stopped by on behalf of ...
CIA DEA Dept. of Homeland Security
FBI IRS Transportation Security Admin.
NSA FAA Office of Total
INS SEC Information Awareness
ATF FDIC Your local police dept.
SSA Other All of the above.
Because you were out, we decided to ...
Ask your __neighbors __children __spouse
Inspect your __garden __garage __car
Let ourselves into your:
Read your: __mail __email __diary
__Rolodex __daily planner.
Checked your Waste:
Sewage __smoking __ birth control
__illegal drugs __legal drugs
__DNA sample collection.
Place a wiretap on your telephone.
Install __video __audio surveillance equip.
Conducted an inventory of all RFID tagged
Inspect your __computer __books
__spice rack __refrigerator.
We’re sorry, this information is privileged.
Divulging any information of this search is a
violation in accordance with the Patriot Act and
is punishable by up to 10 years in Federal Prison.
As a result of our visit ...
You should feel safer, knowing that your
government is doing all it can to protect you.
You are considered a “person of interest” and
may be subject to monitoring, media
You are under arrest and are advised to turn
yourself in immediately to local law
You are wanted for questioning.
Please call: ____________OR ____________
to arrange a convenient time to be interviewed.
Again, we are sorry that we missed you,
but rest assured, we know where you live.
For more information: