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News Link • The R3VOLution Continues with Jet Lacey

Southern Poverty Law Center Reports a Satirical Wanted Poster of Chris Simcox as Real

• SPLC.org
 

11 Comments in Response to

Comment by
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If you don't belong to a group that SPLC considers a "Hate Group"...you aren't trying! 

Comment by Nick Barnett
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WE KNOW THE TRUTH
WE KNOW THE TRUTH

:)

Comment by Concerned Patriot
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Who would have thought that the answer to my question would be found in the Phoenix New Times blog SPLC LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDD to me ME.

Comment by Concerned Patriot
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ZOMG!

This is funny stuff here but seriously stop nominating me for stuff someone might take it seriously and find me, Im browsing this place without a proxy now so it could happen.

And is this real or not im confused as almost every other news site says its real, only you guys say its a "satire".

 

Comment by Nick Barnett
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They'd probably request a scene of someone making a pipe bomb, then arrest everyone that had ever heard of pipe bombs.

But, I TOTALLY agree with you about that SPLC turd, Potok... he DOES look like an owl! OYATE FTMFW

Comment by Found Zero
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ZOMG, here it is!

I can't belive it took me this long to put 2+2 together. We have, right now, all of the skills, tools and talent, for nothing out of pocket, we can service a lucrative industry.

People are paying and making money off us "being a problem". Well, all we have to do to monetize this is to essentially professionalize this. We will be the most rad, the most irresponsible wingnuts for the camera that the world has ever seen. We know how to deliver some rad, extreme activism and we know what the DP wants: seriously well framed-shots in kickass environments and serious professionals who don't mind repreating the radassctivist thing again and again until that perfect shot is nailed.

Then we spin it off into a reality TV series, do a book, go on promotional tours, get on MTV, take all the cash and invest it into an alpaca farm and orchard in Venezuela.

Come on guys, all we have to do is insert ourselves into the value-stream here. You can't see the potential? It's a freaking CASH COW from what I can tell.

Comment by Found Zero
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Oh and I'm on a roll. If the SPLC reports weren't so snarky, I'd address them in a more academic tone. But here's Mr. Owl from the SPLC who could use a dose of his own medicine, to whit:

"Give a hoot and don't pollute."

Not to mention the fact that being on the SPLC list has become the new "shiny badge" of the movement. We all know Ernie strenuously applied himself to be on the list. I myself gave some effort just to try to self-identify as a contender. I mean, if you don't make the list, can't we just get honorable mention as runners-up? Or at least a t-shirt or something?

It seems like so little to ask being as we give them a reason to exist and something to talk about while soaking up all those donations. Seriously, WTF kind of f*cked up situation is this when the people that get paid to talk about the people who do things get paid more than the people actually doing things?

Why don't we just cut out the middle man and just ask the people who don't want us to be doing things to pay us directly and save everybody some grief? Because we seem to do what we do anyways. ZOMG that gives me another great business idea! HFS, get ready for this!

Comment by Found Zero
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I'm sorry, I can't resist. Until recently the SPLC still listed the "Constitution Rangers" on it's list of hate groups. They might have dropped them since I dropped in personal convo with them that as far as we could tell, they had at least 50%, probably 100% of the famed Constitution Rangers in jail, in the singular person of Ed Brown.

To this day I'll challenge anyone to bring evidence to the contrary. The Constitution Rangers came with Ed and went with Ed. In terms of the field, their actions have been suppressed. In strategic terms, they suffered not only deapitation but the subsequent internment of 100% of their fighting forces. El senor Ed es no problemo ahora muchachos.

But due to the self-mythologizing aspect of Ed, and due to the scupulous attention of that owly-looking dude from SPLC, let's just call him Mr. Owl (because I suspect he truly knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Charms toostie roll pop), the Constitution Rangers live on in the caves and underground hide-aways in the minds and archives of the SPLC.

Comment by Found Zero
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You talking to me? Fucking with you? Nope, it's more poking fun at SPLC. I mean, if they are gonna publish every little joke we tell, let's tell 'em some f*cking jokes man.

Hey Jet, can you categorically DENY the existence of our flying monkey army?

I myself can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a mutant flying monkey patriot army located near or abouts our nation's capitol.

Comment by Jet Lacey
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Are you fucking with me?  It's ok if you are....maybe I'm just dense.

Comment by Found Zero
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TOP SECRET PATRIOT BULLETIN: FOR OUR EYES ONLY. DO NOT, REPEAT, DO NOT ALLOW THIS MATERIAL TO FALL INTO THE HANDS OF THE SPLC.

PLEASE SET YOUR DECODER-RINGS TO LEVEL B. THIS MESSAGE IS ENCRYPTED.

I'm announcing the first annual Send CP To DC For The SPLC Dance-athon For the Opposite Purposes Of Peace (SCP2DCFTSPLCDFTOPOP) event. Yes, that's right, CP, Concerned Patriot will be our representative.

This gala extravaganza will commence with CP riding at the head of our all-giraffe-and-patriot army (1st Regiment of the notorious Dick Armey will lead the charge) followed by 12 hours of boot-scootin, rug-ripping fun with the SPLC's own Heidi Beirich who's hair will be especially styled in a beehive-tornado of whipping curls and twirls by our own Esteban Patriotico.

But all of this will be a diversionary tactic as the bulk of the giraffes peel off and liberate all the animals in the national zoo because yes, that's right, we've indoctrinated them too and they are totally like "RON PAUL R3VOLUTION!"

The idea here is to lead all the animals (the famed Constitution Rangers will head that one up, that's right, the real-live Constitution Rangers in their thousands, their well-ordered ranks and well-oiled machinery, the tanks, the cannon, the missile-shooting trucks) down to the party and with air-support provided by our flying monkey army, spirit Miss Beirich away for what people could only imagine as immoral purposes. Estaban says he can make her look fantastic and there's no reason for any of us to doubt El Esteban Patriotico.

END SECRET CODED MESSAGE. PLEASE RETURN YOUR DECODER RINGS TO ALPHA SETTING AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.


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