OPINION


04-26-2010 

Found Zero
Un-official guide to trolling Freedoms Phoenix  
 
Trolls need to understand some of the standards we maintain. Freedoms Phoenix trollery should be publishable works in their own right. The bar for both authors and trolls is high. Oyate tells you how.

The art of trollery is diverse and can morph to appeal to a great range of audiences. You quickly find that one style might work on a certain board or faction but be quite ineffective for another. So this lesson has 3 basic components:
 
1. Know your target and custom-tailor your attack.
 
2. Understand your target's audience and how you might use trollery to turn cracks into chasms.
 
3. Spelling, grammar and sentance structure: now as much as ever.
 
See you guys are getting into advanced trollology but you don't have the basics down. Don't worry, I'm here to help and we all have to start somewhere.
 
So let's use some recent examples to illustrate. Let's start with number one: know your target and custom tailor your attack.
 
"Ernest hancock sucks" is a recent troll post. Now it's admirable in it's simplicity but know how many times libertarians have heard we suck over the years? If this great magical incantation worked on us we'd have been dead long ago. It just bounces right off us or even lets us know we're doing great. "You know you are over the target when you start getting flack".
 
A better way to insult Ernie is to place a logic-bomb in his road. Tell him he's a closet authoritarian. It will totally piss him off and thus probably get him to respond. See this wouldn't insult most people but it's calculated to get under Ernie's skin. Know your target.
 
Moving on to point 2: know your target's audience. I'll use my troll's example. They tried the high art of imitation, posting as Oyate and they were whipping out one-liners like "Mexicans shouldn't be here because it's unconstitutional".
 
OK, this is inconsistent with my usual logic, but very few people would say that logic is my main thing when I write. It would have played off. I do do one-liners sometimes but always jokes. When I write to make a point, I write A LOT. Nobody will believe Oyate can say anything under 500 words. Thus the trollery simply lacked credibilty to the audience.
 
If the troll had took time to study this, they could have just extended or fleshed out the trollery and used anything as filler. Mythology, etymology, endomorphology, you can just make up words when you are Oyate, you get total creative lattitude, just about anything atall. And the troll would have gained credibilty as Oyate and diluted the Oyate message. If such a thing is possible.
 
But for the record, calling Oyate a racist, you got under my skin. That pissed me off. Score one for you! Do we high-five, belly-bop or kill one another now? You make the call.
 
OK point 3. A lot of people who read and publish to FP have advanced degrees. Some very intelligent and highly trained minds. But even with all this advanced learning, many of them don't read trollese. So try to take a moment and organize your thoughts. Try to think in terms of the logical flow of your argument and then break that down into ideas and then create sentences, one at a time, that express those ideas. Put periods at the end of each sentence and capitalize the leading letter of each sentence. Then organize the sentences into paragraphs. Run it through spell-check and you are done. It's not my strong suit but I work at it.
 
A way to think about organizing thoughts into paragraphs, think of introduction, body, conclusion. Tell them what you are gonna tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them. That's how I'm organizing this article.
 
Seriously, what's the point of trolling if nobody can understand what you are saying? I'll trust you know what I'm talking about, no need for an example this time.
 
Well I hope you learned some basics in trolling. For real-life references, if you want to see pro-level trolling just look at Hodges' stuff (hybrid statist/socialist), Frosty's stuff (universalist humanitarian) or my stuff (pretty freaking psycho) because why any of us gets published here is a constant source of mystification to me. But we're not just trolls, we're CREDENTIALED trolls. I'm a proud FP troll. The look I get at Phoenix patriot gatherings when I introduce myself can only be explained as "oh no, that guy". And you see their eyes dart back and forth as they wonder how they will escape me and not have to go through lampooning in print.
 
But there you go. If you are gonna troll here you have to apply yourself. Put some pride in your work product. Work on the basics: know your target, know your target's audience and make it intelligible. Then advance the craft of trollery by imitation, duplication, multi-vector attacks, Hegelian dialictic and diamond-tactic, all that 2.0 stuff. Impress us. Show us something new. Then you pile all your stuff into a book, go on the talk-show circuit and get rich. You can do it if you work at it.
 
Troll ya later!