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Exclusive report: Earth Hour 2009.

Written by Subject: Humor
Rush overnight transcript: 
 
Earth Hour started as a liberal effort to promote environmentalism or peace or something like that, and the idea was along the lines of an eco-friendly boycott. Almost immediately, Limbaugh launched a counter-initiative instructing his followers to turn on every light in the house at the very same time to show that no matter what pool the liberals are swimming in, there will always be a neocon to piss in it.
 
More centrist liberals such as MoveOn.org types left all the lights blazing but drew the curtains so they could tell their friends they participated. The anarchist factions sat in total darkness and groped one another surreptitiously while the militant feminists advocated leaving the lights on but wearing blindfolds. Trade unions initially split, arguing that the reduced industrial output wouldn't be under their direct control, however the language eventually centered around "standing in solidarity with our Jurrasic brothers and sisters who labored millions of years ago to become coal" and thus power the electrical industry. IUAW and other unions thus kept their shop lights on all night. DHS and the security state apparatus pondered the value of a hasty executive order which would have taken over control of all light switches and power outlets, and they set a date to complete this takeover by year 2025.
 
Both houses of Congress passed resolutions with identical content, reading in part that "Your congress does or does not support this purported event depending on what you want to hear" while also nominating "anyone who doesn't have one yet" for the Congressional Medal Of Honor while including $85 billion in pork concealed among it's 5.643 pages of impossible to understand text. Only the hippies seemed completely uneffected as they burned their aroma therapy candles and spent a rather normal evening "checking out the patterns".
 
Youth of all ages and political persuasuions had looked forward to a night of unobstructed vandalism and looting, so naturally they are among the most disappointed of factions at the outcome. As far as the "true conservative" or patriot community response, this is the only one I've seen so far. I'm off to grope some anarchist chicks and check out the patterns with the hippies.
 
This is Oyate sneaking around like a thief in the night for  Freedom's Phoenix News.

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