CNN
Pundit Declares Rubio's Presidential Ambitions “Finished”
Florida
Republican Senator Marco Rubio's pause to take a drink of water
during his rebuttal to President Obama's State-of-the-Union speech
was declared “a possible career ender” by CNN's Wolf Blitzer.
“Voters
may tolerate a lot from their prospective leaders,” Blitzer
observed. “We've learned that diddling interns is okay. A bogus
birth certificate may be worth a few snickers, but does not seem to
undermine our confidence in a man's leadership capabilities. However,
the jarring interruption of a high-profile speech by a moment of
thirst would appear to be the type of thing that raises serious
questions about fitness to serve.”
“No
President has ever interrupted a speech by pausing to take a drink of
water,” Blitzer remembered. “It's just something that isn't done.
You can go back through the film archives and not find a single
instance.”
As
for the substance of Rubio's remarks, Blitzer admitted that “I
can't honestly recall what he said. I was so thrown by the water
drinking incident that I couldn't concentrate on his words. In this
regard, I think my reaction was fairly typical. Only those hopelessly
enthralled to the GOP's right-wing agenda could've gotten past this
major gaffe to
spy something of relevance in Senator Rubio's speech.”
Obama
Urges Catholics to Appoint a “Progressive” Successor to Pope
Benedict
The
unusual resignation of Pope Benedict XVI launches the search for his
successor. While he has no formal role in this process, President
Obama has urged the Cardinals to select a “progressive.”
“The
Catholic Church has a choice to make,” Obama said. “It can
continue to promulgate out-moded ideas or it can get behind a program
for a 21st century agenda.” Among the issues mentioned
by the President for this “21st century agenda” were
birth control and gay marriage.
“Over-population
is placing an excessive burden on the planet's resources,” Obama
claimed. “To save the environment we must reduce the human
footprint. Birth control is an essential measure for achieving this
goal. Since we cannot effectively intervene in humans' sexual
activities we can at least interdict the consequences by making birth
control and abortion convenient and inexpensive. The person who is
chosen to lead the Catholic Church should get on-board with our
efforts to accomplish this.”
“Gay
marriage complements the drive to reduce human reproduction,” Obama
added. “These marriages can't produce children. By increasing the
frequency of such unions we would simultaneously be acknowledging the
right of same-sex couples to enjoy the sacraments of marriage while
diverting them from reproductive sexual intercourse. It seems to me
that a doctrinal change along these lines could also provide the
Church with a way out of some of the sex scandals that have plagued
it in recent years.”
President
Obama's remarks did receive some encouragement from the Government of
China. “We think he is on the right track,” said President Hu
Jintao. “Ideally, all religious posts ought to be cleared for
compatibility with ruling secular authorities. In China it is simple.
We appoint the Catholic bishops. Globally, some sort of international
vetting is needed"perhaps through the United Nations.”
To assist
the Church in finding a “progressive” Pope, President Obama is
reported to have forwarded a list of what he considers “acceptable
candidates.”
EEOC
Unveils New Hiring Regs
The Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission's newly updated hiring regulations
pose dilemmas for firms on the matter of hiring ex-convicts. On the
one hand, businesses are warned that refusal to hire ex-cons will
expose the firm to charges of racial discrimination. On the other
hand, businesses would still be liable for any crimes committed by
their employees.
Jacqueline
Berrien, Chairwoman of the EEOC defended the new rules as “necessary
to level the playing field. Given that African-Americans are seven
times more likely to have served time in prison, a hiring policy that
attempts to screen out felons would have a racially disparate impact.
It is the Commission's position that any hiring practice that would
tend to produce an imbalance in the racial composition of the firm's
workforce is, by itself, illegal. As the President has said on many
occasions, a company's workforce should be a microcosm of the ethnic,
racial, and sexual-orientation of all Americans.”
Berrien
said that “the easiest way for firms to avoid systematic
discrimination against former felons is to forgo a criminal
background check as a normal part of its hiring process. I mean, if
you're trying to hire a delivery driver, a carpet installer, or
security guard is it really relevant that he may have served time in
prison?”
The
Chairwoman deflected criticism that the new regulations might pose a
danger to consumers because “the consumer is still protected by
tort liability laws. Any harm done to any customers by any of a its
employees is still the responsibility of the business.”
Todd
McCracken of the National Small Business Association called the new
rules “a classic 'catch-22.' If you don't make these risky hires
the EEOC will be on your case. If you do you could be put out of
business if one of these employees seriously harms someone. The
safest course is to outsource as much as you can and hire as few
people as possible.”
Colorado
School Restricts Tutoring Assistance
A Colorado
elementary school has restricted its after-school tutoring program to
exclude whites from participating. Andre Pearson, principal of
Mission Viejo Elementary in Aurora, Colorado explained that “only
students of color are eligible for the program. Too few white
students are failing for us to justify including them in the
program.”
Pearson
said he rejected race-neutral criteria based on performance because
“that wouldn't provide the maximum leverage for equalizing outcomes
between whites and minorities. By focusing our efforts on bringing up
the performance of our minority students through tutoring while
allowing that of whites to continue to drift downward we will be
squeezing out the inequalities from both ends.”
After
receiving complaints from a few parents of white children, Pearson
agreed to allow failing white students into the program “if there
are any spots left after every minority child has been accommodated.”
Pelosi
Takes Aim at Sequester's “Cruelest Cut”
House
Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) characterized the limitations
on Congressional pay in the looming sequester as “the cruelest cut
in the entire package.”
“Considering
all the money we have appropriated for those making dubious or even
negative contributions to our society it is unconscionable that we
should be treated so shabbily,” Pelosi contended. “We are key
players in ruling this country. We ought to have salaries
commensurate with the significance of our role.”
“Corporate
executives presiding over budgets a tiny fraction of what we dispose
of in a year take down salaries and bonuses in the millions of
dollars,” she pointed out. “Equity argues for us to to paid on a
similar scale.”
Representative
Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) seconded Pelosi's take asserting that “a
boost in my pay is necessary to complete the emancipation initiated
by President Lincoln during the Civil War. I can't be truly free
until the repression suffered by my ancestors in slavery is repaid to
me in cash.”
The
Minority Leader conceded that it is unlikely that her view would
prevail because “the GOP is too busy tearing down the magnificence
of government in a calculated bid to starve it of the resources to
which it is entitled. Their portrayal of government as a burden that
must be lightened and a power that must be restrained is the exact
opposite of what the voters who reelected President Obama want.”
Pelosi
expressed optimism that “voters will tire of seeing their elected
representatives suffer under the hardships imposed by the sequester
and elect solid Democratic majorities in the 2014 balloting. Then
there will be no impediments to the President's progressive agenda to
transform America.”
Democrat
Defends Voting Multiple Times
Melowese
Richardson, a longtime Cincinnati Democratic activist admitted that
she voted more than once for President Obama this past Fall. Though
multiple votes are illegal, Richardson vociferously defended her
actions.
“Having
the right man govern our country is more important than abiding by
petty rules,” Richardson argued. “In our country's history many
have had to fight and die to secure freedom. If taking up arms on
behalf of freedom is the right thing to do, how can taking up an
extra ballot be wrong?”
Richardson
contrasted her “bloodless combat for Obama with the killing done by
George Washington in 1776. I didn't have to shoot any British troops
or Hessians to promote the cause. The way I see it, I deserve at
least as much credit as a freedom fighter as those who did have to
shoot people.”