Oh hi Oyate. Pedophile bikers? Very imaginative but why worry about terrestial threats when we have reptillians from the Pliedes system out to rob our cows of DNA? And they seem to find it necessary to mutillate the cows. How much more graphic and bent do you want to get than that?
Worse, my phratry, wait I guess our phratry since you are Oyate too, we don't have much teaching on extra-terrestials and almost nothing about what to do about it.
There's nothing we can do about all-powerful aliens that seem fascinated with our cows. But pedopholes on the other hand, there's lots we can do about them. For instance we can hit them in the head with an angle iron. That simple technique works almost every time. They go down. And if you hit them hard enough they don't get back up.
Some white guy told me so.
But to tell you the truth, all the sudden we are hearing about pedophiles. Hey, I'm not trying not to take it seriously but 20 years ago everybody was afraid of being eatnen by sharks. The movie Jaws had something to do with it. And in between that everybody was scared that the evil dead would come back to life and eat everybody's brains.
OK, sharks exist, that's true but zombies that eat your brains don't. We're pretty sure.
Pedophilia exists as far as we can tell. We don't know why. When I say "we" this time I'm taling about tribal wisdom. We have no teaching for this. This can only mean it did not exist among us because we have teachings for other things that people consider aberrant today like homosexuality. We called them "two spirits". We had words for epillepsy, but we thought they were communicating to spirits so we took extra special care of them.
I can only think if we had people who messed with children underneath the loin cloth, their names would have been "killed him dead" or "see ya later" or "help me dig this hole".
And this I remember. For lesser crimes. For no crime atall. Our diagnosis in this case is "muneishmuk", a condition of having lost your heart and if it gets extreme, we bind you hands and feet and arms and legs and we throw you into deep water and say "now you have to fight for your life".
But in all or our tribal wisdom, we have no record, nothing atall about "pedophelia". The whole thing about native culture is visible wealth so what you want in a wife in the fattest gal in town. That gives you status because it says "look how successful a hunter I am because my wife is fat".
And we do look at pretty young girls (or I used to) but say "what a pretty young gal, man just wait till she gets fat". Because a gal is pretty but a woman....whoa, you guys know.
Anyways, listen: for almost any disease of the spirit or mind or body, we have a teaching and a medicine. For this thing called "peophilia" we have nohting. O. Nada. So that means it didn't exist before.......
Drum roll please................
Before you showed up. You Wasi. But there you go. You have done well my young apprentices, you have drawn me out and made me speak. For your reward, I relinquish the name Oyate. You can be Oyate from now on. And from this minute I will be known by my true name, Scheuffer S Madoof III.
But my friends all call me "shoof".
The S in my middle name is Shemuel after my great grandfather who immigrated from Tsarist Russia.