "George Floyd's death had a bigger impact on America than the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King. The rioting after Dr. King died was less sustained and fruitful than the rioting sparked by Floyd's death in police custody. The Floyd riots led to significant reductions in funding of police departments around the country. It also generated a movement to place the blame for crime where it really belongs—the people who have more than they deserve. I believe if we can adopt the kind of social credit system and the monitoring of everyone, everywhere, and anytime the government will have a mechanism for redistributing wealth from the undeserving to the victims we have callously been calling criminals for so long."

Dems Favor Tyranny

A poll conducted by Rasmussen Reports and the Heartland Institute found shockingly high percentages of registered Democrats favor harsh treatment of those who don't obey government directives aimed at battling covid.

The mildest of repressive measures—house arrest of persons refusing to get vaccinated—was supported by 59% of Democrats. Confining the unvaccinated in internment camps like the ones Japanese-Americans were sent to by President Roosevelt during World War II or the ones Australia has now was supported by 45% of Democrats. Spying on and tracking the unvaccinated was supported by 47% of Democrats. Taking children away from their unvaccinated parents was supported by 29% of Democrats. Forty-eight percent of Democrats support fining or imprisoning individuals who publicly dispute the government's narrative on covid or criticize its policies.

Dr. Anthony Fauci said that "polls like this prove that average Americans want the kind of protection we been endeavoring to provide during the pandemic. Unlike in some other countries, we don't have crowds in the streets protesting our policies. We have neighbors tattling on neighbors and courageous opinion makers like Don Lemon vilifying vaccine dissenters. It is reassuring to know we are on the right track. All that remains is to subdue the pesky and shrinking minority who have yet to comply with our demands."