Found  Zero

More About: Humor

Canada proposes Ebay as solution to overcrowded jails.

For consumers starved for cute little hippy-chick crunch-muffins and greasy-haired guitar playing males, Canada may soon have an answer.
"We're considering liquidating our stock of activists, currently clogging our jails and judicial system, over Ebay" said Under-minister of the Upper-minister of Treachery And Debauchery.

This consideration comes to light after an all-star, blue-ribbon commission panel sought guidance from other government ministries, where suggestions ran from "paint them brown and send them to Gitmo" to "drug them, drop them into Hudsons Bay and forget about them".
The Under Minister hastened to add that "most of the suggestions would have brought attention to a nation that desperately wants to be forgotten".
Police commissioner Brownosky added "hey look, most of these activists are hardly used, practically new and can stand up to a hell of a beating" said Police Commissioner Brownosky. "We could sell them on Ebay and make a pile of dough". To illustrate his point, commissioner Brownosky grabbed a slight female activist by her hair and began relentlessly thrashing her with a billy club. The young activist showed no response to the beating. "They like to play dead, it's no problem, they just do that sometimes" explained the commissioner.
Under Minister of the Upper Minister did not comment further as his head was up the Upper Minister's ass, but he sent a note saying "we're still a bit backasswards in Canada but we're learning from the USA" it read. Commissioner Brownosky, meanwhile, was unavailable for any comments other than "it's my turn Brownosky, it's my turn" as of this writing.

2 Comments in Response to

Comment by Found Zero
Entered on:

Ah, my friend death, you honor me overmuch.

I just want the chance to snipe a bid on a cheap crunch-muffin.

I lost Catherine Bliesh to a younger, more handsome male activist and I want some payback. Meanwile it is perfectly well known that "oh Canada" warehouses many of same. And if Canada followed the economic rules our scholars recommend, namely that ALL assets are "marked to market", logic dictates that I should be able to afford a crunch-muffin with a really cute butt and squeezable parts for like $5 USD.

Agree or disagree with the Austrian economic theory, I still want my crunch-muffin. And you Cannucks are holding out.

Don't think we don't know what your ultimate plans are!!!

Comment by Die Daily
Entered on:

Oh man, Oyate, you really kill me sometimes. But you're on the money, here. It's how we roll up here in the frozen tundra (and the tropical rain forest belt here on Vancouver Island, BC where I reside). Yeah, we up here (including us full-on-birth-certificate possessing natural born ex-pats) gonna CUBA your incarcerationist asses. You know what's gonna happen, right? We gonna be smart and send our activists to YOU. Enjoy. After some two score years of getting the free trade SHAFT from the US, we gonna luuuuuuuuuv you long time, baby. Want some water? Oil? Some lumber? Uranium? Diamonds? Yeah, bet you do.

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