"Good evening my fellow North Americans, I am speaking to you from a secure bunker in an undisclosed location.
Much has been made of my Presidency and that I have allegedly become authoritarian and how I have effectively neutered the Constitution while ushering in a Police State. I have also been accused of engaging in the wholesale giveaway of American sovereignty and American civil liberties. On the surface, I recognize that my actions can viewed with suspicion from an American point of view. I fully realize that my popularity ratings, among the American people, are at an all-time low for any sitting President. However, I want to assure my fellow North Americans that my motives are strictly patriotic as every action that I have undertaken is in support of the preservation of our way of life. I am speaking to you in order that you may come to see my motives as being purely patriotic.
As President, everything I have done has been to prepare for the inevitable war with China. I have not told you about this earlier because I did not think you were ready to hear the truth and because of being the innocent and simplistic people that you are, I just wanted all of you to live your lives and just trust me to handle the details.
The case for the coming war with China is strong. The Chinese accurately boast that they can place a 100 million man army on the battlefield. In the 1990's, the Chinese began developing "killer satellite" technology which is capable of knocking out the "eyes and ears" of our surveillance capability. If the surveillance capabilities of the United States were to be compromised, our forces would be unable to outmaneuver our enemies and we would be reduced to a "man on man" type of warfare. At the present time, we are unable to win this type of war with the Chinese due to their vastly superior numbers. It seems as if our greatest fears have come to fruition as last week an undetected Chinese nuclear submarine surfaced inside the perimeter of the Kitty Hawk Task Force. The Chinese submarine completely surprised the American aircraft carrier and her escort vessels. How did this Chinese submarine escape detection? It seems as if our greatest fears are coming true as the Chinese have signed an agreement with Brazil which provided them with space-tracking capabilities. This fact, combined with their "killer-satellite" technology, the Chinese have apparently learned to neutralize a significant portion of our surveillance capabilities. We can only assume that all of our forces are now vulnerable to the numerically superior Chinese. In addition, the Chinese acquisition of nuclear submarines, the development of their nuclear arms delivery capability with the improvements in their technology along with their 100 million man army, the present threat to American freedom is unprecedented.
Much has been made of our overwhelming trade deficit with China which numbers over 120 billion dollars, per year, for each of the last several fiscal years. I have been accused by my political opponents of fermenting this trade deficit with my explicit support of the various free trade agreements. To this, I plead guilty. I felt that if we helped to support the expansion of the Chinese economy, we could buy some much needed time in order to prepare for the upcoming war. Much like the victim who acquiesces to the playground bully, and in the spirit of Neville Chamberlain, I have been trying appease the Chinese by engaging in a tremendous giveaway of our economy to the benefit of the Chinese people. To date, this strategy has seemingly appeased the Chinese government.
It appears that our period of successful Chinese acquiescence is coming to an end and we must now seriously prepare for the inevitable war. Our own General Craddock has announced that entire military units from Latin America are currently training in China. This is consistent with our intelligence data which has found that the Chinese have established military relationships with half of the South American nations. We already know that the Chinese control both sides of the Panama Canal. Further we know that the Chinese control most of the deep water container sea ports (e.g., Puerta Colonet) along the west coast of Central and North America. At the port at Colonet, the planned container ships are so massive that each one will take three days to offload. These container ports will make it easy for the Chinese to bring into our backyard very large amounts of illegal aliens (i.e., troops) and massive stockpiles of weapons. In other words, my fellow North Americans, the Chinese have already established a beachhead on our land mass and they are preparing to invade. They have further embedded an impressive army south of our border in the form of their newfound Latin American allies. The Chinese have established massive oil leases with Venezuela's Hugo Chavez which will, no doubt, fuel their military capacity to invade our nation. The Chinese have also established an overt military presence in our own hemisphere in support of the peace-keeping efforts in Haiti.
I have been accused of lying our way into war in the Middle East. Also, my administration is being accused of building permanent military bases in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Again, I plead guilty to these allegations as well. Ladies and gentlemen, when we go to war with China, we will need to control Middle East oil supplies in support of our war effort. If we do not, our military forces will suffer a similar fate that the Nazi's suffered in World War II when their vaunted Panzer tanks ran out of fuel. Shame on those for saying that the Vice President and I were merely serving Halliburton's and Exxon's greed to the detriment of the American taxpayer and the young American lives that have been lost. Please remember, I did this for you, the North American people.
China has the present capability to defeat us based on attrition. Therefore, I found it necessary to expand both our population and land mass by entering the United States into the North American Union. You may view the NAU as a shadowy government. However, to withstand the Chinese threat, we need more land and more people. The North American Union accomplishes this end. Yes, I know that in joining the NAU and the SPP, we have sacrificed our independence. Yet, Americans must realize that there is safety in numbers and freedom is never free. We must be willing to sacrifice a little sovereignty for our continued security. Ben Franklin be damned!
In order to defeat China, we need millions of new boots on the ground. Therefore, I have implicitly and explicitly supported every form of immigration ranging from ignoring the hordes of illegal immigrants to the massive guest worker programs of CAFTA. I fully support the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act (CIRA, SB. 2611) which will allow 103 million legal immigrants to enter our country. Ultimately, the maximum number that could legally enter our nation would be almost 200 million over twenty years. This is over 180 million more immigrants than our present law permits. As all Americans realize, I have looked the other way as 20-30 million illegal aliens presently live in our country. I am aware that the cumulative effect of these large numbers will reduce the wage structure and job security of our country. Further, I am cognizant of the fact that the mere presence of these millions of new and future immigrants will overwhelm our infrastructure's ability to support these massive numbers. But rest assured that history will clearly show that I did this for the benefit of the North American people.
As President, I plan to fast-track these immigrants to U.S. citizenship provided they serve in our military for six years. This will greatly increase the size of the military and will help to provide our forces with numerical equivalency to the Chinese. We can worry about the infrastructure and our declining wages at a later time. If we do not meet and defeat the growing Chinese threat, there is not going to be any infrastructure or jobs left in our once great country.
Much has also been made of my repeated violations of American civil liberties and the wholesale destruction of the Constitution. Please allow me to explain. The Real ID Card is necessary to make certain that members of the Chinese military are not among us. The Patriot Acts will allow us to monitor Chinese communications from within our country without a warrant. The Military Councils Act of 2006 will allow us to arrest Chinese sympathizers without going through the cumbersome process of a constitutionally guaranteed trial. The fact that a few Americans could be declared as "illegal alien combatants" and could be jailed without the protections of habeas corpus can just be chalked up to the collateral damage that will inevitably occur when a nation is at war.
You see, my fellow North Americans, my motives are indeed pure and they are unquestionably patriotic. I will undoubtedly go down in history as one of the most selfless Presidents in North American history. By the way, we will soon require the services of your male children. Thank you and may God Bless North America."
And then I awakened from my dream to realize that "The Great American Garage Sale" is almost complete and this sell out of America has been led by the most corrupt and traitorous American President in American history.
The Chinese are absolutely at the gates of our country and this President seems indifferent to this stunning fact. Our liberties, our economy, our national security and our way of life have been sacrificed by this President in his unholy support of what his Daddy called "The New World Order."
This President has allowed the transnational corporations and various foreign and domestic entities to conquer the United States. It only remains for the Chinese to finish us off. And yet, I have a new dream. It is a dream where every American awakens from their very deep slumber, rises up and takes back our country from those forces which would continue to use the American people and their resources for their own purposes.
The only question remains, will we awaken soon enough to recapture what we are losing?