President
Says Obamacare Decision a Victory for Freedom
President
Barack Obama hailed the US Supreme Court's narrow 5-4 decision to
uphold his signature Affordable Care Act as “a victory for
freedom.”
“By
affirming the legality of our health care plan, the Court has ensured
that every American will be free from the worry of having no
insurance,” the President said. “By compelling everyone to
purchase insurance we are freeing them to enjoy the benefits of
medical coverage and relieving them of the necessity to plan ahead
and decide for themselves whether get this insurance.”
The
President attempted to reconcile the compulsory nature of the health
care mandate with the concept of freedom. “Don't be led astray by
those who would have you believe that their notions of freedom are a
match for what every American needs,” Obama warned. “Just think
back to the times when your parents made you eat your peas. In your
kid's mind you probably saw this as an imposition on your freedom.
But your parents were only trying to give you the gift of good
health"freeing you from the consequences of a bad diet.”
“We're
doing the same kind of thing with our health care plan,” he
continued. “By taking the issue of whether to buy insurance off
your list of things to do we are freeing you from having to spend
time figuring out what to do. That time can now be used in whatever
way you want. On top of this, you'll be healthier. And can there be
any question that a healthier person is freer than a sick person?”
Press
Secretary Says Contention that Obamacare Is Tax “Idiotic”
Press
Secretary Jay Carney sought to get out ahead of the GOP's campaign
rhetoric alleging that Obamacare is a huge tax imposed on the middle
class.
“There's
no way this is a tax,” Carney insisted. “The President doesn't
call it a tax. The legislation doesn't say it's a tax. Calling it a
tax is idiotic. The President has made it quite clear that the $2,000
a person has to pay for refusing to buy health insurance is a
punishment for disobedience, not a tax.”
The fact
that the Supreme Court decision upholding Obamacare was founded on
Chief Justice John Roberts' finding that the so-called penalty is a
tax is irrelevant, according to Carney. “Roberts' convoluted logic
isn't binding on anything,” Carney said. “All that matters is
that the Court voted to sustain the law. Whatever reasons he or any
other Justice might give are irrelevant.”
To further
bolster his case against Obamacare being a tax, Carney cited the
waivers granted by Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen
Sebelius. “Secretary Sebelius has no authority to waive taxes,”
Carney pointed out. “She does, however, have the authority to
excuse persons from complying with the mandate. Those who think the
mandate is oppressive ought to be trying to get on her good side. I
don't think that castigating the Affordable Care Act for political
advantage is a course likely to achieve that.”
Thus far,
Sebelius has issued over 1,000 waivers"most of them to
organizations and businesses supporting the Administration's
political agenda.
In related
news, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (R) suggested that, based on
the Court's decision, the government might mandate the consumption of
tofu or the purchase of a Chevy Volt under threat of being assessed a
penalty for noncompliance. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi
(D-Calif) dismissed such fears as “misplaced. It is the
government's job to promote the general welfare. If eating healthier
food and driving non-polluting vehicles is deemed the appropriate way
of promoting that welfare who is Mr. Jindal to say that the
government shouldn't penalize those who won't cooperate?”
Contempt
Vote Neutralized by DOJ
The Obama
Administration's Department of Justice informed House Speaker John
Boehner (R-Ohio) that it would not honor any request for enforcement
of it's finding that Attorney General Eric Holder is in contempt of
Congress for his refusal to hand over copies of DOJ correspondence.
“The
President's declaration of Executive Privilege has already ruled that
Congress is not entitled to these documents,” Deputy Attorney
General James Cole asserted. “This preemptively exonerates Attorney
General Holder and vetoes any action Mr. Boehner might contemplate
taking in his effort to obtain this information.”
Cole
called Congress' efforts to secure DOJ correspondence on Operation
Fast and Furious “a clear violation of the Constitution's
protection against self-incrimination. Under the Fifth Amendment no
one may be compelled to testify against himself. Just because the
President has acted to shield the Attorney General from having to
invoke his right against self-incrimination doesn't mean that it
doesn't exist.”
In related
news, Attorney General Holder told a federal court that Texas
Governor Rick Perry's claim of executive privilege in a case
concerning voter ID is invalid. “Why would he object to sharing his
correspondence unless he has something to hide?” Holder asked.
Holder speculated that “the something to hide is the racist intent
of the Texas law requiring voters to show proof of identity before
being allowed to vote. It is an established fact that a
disproportionate number of undocumented persons are of Mexican
descent. If Texas is permitted to proceed with its voter ID plan it
will have a discriminatory impact on these people.”
Abortion
Clinic Offers Sunday Discount
The
Orlando Women's Center in Florida is offering a $50 discount to
patients for abortions performed on Sunday.
NARAL
spokesperson Adora Slaughter praised the clinic's “progressive
marketing campaign. The frontal assault on the notion that somehow
Sundays ought to be sacrosanct is a stroke of genius. I mean,
consider the contrast. Instead of sitting in a church worshiping a
nonexistent god a woman could be contributing to the health of the
environment by reducing the Earth's future population. If a $50
coupon is all it takes to shift our culture's focus in this way I'm
very encouraged about the progress we're making.”
If the $50
discount isn't enough to enable a woman to afford an abortion, the
Fund Abortion Now website (www.fundabortionnow.org)
offers additional aid. “No one should be forced to forgo an
abortion just because she can't pay for it,” Slaughter declared.
“Fortunately, the Affordable Care Act is on track to secure this
right for everyone in America. In the meantime, we're grateful that
alternate sources of funding are so readily available.”
Feds
Cancel Cooperation with States on Immigration Enforcement
The
Department of Homeland Security has unilaterally revoked an agreement
with Arizona and refused to initiate one with Virginia to cooperate
in enforcing the country's immigration laws.
“We were
never very enthusiastic about these agreements,” Secretary Janet
Napolitano admitted. “Communicating the Administration's nuanced
policy to the local governments has always been a problem. At the
same time, we felt it was important to convey an impression that we
could work together. After all, the President was telling everyone
that he had no choice under existing law.”
“Now the
situation has completely changed,” Napolitano boasted. “The
President's Executive Order has wiped out the previous law and
established a new policy for how we treat those who are in the
country illegally. Since we're no longer going to be enforcing the
old laws it would be a waste of time for us to simulate cooperation
between us and the local governments on enforcement issues.”
Napolitano
didn't totally rule out possible cooperation between her agency and
local governments. “If states want to help us issue work permits to
these people I'm sure we could figure out a division of labor
amenable to both sides,” she said. “The faster we can get new IDs
into as many hands as possible the happier the President will be.
Ideally, we'd like to have 800,000 new IDs in place within the next
four months.”
In related
news, the Department of Justice has set up a new “hotline”
illegal aliens can use to complain about local government harassment.
The hotline phone number is 1-855-353-1010. “We wanted to let this
oppressed minority know that we've got their backs,” Attorney
General Holder explained. “If any local cops even look at them
crooked we want to know. There's a new law now. Locals who won't
conform will be sanctioned.”
Obama
Adviser Urges Democrats to Take Offensive on Taxes
White
House adviser David Plouffe urged fellow Democrats to take the
offensive on the tax issue in the campaign to reelect the President.
“The GOP
is trying to twist Justice Roberts' words into a campaign slogan
implying that we favor imposing taxes on average Americans,”
Plouffe contended. “The truth is that the President and the
Democratic Party are not in favor of raising taxes on
everyone. We are in favor of raising penalties on the
non-compliant.”
Plouffe
emphasized that “it is absolutely critical that we clarify this
distinction to the electorate. Those who are cooperating with the
President's agenda"whether it be through buying the mandated health
insurance, signing up for food stamps, hiring an undocumented worker,
or whatever"have nothing to fear. They will get waivers, subsidies,
and pardons as needed. All they have to do is help make sure the
President is reelected.”
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