Kim Jong-Il Kicks Iran out of Axis of Evil - by Andy BorowitzReport.com
Ernest Hancock
Website:
www.ernesthancock.com
Date: 12-06-2007
Subject:
Iran
Nukeless Nation ‘Not Evil Enough,’
Says Korean Madman
One
day after a National Intelligence Estimate revealed that Iran halted
its nuclear arms program in 2003, North Korean president Kim Jong-Il
ejected Iran from the Axis of Evil, calling them “not evil enough.”
A visibly furious Kim called a press conference in Pyongyang today
to excoriate the Iranians as “evildoer wannabes” and “pussies.”
“I can’t tell you how many times Mahmoud Ahmadinejad looked me in
the eye, told me he was developing nuclear weapons, and cackled like a
madman,” Kim said. “That man does not deserve to cackle.”
Kim added that when Iran was admitted into the Axis of Evil in 2002, “they knew the rules: no nukes, no membership.”
The National Intelligence Estimate, Kim said, showed that Iran was
not holding up their end of the bargain: “They said they were enriching
uranium and all the while they were going all Libya on my ass.”
In the first step towards formally removing Iran from the evil
organization, the North Korean strongman said he was “un-inviting” Mr.
Ahmadinejad from the Axis of Evil’s winter golf outing in Scottsdale,
Arizona.
In a terse statement from Mr. Ahmadinejad, the Iranian president
said he would agree not to attend the outing but wanted his deposit
back.
As for who would take Iran’s place in the Axis of Evil, Kim said
there was no shortage of candidates: “Right now we’re looking at
Venezuela, Syria, and Rupert Murdoch.”
Elsewhere, natural honey is a more effective remedy for children’s
coughs than over-the-counter medicines, according to a study
commissioned by the National Association of Bees.
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