Found  Zero

More About: MEDIA (MainStreamMedia - aka MSM)

AZ Republic accuses bar, restaurant owners of using "Rush", stimulants.

Following the lead of the MSM (main/lamestream media), the AZ Republic today published a shocking article implying that Arizona proprietors of bars and restarants are using the popular, legal but still repugnant stimulant "Rush" which is available at head-shops everywhere. This article is already sparking controversy.
Apparently spear-headed by such well-known groups as ACORN and MADAM (Mothers Against Damnnear All Mammals), the phrase "Just because you CAN by Rush at the corner store doesn't mean you SHOULD!" is already resounding throughout popular media channels.
"I can't understand why everything I do as a bar owner keeps getting political" said one bar owner who chose to remain nameless. "I mean, the only drug I sell is alcohol and it's totally legal. I don't do drugs" said the bar owner.
Other restauranteurs and bar proprietors expressed confusion. "I thought this was about guns" said one confused operator of legitimate business. "First it was smoking, then it was guns and now we're all on drugs? I can't keep up with this" said the confused operator who chose to remain nameless. "I'm opening a hair and nails salon" the confused operator surmised.
In a rare interview granted to, senior editors of the Arizona Republic said "you sons of bitches snipped us and that's not like when we snipped a picture of some black guy, this is us (emphasis added) you are screwing with you little piss-ants and believe you us, there's no hole deep enough for you to hide in in all of Arizona. Ride for the hills boys, ride as fast as you can 'cause we're gonna git ya".

Always good for editorial perspective, the fine editors sent me out for a response from the Phoenix New Times who entering a meeting can be loudly heard on our audio recording as saying "Oh my God, black man with gun, black man with gun, run! aaaaaaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Follow up interview requests with Phoenix New Times were not granted.

Despite the heated rhetoric on both sides, the AZ Republic is on record of saying:
"Bar, restaurant owners rush" and if they can doctor the evidence then so the hell can we. And if they can make stuff up well so the hell can Oyate.
This is Oyate reporting live from Sunny Arizona. Additional reporters who contributed may have included nut products and animal fats. Consult your physician before consuming. This offer void where prohibited. Partial assembly required. Batteries not included. Kids, get your parent's permission before banging their credit card.

2 Comments in Response to

Comment by Found Zero
Entered on:

In response to the above, the editors of AZ Republic have offered the following link which shows what they actually said.

For reasons of keeping the same standard of journalistic integrity they do, I bury it in the comments and editorials and "opinions" just like they did for Alan Korwin, inviting him to write an "editorial" while they slam us on the front page.

Well here you go pussies. Here's your attrib. You don't mind if I change some things do you?

Comment by Found Zero
Entered on:

Unfortunately, this response from the editors at Phoenix New Times came too late for publication:


Dear Racist, Homophobic, Intollerant, Gun-Toting Nazi;

Ha ha ha, very funny bringing a DIFFERENT black guy with gun into our offices for an interview. Just because of this we're firing all our female black receptionists because there's no other way you could have got past security unless they were all shameless flirts.

We will not and cannot leave this brazen mis-charactarization of our editorial conduct to go unanswered and as you will soon see, we on the proud editorial board stand united in our intention to put our photographers into the line of fire that you so desperately want to provoke.

Again, we iterate: if you think we will back down from a fight, our photographers won't. They are trained to cut your heads off out of frame and if necessary, they can even cut your almighty firearms out of frame so we can't see them.

Tremble before our power and control of public perception and submit to us while you still can."

This hand-delivered letter was signed "signed in blood" with a somewhat smeary-looking red substance our scientists subsequently determined to be catsup.

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