Some of you might remember a comment I posted regarding the last time my militia
group was activated to assasinify Ben Bernanke but we got side-tracked
on pancakes because Burt's wife mary Beth showed up with all the
fixings and our militia leader Bill had been on a tare the night before
and before long the younger ones got to playing horse shoes and the whole thing got side-tracked.
a disaster with a happy ending because Little Joe, you know, Mr.
Smith's young lad, well rumor has it that he kind of made it with
Lindsey under the bridge and we kind of knew he was sweet on her all
along so about a month or two our whole militia will turn out in full
regalia fur a good old fashioned shotgun wedding.
how we can't shoot straight when we're sober but put a gal up on the
alter and we'll see the right end of business is put to the stick.
Hells if we can't see ya, we can smell ya you city pricks with your
fancy-Dan haircuts and slicker-city smell-good.
Well dang if the same thing didn't happen this
time despite our best efforts. We really did due dilligence this time,
having corned our powerder days in advance and cast both balls and
twisted up many a shot and we practiced smoke signals and bugle calls
all week, by Gods we camped in tents and endured the rain and some
besodden idiot in collonial costume read a soggy version of the
Declaration of Independance and all the charcoal got wet and the kids
were all crying and after that, the whole idea had just lost it's shine.
Right about then my wife looks at me and I'm thinking it's a
good thing we brought the truck with the air conditioning because this
gal is putting off more steam than the Arizona sun after a monsoon. But other priorities soon become apparent when she says "where are the children?"
Shit woman, last I saw, the kids were gonna catch scorpions. They are fine.
Yup, that's when I got THE LOOK, that aweful, convincting look. I knew I was in for a beating.
she threw her coffee on the ground and said it was for shit and she
didn't sleep all that good and if me and my "idiot friends" want to go
around assasinating people that's fine but don't expect her to get drug around the woods anymore and dealing with ants and spiders.
the kids just love it but out of respect for moms, guys and I'm
serious, I'm gonna have to give up the life of a radical right-wing
assasin. She's right.The kids can take over terrorizing mom, they are better at it than I am.