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IPFS News Link • Martial Law

"Murderous" Jade Helm Revenge Plot: Tattoo Parlor Owner, Friends Planned To Ambush Army


By now, it's no secret that the federal government invaded Texas on the 15th of July. It's been 170 years since the US last annexed the state and because you have to do these things again every so often just to keep everyone honest (it's kind of like renewing your wedding vows), Washington cooked up a set of "training exercises" called Jade Helm 15 and proceeded to launch a two-month Lone Star lockdown. 

Or at least that's what some Texans were led to believe, and while we won't speculate on the extent to which that narrative borders on the absurd, we would note that the US Spec Ops Command probably should have realized that showing people a map which identifies the state (painted bright red) as "hostile" would stir up trouble amongst those who are naturally inclined to distrust big government. Fears only grew after Governor Greg Abbott called up the state guard and the entire ordeal officially became a circus after Chuck Norris, apparently forgetting that Walker Texas Ranger isn't a real person, warned the federal government that Jade Helm looked like it would come "too near to the backdoor" of his ranch. 

While Twitter lit up with Jade Helm jokes on the first official day of the exercises, not everyone was laughing. Among those who took the federal takeover "threat" seriously were the gentlemen pictured below, Walter Eugene Litteral, Christopher James Barker, and Christopher Todd Campbell.