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Massachusetts Police Nab Five-Year-Old Fugitive Bibliophile


Charlton (Mass.) police have finally tracked down Hailey Benoit after months of fugitive hiding. This week the five-year-old went to the door and found justice waiting in the form of a police sergeant demanding to know where are the two library books that have been overdue for two months. I expect the prosecutor will take the next natural step and throw the book at her.

The police have been apologetic but insist that it was the local library who sent them on the trial of five-year-old Hailey. Her mother described a freaked out child who asked if she was about to be arrested. Remarkably, she was not placed in custody and given time in jail to consider her bibliophilic crimes. My assumption is that the prison librarian did not want her kind in the cellblock. It is probably for the best. Hailey would have just come out a hardened bookhorder with a prison Dr. Seuss tattoo.

We have previously discussed the over-criminalization of society, but this takes the cake. Charlton must have the lowest crime rate in the country if they have worked down to little Hailey as the felon of the day.

By the way, the family insists that it received no warning before the library police came knocking.


1 Comments in Response to

Comment by Stupid Amerkin
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“It’ is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”.

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