AP has had basically the only coverage for days. Everybody just picks up the AP wire. But here's a boil-down of the latest and it removes some ambiguity from points they've published earlier.
It's headlined "Congress expected to pass rescue package". I know, you are shocked, right? Well, don't bother reading it. Here are the salient points with my commentary.
A "major breakthrough" in negotiations is that government can insure rather than buy garbage loans optionally. At who's option, nobody knows to date.
Whatever, it's the same thing because insuring a worthless loan means you end up owning it. The cost has been transferred. You got the junk, you paid for it, deal done.
The government, after five years, has to submit a plan to Congress on how to recoup any losses. And in 5 years it will really will be fun to remember how they screwed us all over again. Kind of like an anniversary. A new American 'tradition'. We'll gather the kids around the camp fire and tell the story about how things used to be before government saved us.
"We've still got more to do to finalize it, but I think we're there," said Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. Just call him P-there. He's in the P-Zone.
He's doing the Paulson dance. By now we know whatever's good for these ignorant imps is bad for us. Looks like we're off the charts on the P-Scale so you know how screwed we are.
Executives whose companies benefit from the rescue could not get "golden parachutes" and would see their pay packages limited. To whatever they can scam and shave and bilk and defraud. They are limited to whatever they can steal and get away with. Besides, practically everybody they know already has a golden parachute. They are going for platinum.
The government would receive stock warrants in return for the bailout relief, giving taxpayers a chance to share in financial companies' future profits. I love the way they word this. Government receives, giving WHOM a chance to share in WHAT? OK, when do I get my check? I'll take my cut of the $700B. now please. By recent calculations, that's roughly $25,000 and it sure would come in handy. I bet recently homeless Americans who are loosing their houses could use 25 Gingers right about now as well. That buys a used FEMA camper AND a pickup truck.
To help struggling homeowners, the plan requires the government to try renegotiating the bad mortgages it acquires with the aim of lowering borrowers' monthly payments so they can keep their homes. And it's a true relief to know that government is going to step in and save us even MORE money. After all, they are efficiency experts.
"Nobody got everything they wanted," said Democratic Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts. Yeah, nobody but Congress and their good buddies. The rest of us are well and truly SCREWED.