My Dog Is On The Grid !  

My Boxer had an appointment this morning at the Desert Hills Animal Clinic for his routine quarterly blood test to test his “Titer” levels, or levels of antibodies in his blood against the Fungus which causes “Valley Fever.” The doctor acted more like a salesman than a vet (like usual), and was making sure he sold me as much as he could get away with. I went for the annual exam (mandatory apparently) since he hasn't had one in a year, and the valley fever titer blood test. As I was leaving and attempting to pay, he said “Oh, wait, when is the last time Diesel had his shots.” I replied that he had the records in his hand, he knows better than me. Of course, he was due for his Rabies, and Distemper blah blah shots. I should have went with my instinct and told him my dog dosen't believe in shots. But, you know I didn't want to look like that irresponsible dog owner who dosen't care about his health. Plus, I figured maybe the vaccine makers don't want to kill dogs as much as humans, so maybe the vaccines are legit.

Anyhow, they take him back and shoot him up with the poison, and bring him back to me. The doctor informs me that if the dog should swell due to the poision, feel free to bring him back so they can give him some more expensive poison to counteract the first poison. At that point I was already feeling guilty for poisoning my dog, and then they dropped the government hammer on me.

The cashier / receptionist handed me a dog license application, and I immediately stated that I have no use for that, and that my dog is a free spirit, and he dosen't need the governments permission to be my pet. The whole time the doctor was still standing at the counter. The receptionist then stated that since my dog Diesel had gotten his Rabies shot, the Maricopa County Animal Control would know he got it and know where to find me. The doctor piped in and stated that “He was required by law to rat out his clients and their animals once they get the Rabies vaccine.” He said Arizona is the only state he has worked in that mandates him to help the animal control generate cash on scam animal tags. The funny thing is that the Rabies vaccination certificate has my pet's state license number on it, and I didn't even apply for it. So, I suppose either

A) The vet logs into the animal control website and gets a number OR

B) The vet is assigned a batch of License numbers for their Rabies vaccines

Anyhow, I wasn't very happy to say the least. I didn't want to make a big scene in the vet's office, however, I will be writing them a letter expressing my dissapoval of their lack of communication prior to shooting up my dog, and informed them I will be disconinuing my patronage. They are under the false assumption that I am another sheep and will blindly and under force donate money to animal control under the guise of “Licensing” my pet. What they fail to understand is that some of their clients don't want to be tangled up in more government bureaucracy when they innoculate their pets. It's not that I don't have $20.00 to “License” my pet. The point is that I don't need and will never seek a government agencies permission to keep a dog, and I damn well won't pay them a dime.

I understand they need money to keep their shelter open and pick up strays and so on. However, I have already done my share. The two dog's I own were adopted, so I've already helped with the stray problem.

Unfortunately for Animal Control, the address the veterinarian will be submitting is my mailing address and not my physical address. C'mon I'm not that stupid. So, animal control can try to send me an invoice which won't get paid should they wish. The problem is that if they did find out my physical address, they would stumble upon not only one unlicensed dog named Diesel but god forbid three unlicensed off the grid dogs. The truth is that my dogs, or should I say the State's dogs that I call my own have been successfully living off the grid for years, and I don't plan to make them swallow the red pill anytime soon. They don't need to know the realities of life outside of their scheduled walks, and occasional swims in the pool.