Introducing the Freedom's Phoenix printer.
No longer will a select group of private businessmen have control over your money. Just like them, you too can start printing your own currency right from your own home or apartment.
Behold the Counterfeiter 4409:
Prints in either portrait or landscape mode.
stock number: FTHEFED
Pre-cuts paper to correct size. And with our included software you can print $1, $2, $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100's to your heart's content. Why go to a bank when you can simply print what you need on demand just like Mr. Paulson?
Don't take our word, just read this testimonial:
This can be used by the whole family. Your children can get a great educational experience as they use the Counterfeiter 4409 to print up trillions in cash just like a real Congressman or Federal Reserve Board member does.
And with the Counterfeiter 4409 you and your family will know that just like the government you can never run out of cash.
So pay off those credit cards, pay off that car, help restore faith in our national economy by buying more homes, cars, yachts and land than you could possibly use in a lifetime of avarice.
But wait that is not all, with our software upgrades you can print other country's currencies too, and as $500, $1,000 and $5,000 dollar bills are soon desperately brought back into circulation we will update the software so you can print those too.
For this limited time only, you need no money. Simply order the Counterfeiter 4409 printer with included print cartridges, special paper and software for only $110,000,000.04 by calling (800) 227-4133 and ask for Ben. Then when you unwrap this fine printer simply print up what you owe us and send it to:
(c/o Mr. Bernanke)
P.O. Box 7702
San Francisco, CA
Respond before November 4th and receive the Counterfeiter Mini printer free, and a complete set of replacement printer cartridges with no obligation to pay its $700,000,000,000 price tag...ever. Someone else can pay it off for you for $850,000,000,000. We know this seems like a staggering amount of money, but not so with the Counterfeiter 4409. Spending any quantity of money will never bother you again.