Following the lead of the MSM (main/lamestream media), the AZ Republic today published a shocking article implying that Arizona proprietors of bars and restarants are using the popular, legal but still repugnant stimulant "Rush" which is available at head-shops everywhere. This article is already sparking controversy.
Apparently spear-headed by such well-known groups as ACORN and MADAM (Mothers Against Damnnear All Mammals), the phrase "Just because you CAN by Rush at the corner store doesn't mean you SHOULD!" is already resounding throughout popular media channels.
"I can't understand why everything I do as a bar owner keeps getting political" said one bar owner who chose to remain nameless. "I mean, the only drug I sell is alcohol and it's totally legal. I don't do drugs" said the bar owner.
Other restauranteurs and bar proprietors expressed confusion. "I thought this was about guns" said one confused operator of legitimate business. "First it was smoking, then it was guns and now we're all on drugs? I can't keep up with this" said the confused operator who chose to remain nameless. "I'm opening a hair and nails salon" the confused operator surmised.
In a rare interview granted to FreedomsPhoenix.com, senior editors of the Arizona Republic said "you sons of bitches snipped us and that's not like when we snipped a picture of some black guy, this is us (emphasis added) you are screwing with you little piss-ants and believe you us, there's no hole deep enough for you to hide in in all of Arizona. Ride for the hills boys, ride as fast as you can 'cause we're gonna git ya".
Always good for editorial perspective, the fine editors sent me out for a response from the Phoenix New Times who entering a meeting can be loudly heard on our audio recording as saying "Oh my God, black man with gun, black man with gun, run! aaaaaaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Follow up interview requests with Phoenix New Times were not granted.
Despite the heated rhetoric on both sides, the AZ Republic is on record of saying:
"Bar, restaurant owners rush" and if they can doctor the evidence then so the hell can we. And if they can make stuff up well so the hell can Oyate.
This is Oyate reporting live from Sunny Arizona. Additional reporters who contributed may have included nut products and animal fats. Consult your physician before consuming. This offer void where prohibited. Partial assembly required. Batteries not included. Kids, get your parent's permission before banging their credit card.