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News Link • Techno Gadgets

The 2017 Tech Wishlist

• https://fee.org, Eileen L. Wittig

None of the items are new. They are all just new versions of things that already exist: phones, computers, etc. They even said I should be excited for the new FitBit. Why on earth would I be excited for something that's going to tell me I'm failing at life for not moving enough?

2017 should have robots, AI, automated everything. Phones are great but they're old news. If the tech world wants to make things that'll get us all excited, they need to make things that will let us move less, not more.

Here's what all you tech geeks – including my friends, who should know laziness is the goal by now – should be inventing:

JARVIS

Don't even try to tell me you watched Iron Man without thinking, "I need JARVIS in my life. With that same accent." Siri and Alexa are great, but they're not JARVIS-level. And with the amount of meetings and work events and social events and heaven knows what that we all have, we need something that's going to be on our level.

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