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John Semmens
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John Semmens has been writing political satire from a libertarian/conservative perspective since 2005. Readers have favorably compared his work to that of Jonathan Swift, calling it "better than the Onion," "positively, freakin' brilliant," and "great and brutally honest satire." An archive of some of his past work can be found at  

Current Columns and Articles

2019-12-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-14-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 15, 2019 Edition 
   Nadler Says Elections "Unreliable" House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) rejected arguments that we should allow the upcoming 2020 election to decide who will be president. "Elections are unreliable," Nadler said. "We al
Send Letter to Editor
2019-12-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-14-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 15, 2019 Edition 
   Nadler Says Elections "Unreliable" House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) rejected arguments that we should allow the upcoming 2020 election to decide who will be president. "Elections are unreliable," Nadler said. "We al
Send Letter to Editor
2019-12-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-07-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 8, 2019 Edition 
   Pelosi Compares Clinton and Trump Impeachments House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) contrasted "the unwarranted impeachment of President Clinton" with "the need to remove the most dangerous man to ever hold the office. Granted, Clinton behav
Send Letter to Editor
2019-11-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-30-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 1, 2019 Edition 
   Bloomberg Defends Tax Hikes on the Poor Seeking to differentiate himself from what he derided as "the lunatics leading the pack of Democrats trying to become the next president by offering boatloads of free stuff," former New York City Mayor M
Send Letter to Editor
2019-11-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-23-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 24, 2019 Edition 
   New Dem Prez Candidate Triples Support in One Week What some observers saw as a bad sign for his newly announced bid to become the Democratic Party's 2020 presidential nominee, former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick saw as "an encouraging start
Send Letter to Editor
2019-11-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-16-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 17, 2019 Edition 
   Trump Rule on Heath Care Pricing Assailed This week the the Trump Administration's Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announced new rules requiring insurers and hospitals to inform patients of the cost of 300 common procedures and tests
Send Letter to Editor
2019-11-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-08-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 10, 2019 Edition 
   Biden Says State Dept Emails Prove Son's Value to Burisma Democratic presidential contender former Vice-President Joe Biden glommed onto recently revealed email correspondence within the US State Department during 2016 as "proof my son's work on
Send Letter to Editor
2019-11-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-01-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 3, 2019 Edition 
   Warren's Free Health Care for All Plan Costs $52 Trillion This week, Democratic presidential contender Sen. Elizabeth Warren unveiled her much-touted "free health care for all" plan. The estimated ten-year cost of $52 trillion will be entirely
Send Letter to Editor
2019-10-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-26-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 27, 2019 Edition 
   Impeachment Junta Cries Foul The two Congressional Democrats conducting the secret trial of President Trump denounced Attorney General William Barr's decision to open a criminal investigation of the origins of the FBI/Obama Administration's effo
Send Letter to Editor
2019-10-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-18-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 20, 2019 Edition 
   Trump Admin Looking at Motel 6 for G-7 Summit A leak from inside the White House indicates that the Trump Administration is considering holding next June's G-7 Summit at a Motel 6 in Newark, New Jersey. The leak alleges that President Trump expres
Send Letter to Editor
2019-10-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-11-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 13, 2019 Edition 
   NBA Distances Itself from Hong Kong Protesters This week, the National Basketball Association (NBA) took steps to try to distance itself from a tweet by the Houston Rockets' general manager Daryl Morey. In his tweet, Morey urged "Fight for Freed
Send Letter to Editor
2019-10-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-04-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 6, 2019 Edition 
   Dems Assail Scrutiny of Their Business Dealings Revelations that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's son, like former Vice-President Joe Biden's son, had a cozy deal with a Ukrainian oil company bolstered her determination to press ahead with impeachment
Send Letter to Editor
2019-09-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-27-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 29, 2019 Edition 
   NY Mayor Takes Hard Line on "Illegal Aliens" Now that he has dropped out of the race for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is free to indulge in his favorite pastime--shafting the citizens and res
Send Letter to Editor
2019-09-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-20-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 22, 2019 Edition 
   Candidate Comes Out Against Meat and Autos In a bid to outflank his Democratic presidential rivals, entrepreneur Andrew Yang vowed to "severely curtail the consumption of meat" and "do away with privately owned and operated automobiles."
Send Letter to Editor
2019-09-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-13-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 15, 2019 Edition 
   Highlights of the September Dem Presidential Debate Further evidence that the roster of competitors for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination has no worthy candidates was exhibited as ten contenders offered their insane and tyrannical policy
Send Letter to Editor
2019-09-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-06-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 8, 2019 Edition 
   CNN Climate Debate Publicizes Democrats' Dictatorial Impulses The 7-hour marathon Democrat town hall on climate change broadcast by CNN gave free rein to the worst impulses of the presidential contenders who participated. Even those who couldn't p
Send Letter to Editor
2019-08-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-30-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 1, 2019 Edition 
   Kerry Announces Potential Deal with Iran This week, former Secretary of State for the Obama Administration John Kerry announced that he has negotiated a deal to reduce tensions between Iran and the United States. "It was tough going," Kerry
Send Letter to Editor
2019-08-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-23-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 25, 2019 Edition 
   Buttigieg Blames Trump for Mental Illness Democratic presidential candidate, South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg latched on to what he characterized as "the irony of Trump's insistence that mental illness is the key source of mass shootings when it
Send Letter to Editor
2019-08-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-10-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 11, 2019 Edition 
   Castro Defends Doxxing Trump Supporters This week, Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-Tex), campaign manager for presidential candidate former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julian Castro, tweeted the names and places of employment for 44 San Anto
Send Letter to Editor
2019-08-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-02-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 4, 2019 Edition 
   NY Bans Arming Teachers Despite a study by the Crime Prevention Research Center showing that nearly 90% of the mass shootings in America occur in "gun-free zones," the New York legislature has just enacted a law that bans schools from allowing
Send Letter to Editor
2019-07-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-20-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 21, 2019 Edition 
   Kerry Hails Iran's Seizures in Gulf While much of the world seems to regard Iran's seizing of ships near the Straits of Hormuz as"troubling," former US Secretary of State John Kerry called these actions "gratifying. I've been advising the go
Send Letter to Editor
2019-07-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-12-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 14, 2019 Edition 
   Mueller Testimony Delayed It looks like Special counsel Robert Mueller's testimony before Congress will not take place on July 17 as originally planned. House Judiciary Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) is trying to get Mueller to appear before his
Send Letter to Editor
2019-07-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-05-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 7, 2019 Edition 
   Biden Promises to Fight for the Presidency Smarting from assessments that he lost the first debate of the 2020 presidential campaign, former Vice-President Joe Biden offered to "roll up my sleeves and fight for the right to lead this country. Yo
Send Letter to Editor
2019-06-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-29-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 30, 2019 Edition 
   Dems Promise Free Health Care for All As candidate after candidate insisted that health care is a human right, the entire field of 2020 Democratic presidential contenders found themselves unable to exclude any human being from the enjoyment of thi
Send Letter to Editor
2019-06-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-21-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 23, 2019 Edition 
   Dem Senators Want to Restore Pre-Trump Economy Determined to undo what they called "the wrenching changes inflicted on America by Trump's tax cuts," Sens. Ron Wyden (D-OR) and Chris Van Hollen (D-MD) are proposing a "Long-Term Unemployment A
Send Letter to Editor
2019-06-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-15-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 16, 2019 Edition 
   Calif Dem Wants Felons on Juries California State Senator Nancy Skinner (D-Berkeley) has introduced legislation (SB 310) that would put convicted felons on juries. Current law bars ex-cons from serving on juries--a practice that Skinner calls "
Send Letter to Editor
2019-06-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-07-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 9, 2019 Edition 
   Moscow Belittles D-Day Significance Miffed by the attention being paid to the heroes of the 1944 Allied sea-borne assault on Nazi-held France, Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova called the D-Day event "relatively insignificant
Send Letter to Editor
2019-05-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-31-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 2, 2019 Edition  
   Dem Signals Support for Secret Police Alarmed by the Department of Justice probe into the intelligence community's spying on the Trump campaign and presidency, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif) urged Director of National
Send Letter to Editor
2019-05-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-24-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 26, 2019 Edition 
   Dems Rail Against Barr Investigation President Trump's decision to give Attorney General William Barr a free hand in determining which documents related to the intelligence community's covert operation to take down the Trump Administration can be
Send Letter to Editor
2019-05-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-18-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 19, 2019 Edition 
   Presidential Candidates Compete to Promise Most "Free Stuff" This week, the number of announced Democratic presidential contenders reached 23. The crowded field left many desperate to generate interest in their candidacies. Front-runner, forme
Send Letter to Editor
2019-05-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-10-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 12, 2019 Edition 
   Dem Wants to Revive Star Chamber Court Frustrated with the unsatisfactory results of the Mueller Report, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) wants to initiate Congressional trials for members of the Trump Admini
Send Letter to Editor
2019-05-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-03-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 5, 2019 Edition  
   Dems Demand Copy of Unredacted Mueller Report Despite the fact that the copy of the Special Counsel's released to the public shows less than 10% was redacted and despite the fact that a completely unredacted copy is available for key members of Co
Send Letter to Editor
2019-04-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-26-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 28, 2019 Edition 
   Brennan Defends Conspiracy Against Trump Former CIA Director John Brennan rebutted President Trump's characterization of the actions of a deep-state cabal to try to prevent his election and undermine his presidency as "an attempted coup."
Send Letter to Editor
2019-04-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-20-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 21, 2019 Edition  
   Swalwell Defends Secret Surveillance of Trump Now that the lengthy and expensive Mueller investigation has failed to find any evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians, Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) still defends the origina
Send Letter to Editor
2019-04-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-12-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 14, 2019 Edition  
  
Send Letter to Editor
2019-04-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-05-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 7, 2019 Edition  
   Islamic Activist Defends Attacks on Jews Women's March leader Linda Sarsour rallied to the defense of Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), who has been criticized for mouthing stereotypical tropes about the evil influence of Jewish money in politics.
Send Letter to Editor
2019-03-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-29-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 31, 2019 Edition 
   Smollett Exonerated by State Attorney Hoaxer Jussie Smollett announced his exoneration after Kim Foxx, State Attorney for Cook County, Illinois dismissed all charges against him. "The racist persecution of me by the Chicago Police Department has
Send Letter to Editor
2019-03-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-23-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 24, 2019 Edition 
   Dems Want $100 Million to Deal With Street Defecation Reps. Barbara Lee (D-Calif) and Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn) are proposing a federal grant program that would provide $100 million per year to cities to fund diapers. "As we have seen, many of ou
Send Letter to Editor
2019-03-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-15-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 17, 2019 Edition 
   Admitted Thief Throws Hat in Race for Dem Presidential Nomination This week, Robert "Beto" O'Rourke, the Kennedyesque former Texas Democrat Representative and failed Senate candidate, changed course and declared he will run for his Party's nom
Send Letter to Editor
2019-03-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-08-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 10, 2019 Edition 
   Unable to cobble together a majority of her Party willing to vote for a resolution condemning the repeated anti-Semitic propaganda issuing forth from Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) was able to get an insipid statement opposi
Send Letter to Editor
2019-03-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-01-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 3, 2019 Edition 
   Biden Apologizes for Calling VP Pence "Decent" Caving to left-wing criticism, former Vice-President Joe Biden apologized for calling current Vice-President Mike Pence "a decent guy." The criticism focused on two key complaints. First, actr
Send Letter to Editor
2019-02-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-23-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 24, 2019 Edition 
   Smollett Hoax Excused This week, Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson announced that actor Jussie Smollett's claim that two Trump supporters assaulted him after his January 29th 2 A.M. run to Subway for a tuna sandwich was a hoax. "Sus
Send Letter to Editor
2019-02-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-15-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 17, 2019 Edition 
   Trump's Border Emergency Called "Unlawful" Given Congress' provision of only a small token appropriation of $1.4 billion to fund a mere 55 miles of border barriers, President Trump used his constitutional designation as Commander-in-Chief of t
Send Letter to Editor
2019-02-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-09-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 10, 2019 Edition 
   Green New Deal: Time Travel to the Past This week the lunatic caucus of the Democratic Party unveiled its touted "Green New Deal" plan to save the planet. Key features of the plan include putting an end to air travel, eliminating meat from the
Send Letter to Editor
2019-02-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-01-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 3, 2019 Edition 
   Decline in Shark Attacks Assailed The latest report from the International Shark Attack File indicates that shark attacks on humans in 2018 declined by more than 20% from 2017 figures. Director of the Florida Museum of Natural History's shark re
Send Letter to Editor
2019-01-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-25-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 27, 2019 Edition 
   CNN Reporters' Latest Delusions CNN's chief White House correspondent Jim Acosta says he is writing a book about his sufferings under the evil Trump regime. "The gist of the story follows my heroic efforts to bring the truth to the American p
Send Letter to Editor
2019-01-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-18-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 20, 2019 Edition 
   Trump Reversal of Obama School Discipline Policy Harms Minorities The Trump Administration's intention to eliminate the "racially balanced" regulations promulgated by former President Obama's "Dear Colleague Letter" was condemned by former
Send Letter to Editor
2019-01-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-11-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 13, 2019 Edition 
   Black Caucus Demands Course Correction for US Rep. Karen Bass (D-Calif), chairperson of the 55-member Congressional Black Caucus (CBC), the most numerous in our nation's history, has set the Caucus' sights on "reversing the trauma inflicted on p
Send Letter to Editor
2019-01-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-04-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 6, 2019 Edition 
   Pelosi Says Building Border Wall Immoral Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) stood by her pledge to "not appropriate a single dollar for a border wall" contending that "building such a wall would be immoral." "Look, building a
Send Letter to Editor
2019-01-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-01-2019 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: Best of 2018, Part 3 
   MSNBC Panel Agrees "Trump Supporters Are Selfish" A panel hosted by MSNBC anchor Stephanie Ruhle unanimously agreed that Trump supporters, unlike those who oppose him, are "selfish." Ruhle set the tone, saying that "the morally reprehens
Send Letter to Editor
2018-12-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-28-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 30, 2018 Edition 
   Special Counsel to Implement a "Nude Selfie" Strategy Robert Mueller, the Special Counsel appointed to investigate possible collusion between the Trump presidential campaign and Russia, has opened a new front after discovering a "nude selfie
Send Letter to Editor
2018-12-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-21-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 23, 2018 Edition 
   Planned Parenthood Explains Policy Toward Pregnant Employees A New York Times story describing the organization's discrimination toward pregnant employees was dismissed by Planned Parenthood's management. Newly appointed president Leana Wen explai
Send Letter to Editor
2018-12-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-14-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 16, 2018 Edition 
   Comey Defends Actions Against Trump Fired FBI Director James Comey followed up his amnesiac performance in his testimony before House Judiciary and Oversight committees with a bit of self-congratulatory boasting about his cleverness. "While I
Send Letter to Editor
2018-12-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-07-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 9, 2018 Edition 
   Ocasio-Cortez Vows to Get Revenge on Trump Jr. Newly elected Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-MY) vowed to "mete out sweet revenge" in response to Donald Trump Jr. sharing a meme predicting that if her socialist views are implemented Americans
Send Letter to Editor
2018-11-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-30-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 2, 2018 Edition 
   CNN Cites "Oppression" of Caravan as "Impeachable Offense" According to CNN's Jim Acosta, the revelation that persons in the United States illegally are entitled to more than $40,000 a year in federal benefits "casts a sinister light on
Send Letter to Editor
2018-11-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-23-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 25, 2018 Edition 
   Clinton Calls for Tough Talk on Immigration This past week, former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned European politicians that "the lack of tough-sounding rhetoric regarding immigrants and refugees has paved the way for right-wing pop
Send Letter to Editor
2018-11-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-16-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 18, 2018 Edition 
   Dems in Georgia Weigh Election "Do Over" After all the post-election massaging of ballots failed to produce a victory for Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacy Abrams, the Party was considering demanding that the courts order a "do over.
Send Letter to Editor
2018-11-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-09-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 11, 2018 Edition 
   Broward County Official Defends Violating Law In the wake of closely contested races for Senator and Governor, Broward County Elections Supervisor Brenda Snipes sought to defend violating state election laws. Under state law each county is require
Send Letter to Editor
2018-11-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-02-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 4, 2018 Edition 
   "Experts" Say GOP Ad Featuring Cop Killer Unfair The unveiling of a new GOP TV ad featuring Luis Bracamontes, an illegal immigrant who was convicted of killing two California deputies in 2014, was declared "unfair" by what the media descri
Send Letter to Editor
2018-10-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-27-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 28, 2018 Edition 
   A Few "Not Crazy Democrats" Appeal to Voters With polls showing a close race with her Republican challenger Josh Hawley, Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo) launched a campaign ad aimed at persuading voters that she is "not one of those crazy Democ
Send Letter to Editor
2018-10-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-19-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 21, 2018 Edition 
   Hillary Mulling Another Run for Office Former Clinton aide Philippe Reines says the twice unsuccessful presidential candidate is "seriously considering running against Trump in 2020. On the one hand, she's really disappointed in how voters treat
Send Letter to Editor
2018-10-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-12-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 14, 2018 Edition 
   Dems Vow Incivility Until They Are Returned to Power This week twice-failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton urged the Democratic mob to continue their efforts to intimidate and harass the Party's opponents "until Democrats are restored to
Send Letter to Editor
2018-10-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-05-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 7, 2018 Edition 
   Dem Senators Reject Results of Investigation They Demanded After reaching an agreement with Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Az) to a one-week FBI effort to corroborate the testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford alleging that somewhere at some time during her t
Send Letter to Editor
2018-09-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-28-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 30, 2018 Edition 
   Dems Warn GOP on Kavanaugh Confirmation This week, Brian Fallon, former press secretary on Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign, warned Republicans not to confirm Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court, saying "they will pay dea
Send Letter to Editor
2018-09-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-21-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 23, 2018 Edition 
   Rosenstein Blasts Times' "Smear" This week, a New York Times story about a scheme in which Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein would wear a "wire" to secretly record President Trump and recruit cabinet members to activate Trump's remova
Send Letter to Editor
2018-09-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-15-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 16, 2018 Edition 
   Trump Worse than bin Laden This week, MSNBC's Joe Scarborough asserted that "President Trump is a far graver threat to America than the 9/11 attacks. The terrorists only killed a few thousand people, but Trump has poisoned the minds of tens of
Send Letter to Editor
2018-09-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-08-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 9, 2018 Edition 
   Abortion the Great Equalizer Former president of Planned Parenthood Gloria Feldt told a Cornell University audience that "abortion gives women an equal seat at life's table. Putting all of the burden of child-bearing and birthing on women viol
Send Letter to Editor
2018-09-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-01-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 2, 2018 Edition 
   Candidate Calls for Free Health Care for Illegals Former San Francisco Mayor and current Democratic candidate for governor of California Gavin Newsome has pledged to make health care free for all illegal immigrants if he wins in November. "When
Send Letter to Editor
2018-08-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-24-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 26, 2018 Edition 
   "No Crime Required for Impeachment" Dem Says This week's "plea bargain" in which former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen confessed to the non-crime of paying "hush money" to two women alleging trysts with Donald Trump more than ten years ago
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2018-08-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-17-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 19, 2018 Edition 
   Senator Introduces "Accountable Capitalism Act" Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) is sponsoring legislation that would negate the control of corporate shareholders and transfer authority to government. Her bill--the "Accountable Capitalism Act
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2018-08-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-02-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 5, 2018 Edition  
   NY Times Hires Racist Editorial Writer The New York Times announced it is adding Sarah Jeong to its editorial board. Ms. Jeong is noted for her anti-white animus that has been expressed in tweets like "how much joy I get out of being cruel to ol
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2018-07-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-27-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 29, 2018 Edition 
   Senator Depressed Over Second Quarter GDP Numbers The announcement that the US economy grew by 4.1% for the recently completed quarter sent Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) into a fit of nearly suicidal depression. "If this keeps up it will reverse all t
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2018-07-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-20-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 22, 2018 Edition 
  
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2018-07-14
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-14-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 15, 2018 Edition 
   Strzok Claims Undermining Trump "Patriotic Duty" Peter Strzok, the FBI agent at the center of the the agency's conspiracy to torpedo the Trump presidential campaign and the back-up plan to reverse the election outcome, told members of the join
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2018-07-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-06-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 8, 2018 Edition 
   Possible Troop Withdrawals Rattle Globalist Lobby As of now, there are 60,000 US troops stationed in Europe. Pentagon evaluation of potentially withdrawing "some of them" has the globalist lobby on edge. An article published by McClatchy headl
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2018-06-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-29-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 1, 2018 Edition 
   Dems Bewail "Lack of Proper Gay Pride Celebration" at Pentagon A letter to Defense Secretary James Mattis from House Armed Services Committee Democrats Reps. Anthony Brown (Md), Robert Brady (Pa), Susan Davis (Calif), Jackie Speier (Calif), Be
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2018-06-22
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-22-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 24, 2018 Edition 
   McCain Colluded with IRS to Target Conservatives In documents recently released under the Freedom of Information Act, Judicial Watch found that Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) was actively colluding with the IRS to harm the TEA Party groups that he mendac
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2018-06-16
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-16-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 17, 2018 Edition 
   Comey Says IG Report Exonerates Him After a thorough reading of the summary section of the Department of Justice Inspector General's Report, former FBI Director James Comey announced that "it clears me of all potential charges. I respect the DOJ
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2018-06-09
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-09-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 10, 2018 Edition 
   Dems Object to Financial Oversight of Special Counsel This week, by a vote of 207-201, the US House of Representatives approved a measure requiring a semi-annual audit of how Special Counsel Robert Mueller is spending the taxpayers' money. Thus fa
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2018-06-01
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-01-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 3, 2018 Edition 
   "Devastating" Federal Payroll Cut News that the Trump Administration has eliminated 24,000 federal government jobs was described as "devastating" by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif). The cut amounts to less than 1% of the total
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2018-05-26
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-26-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 27, 2018 Edition 
   Media Labels Trump Complaint About FBI Spying "False" NBC, a mainstream media ally of the government intelligence conspiracy to undermine the Trump campaign and administration, has labeled the President's characterization of this covert operat
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2018-05-19
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-19-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 20, 2018 Edition 
   Operation Crossfire Hurricane Exposed The Obama Administration's Director of National Intelligence James Clapper called the CIA's and FBI's covert and illegal spying on the Trump campaign and administration "fully justified. With a threat as pal
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2018-05-11
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-11-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 13, 2018 Edition 
   Donations to Inaugural Called "Suspicious" by Mueller Special Counsel Robert Mueller is now probing what he called "a suspicious pattern of donations flowing in to fund President Trump's inaugural celebration. Donors from Russia, Saudi Arabi
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2018-05-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-04-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 6, 2018 Edition 
   FBI Claims Powers to Conduct Secret Investigations, Lie & Intimidate This week in the case against former Trump associate Paul Manafort, Special Counsel Robert Mueller argued that U.S. District Judge T.S. Ellis's complaint that he was lied to "e
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2018-04-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-27-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 29, 2018 Edition 
   NHS Insists Alfie Must Die The saga of ailing toddler Alfie Evans has thoroughly discredited the United Kingdom's National Health Service. According to the NHS, Alfie's death "would be best for all concerned." His parents' efforts to prevent t
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2018-04-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-20-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 22, 2018 Edition 
   McCabe Sues Trump for "Wrongful Termination" Fired for "lack of candor," former deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe is set to sue the Trump administration for "wrongful termination." Michael Bromwich, McCabe's lawyer, cited former FBI Di
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2018-04-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-13-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 15, 2018 Edition 
   Comey's "Tell All" Book Published The "tell all" book written by James Comey, the FBI Director fired by Trump on the advice of FBI Deputy Director Rod Rosenstein in May of 2017, was released to reviewers this week and will be released to t
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2018-04-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-06-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 8, 2018 Edition 
   Mexico Threatens to End Cooperation Against Violent Gangs Irked at the prospect that President Trump may send US troops to guard the border against illegal immigration, the Mexican Senate unanimously passed a resolution that would end the bilatera
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2018-03-31
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-31-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 1, 2018 Edition  
   Clinton Offers Proof that Trump Is Hurting Economy As proof that Trump's policies are bad for the dynamic sectors of the economy that prospered under Obama, former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton cited her drastically reduced speaking fees.
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2018-03-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-24-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 25, 2018 Edition 
   Omnibus Bill: Dems Declare Victory This week, Congress appropriated $1.3 trillion in spending to fund the federal government for the next six months. Despite threatening to veto the measure, President Trump signed it "for national security reaso
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2018-03-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-17-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 18, 2018 Edition 
   Job Openings Hit New Record This week the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that job openings increased to a record 6.3 million. The number of openings now equals the number of currently unemployed Americans. House Minority Leader Nancy Pe
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2018-03-09
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-09-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 11, 2018 Edition 
   Schools Struggle with Religious Intolerance Contrasting styles of how to cope with differing religions in schools were demonstrated recently in Massachusetts and Germany. In Massachusetts librarians at Simmons College in Boston issued The Anti-
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2018-03-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-02-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 4, 2018 Edition 
   Mueller Investigating Trump's Complaints About Sessions President Trump's repeated expressions of his dissatisfaction with Attorney General Jeff Sessions' job performance is said to have opened a new avenue of investigation for Special Counsel Rob
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2018-02-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-24-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 25, 2018 Edition 
   Senator Says Cowardice of Armed School Officer Disproves "Good Guy with a Gun" Theory The revelation that the site of the most recent school massacre had an armed police officer assigned to the school "disproves the conservative contention t
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2018-02-16
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-16-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 18, 2018 Edition 
   FBI Whiffs on School Shooting This week, Nikolas Cruz killed 17 and wounded another 13 in an assault on the students and faculty of Marjory Stoneman High School in Parkland, Florida. By law, the school is a designated "gun free zone." This ens
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2018-02-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-10-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 11, 2018 Edition 
   Dem Explains Why FBI Abuses Not Worse than Watergate With evidence piling up that the FBI abused the FISA court process to spy on the Trump campaign, comparison to the 1972 Nixon campaign's effort to spy on his Democratic opponent's campaign have
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2018-02-03
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-03-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 4, 2018 Edition 
   Opinions Split on Memo Exposing FBI Abuses The release of the House Intelligence Committee memo summarizing FBI abuses of its surveillance authority sparked differing reactions across the political spectrum. The gist of the Agency's crime is that
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2018-01-26
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-26-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 28, 2018 Edition 
   Dems Reject President's DACA Proposal The Trump proposal to extend a path to citizenship for 1.8 illegal immigrants brought to the United States as children was assailed by key Democrats this week. Senate Minority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill) calle
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2018-01-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-20-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 21, 2018 Edition 
   Senator Calls Trump "Stalinesque" This week, Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Az) compared President Trump to notorious Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin in a speech he gave to fellow Senators Dick Durbin (D-Ill) and Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn) in the Senate. Dur
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2018-01-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-13-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 14, 2018 Edition 
   Senator Illegally Releases Classified Testimony This week, Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-Calif) illegally released classified testimony given by Fusion GPS co-founder Glenn Simpson to the Senate Judiciary Committee. At first, she blamed "a bad head co
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2018-01-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-13-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 14, 2018 Edition 
   Senator Illegally Releases Classified Testimony This week, Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-Calif) illegally released classified testimony given by Fusion GPS co-founder Glenn Simpson to the Senate Judiciary Committee. At first, she blamed "a bad head co
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2018-01-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-05-2018 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 7, 2018 Edition 
   Singer Says Trump Tax Cuts "Unfair" This week, retired singer Barbra Streisand took to Twitter to vent against the recently passed tax cuts saying that "blue states, athletes, actors, writers, producers, and directors will be punished by thi
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2017-12-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-29-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 31, 2017 Edition 
   CNN Analysts Clash This week, CNN legal analyst Paul Callan acknowledged that Republican concerns about the objectivity of the FBI investigating alleged collusion are justified. "I started out angry at the aspersions being cast upon this venerat
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2017-12-22
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-22-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 24, 2017 Edition 
   This week, Congress passed and President Trump signed the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act. The measure reduces taxes on corporations from 35% to 21% and on 80% of taxpaying individuals by smaller percentages. Democratic rhetoric attacking the the legislation p
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2017-12-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-15-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 17, 2017 Edition 
   Exempting Anyone from Funding Abortions "Unconstitutional" In an op ed for the left-wing Sacramento Bee, Crystal Strait, president of Planned Parenthood Affiliates of California, blasted the Trump Administration's rollback of an Obama policy m
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2017-12-09
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-09-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 10, 2017 Edition 
   House Hearing Reveals Pattern of Bias in FBI In FBI Director Christopher Wray's testimony before a House committee earlier this week it became apparent that the FBI exhibited a pattern of inconsistent treatment and bias in the way the agency has h
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2017-12-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-02-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 3, 2017 Edition 
   Juror Explains Verdict in Murder Trial This week, Jose Ines Garcia Zarate, the man who shot and killed Kate Steinle in 2015, was acquitted of all homicide-related charges (murder, manslaughter, negligent homicide) by a San Francisco jury. The sole
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2017-11-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-24-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 26, 2017 Edition 
   Congressman Claims Constitutional Immunity Arnold Reed, attorney for Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich), asserted a claim of "constitutional immunity" in a bid to shield the congressman from charges that he wrongfully spent $27,000 in public monies to
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2017-11-18
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-18-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 19, 2017 Edition 
   Senator Seeks Meeting with FBI Informant A lawyer representing Sen. Diane Feinstein (Calif)"the top Democrat on the Senate Judiciary Committee"requested the opportunity to meet privately with former FBI informant, William Campbell. Campbell he
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2017-11-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-10-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 12, 2017 Edition 
   Republicans Call for Moore to End Senate Run The Washington Post's publication of allegations that Judge Roy Moore, the GOP candidate for Alabama's open senate seat, made improper sexual advances toward teen-age women in 1979 sparked calls for him
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2017-11-03
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-03-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 5, 2017 Edition 
  
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2017-10-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-27-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 29, 2017 Edition 
   Salacious Smear of Trump Funded by Dems After a year of trying to hype the Fusion GPS "dossier" on Donald Trump into alleged "proof" of his illicit collusion with Russia the Democrats have seen the escapade backfire big time. An expose in
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2017-10-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-20-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 22, 2017 Edition 
   Schumer Advises Red-State Dems to Hide Views on Guns Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) advised Party colleagues facing a tough reelection fight in states carried by Trump last November to mute criticism of gun ownership ahead of the 20
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2017-10-14
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-14-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 15, 2017 Edition 
   Presidential Library Won't Include Obama Documents The Obama Presidential Library revealed that it won't be providing any original documents written by Obama. Instead of having the former president's manuscripts, documents and letters from his t
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2017-10-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-06-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 8, 2017 Edition 
   Serial Sexual Harasser Sees Right-Wing Conspiracy Hollywood big shot Harvey Weinstein took a hint from his good friend Hillary Clinton and blamed a vast right-wing conspiracy for a recent New York Times article detailing his long history as a seri
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2017-09-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-29-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 1, 2017 Edition 
   Dems Assail Trump's NFL Comments President Trump's objection to NFL players refusing to stand for the playing of the National Anthem prior to the start of their football games spurred outrage among assorted Democrats. Democratic Coalition chair
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2017-09-23
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-23-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 24, 2017 Edition 
   MSNBC Scoffs at Idea Media Favored Clinton in Election The host of MSNBC's "Morning Joe" news and commentary show--Joe Scarborough--defended defeated presidential candidate Hillary Clinton's claim that a "hostile media" was a significant
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2017-09-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-15-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 17, 2017 Edition 
   Sweden Adopts Stern Response to Country's Rape Epidemic Now that the influx of Muslim refugees into the country has catapulted Sweden to the top of the international heap when it comes to the crime of rape, government officials have determined it
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2017-09-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-08-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 10, 2017 Edition 
   Menendez Trial Raises Thorny Issues Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ) and his "campaign donor" Salomon Melgen are currently on trial for political corruption--the Senator for taking bribes and Melgren for paying them. Menendez argues that the "br
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2017-09-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-02-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 3, 2017 Edition 
   Wasserman-Schultz Henchman Asks for More Travel Latitude Former House of Representatives IT aide Imran Awan petitioned a federal court asking that the GPS ankle bracelet he was ordered to wear as part of his non-incarceration confinement while awa
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2017-08-25
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-25-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 27, 2017 Edition 
   rump Blamed for Violence Against Media Assorted media spokespersons have pointed the finger of blame at President Trump for incidents of violence that have endangered members of their profession in various locations since he became president. Jim
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2017-08-11
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-11-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 13, 2017 Edition 
   Congresswoman Has Plan to Avert War with North Korea Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif) has a simple plan for deescalating tensions between the US and North Korea: "give them what they want." she acknowledged that "we may not know specifically wha
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2017-08-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-04-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 6, 2017 Edition  
   "Legacy" Legislation to Honor McCain Proposed Fresh off his crucial vote to kill the repeal of Obamacare, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) is now working with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) to craft what McCain called "a fitting legacy t
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2017-07-28
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-28-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 30, 2017 Edition 
   McCain Kills GOP Health Care Bill Just days after receiving brain surgery to remove a malignant tumor, Sen. John McCain (R-Az) returned to the senate in time to cast his vote killing the so-called "skinny" repeal of Obamacare. McCain joined fe
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2017-07-21
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-21-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 23, 2017 Edition 
   Freedom Caucus Move on Health Insurance Assailed This week the "repeal and replace" health insurance bill crafted by the Republican leadership failed to garner enough support to be put to a vote. Rep. Tom Garret (R-VA), along with other Freedo
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2017-07-14
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-14-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 16, 2017 Edition 
   Study Shows Twitter Was Key to Trump Win A study from the University of Edinburgh analyzed 50 viral election-related tweets over the 68 days preceding last November's presidential election and concluded that Trump's campaign had a significant edge
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2017-07-07
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-07-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 9, 2017 Edition 
   Trump Speech Defending "Western Values" Denounced President Trump's defense of "western values" in his speech in Poland this week was condemned by a pair of left-wing magazines. The New Republic's Jeet Heer called it "a paean to white gr
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2017-06-30
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-30-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 2, 2017 Edition 
   Dems Vow to Obstruct Vote Fraud Investigation Efforts by the Presidential Advisory Commission on Election Integrity to obtain data that could provide evidence on whether vote fraud has occurred are being blocked by key Democratic officials at the
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2017-06-23
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-23-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 25, 2017 Edition 
   Johnson Says DNC Refused DHS Help This week, former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson testified before the House Intelligence Committee. Johnson became the latest former Obama Administration official to verify that there is no
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2017-06-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-17-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 18, 2017 Edition 
   Mueller Expands Staff In the wake of former FBI Director James Comey's admission that there is no evidence of collusion between Trump and the Russians to rig last year's presidential election, independent counsel Robert Mueller has initiated a maj
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2017-06-09
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-09-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 11, 2017 Edition 
   Comey Testifies This week, Former FBI Director James Comey testified before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Thursday. While he confirmed that there is no evidence of any wrongdoing by Trump, he raised the issue of "whether a person so creep
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2017-06-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-02-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 4, 2017 Edition 
   Pullout from Paris Climate Accord Widely Denounced This week, President Trump announced that the United States is pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord. The move was widely denounced. Former President Barack Obama, who unilaterally committed
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2017-05-26
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-26-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 28, 2017 Edition 
   Democrat Enraged Over Revived Interest in Rich Murder Long-time Democratic Party operative John Podesta proclaimed former House Speaker Newt Ginrich's speculation that DNC staffer Seth Rich may have been assassinated "disgusting." "After
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2017-05-19
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-19-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 21, 2017 Edition 
   Media Assails Trump's "Witch Hunt" Accusation President Donald Trump's accusation that the media have subjected him to "the worst witch hunt ever experienced by an American politician" was assailed by NBC's Lester Holt as "wrong in so
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2017-05-12
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-12-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 14, 2017 Edition 
   Controversy Over Comey Dismissal This week President Donald Trump fired FBI Director James Comey. Democrats who previously had called for Comey's departure denounced the move. Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn), Vice Chairman of the Democratic Nationa
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2017-05-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-05-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 7, 2017 Edition 
   GOP Health Care Bill Called "Death Sentence for Millions" The House passage of the American Health Care Act, the GOP's alternative to Obamacare, was labeled a "death sentence for millions" by Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass), "people will
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2017-04-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-29-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 30, 2017 Edition 
   ACLU Wants to Force Hospitals to Perform Sex Change Surgery Last year, Mercy San Juan Medical Center in Carmichael, California refused to remove the uterus of Evan Michael Minton. Minton is in the process of transitioning from female to a simulate
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2017-04-21
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-21-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 23, 2017 Edition  
   Murderer Demands Release as "Reparation for Slavery" Kori Ali Muhammad, the man under arrest for four murders, demanded he be released as "reparation for slavery. Whites enslaved millions of blacks and killed thousands of them. The four whit
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2017-04-14
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-14-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 16, 2017 Edition 
   Merkel Explains Terror Policy Facing a tough reelection campaign, German Chancellor Angela Merkel struggles to convince voters that her open borders approach to Muslim immigrants hasn't been a disaster. In an interview published in a German magazi
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2017-04-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-08-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 9, 2017 Edition  
   Chelsea Clinton Gives Career Advice Former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton touted herself as "a working model of what a young woman needs to do to succeed in today's world. I know that a lot of women in my generation are pretty bummed about my Mo
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2017-03-31
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-31-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 2, 2017 Edition  
   Congresswoman Defends Government Surveillance of Trump This week's revelation by Democratic operative Evelyn Farkas that the Obama Administration had the Trump campaign under surveillance and shared the information gathered with the Hillary Clinto
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2017-03-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-24-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 26, 2017 Edition 
   Senator Dubs 1973 Roe vs. Wade "Super Precedent" In an attempt to disqualify prospective Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch, Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif), the ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, anointed 1973's Supreme Court decisi
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2017-03-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-17-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 19, 2017 Edition 
   NY Dems Propose "Memory Hole" Legislation New York State Assemblyman David Weprin (D-Hollis) State Sen. Tony Avella (D-Queens) have introduced legislation that would empower the state government to order the erasure of Internet content that is
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2017-03-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-10-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 12, 2017 Edition by John Semmens 
   Pelosi Warns of an American Holocaust A Bureau of Labor Statistics report indicating that more than 900,000 have left the ranks of the leisure class and joined the workforce since Trump's inauguration was cast as "the start of an American holoca
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2017-03-03
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-03-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 5, 2017 Edition 
   Obama to Receive "Profiles in Courage" Award The Kennedy Presidential Library's annual "Profiles in Courage" Award for 2017 will go to former President Barack Obama. The Award, named after the 1957 Pulitzer Prize winning book ghost written
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2017-02-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-24-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 26, 2017 Edition 
   Montana Governor Blocks Right to Bear Arms Montana Governor Steve Bullock (D) vetoed legislation that would have made the state a "Constitutional carry" state. That is, individuals would be permitted to exercise their right to bear arms as def
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2017-02-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-17-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 19, 2017 Edition 
   Dems Plan to Block Trump's Immigration Policy In a move likely to prove even more futile than the repeated GOP Congress' attempts to repeal Obamacare while Obama was president, Senate Democrats have introduced legislation that would negate Trump's
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2017-02-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-10-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 12, 2017 Edition 
   Court Disallows Trump Effort to Block Dangerous Foreigners This week the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit upheld a lower court's blockage of President Donald Trump's Executive Order instituting temporary restraints on the entry of foreign
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2017-02-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-04-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 5, 2017 Edition 
   Berkeley Mayor Justifies Riots While Berkeley Mayor Jesse Arreguin expressed regret that "the anger of those opposed to allowing a hateful white nationalist may have been a little too exuberant, we must acknowledge their constitutional right to
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2017-01-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-27-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 29, 2017 Edition 
   Mexican President Vows to Protect Illegals Living in the US Irate that US President Donald Trump "is upending the convivial relationship our two countries enjoyed while Obama held the presidency," Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto vowed
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2017-01-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-20-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 22, 2017 Edition 
   Sanders Says American Poor Worse off than Poor Anywhere Else Despite the fact that the living standards of those in poverty in the United States exceed the standards of the middle class in most countries, recent Democratic presidential candidate S
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2017-01-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-13-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 15, 2017 Edition 
   DOJ Inspector General to Probe FBI Department of Justice Inspector General Michael Horowitz announced "an in-depth probe of the strange pre-election day behavior of FBI Director James Comey. Despite the Attorney General's clear wishes that there
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2017-01-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-06-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 8, 2017 Edition 
   Man Tortured in Anti-Trump Protest An 18-year-old mentally challenged man was tortured for two days by Black Lives Matter-inspired criminals as "a protest against the racist Trump Administration." Four Chicago millenials--Jordan Hill, 18, Tes
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2017-01-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-02-2017 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 1, 2017 Edition 
   Obama Blames Russia for Exposing Anti-Israel Move With a rash of news stories popping up contradicting the Obama Administration's denial that the recent UN vote against Israeli settlements was, in fact, organized and led by Administration official
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2016-12-23
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-23-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 25, 2016 Edition 
   Ivanka Trump Harassed On-Board a JetBlue plane at JFK Airport in New York City for a planned family vacation in Hawaii, Donald Trump's eldest daughter Ivanka was accosted by another passenger Dan Goldstein, a Brooklyn lawyer. Goldstein's harangue
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2016-12-16
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-16-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE December 18, 2016 Edition 
   RNC Averts Hack that Duped DNC Amid all the caterwauling from Democrats about Russians supposedly hacking the Democratic National Committee's computer system comes a report from the Republican National Committee that a similar attempt on their com
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2016-12-09
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-09-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 11, 2016 Edition 
   France Censors Anti-Abortion Advocates The award-winning "Dear Future Mom" video featuring children with Down Syndrome making the case for the value of their lives was banned from TV by France's Conseil d'État (State Council). According t
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2016-12-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-02-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 4, 2016 Edition 
   Senator Desperate to Pass "Lame Duck" Bills Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) has joined with Sen. John McCain (R-Az) to modify the recently passed Justice Against Sponsors of Terror Act (JASTA). This law allows victims of terrorist attacks to sue th
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2016-11-25
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-25-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 27, 2016 Edition 
   Democratic Party Doesn't Need White People In a bid to simplify the race for who will be the next chairperson of the Democratic National Committee, former Bernie Sanders for President spokeswoman Symone Sanders advised melanin deficient aspirants
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2016-11-18
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-18-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 20, 2016 Edition 
   Micro-Aggression Terror at Starbucks Customers and staff at a Portland, Oregon Starbuck's coffee shop endured a moment of pure terror when another customer asked for the name "Trump" to be written on his order. "This used to be a safe spa
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2016-11-11
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-11-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 13, 2016 Edition 
   Trump Win Sparks Left-Wing Protests Donald Trump's surprising upset win over his heavily favored Democratic rival Hillary Clinton has sparked disturbing responses from some of her supporters. In Oakland, California anti-Trump protesters battled wi
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2016-11-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-04-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 6, 2016 Edition 
   Hillary's Unsecure Email System Breached FBI agents examining the trove of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's emails on a lap-top computer seized from sexter Anthony Weiner reportedly have discovered that the emails show signs of being ha
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2016-10-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-29-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 30, 2016 Edition 
   Renewed FBI Probe Riles Democrats This week FBI Director James Comey announced it might have to revisit the criminal investigation into former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's emails. "In the course of our investigation on another case we ca
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2016-10-21
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-21-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 23, 2016 Edition 
   DNC Chair Assails Videos of Democrat Election Fraud The Democratic National Committee Chairperson Donna Brazile assailed videos from Project Veritas declaring that "these stolen tapes should not be permitted to be viewed by voters prior to the e
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2016-10-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-15-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 16, 2016 Edition 
   Clinton Campaign Calls Wikileaks "Violation of Constitutional Rights" The flood of emails obtained from Clinton confidants detailing repeated instances of illegal, dishonest, and despicable behavior has provoked a howl of protest from the Clin
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2016-10-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-08-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 9, 2016 Edition 
   Clintons Mock Trump's Lewd Conversation from 2005 A Washington Post story about a lewd conversation between Donald Trump and Billy Bush of "Access Hollywood" in 2005 was viewed with scorn and derision by both Bill and Hillary Clinton. Bill
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2016-10-01
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-01-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 2, 2016 Edition 
   FBI's Latest Email Disclosure Has Surprising Content Within the latest Friday evening document "dump" from the FBI was evidence that Hillary Clinton's lawyers deleted 1,000 emails between General David Patraeus. At the time Hillary was Secreta
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2016-09-23
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-23-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 25, 2016 Edition 
   Post Warns Trump Election "Blows Chance for Confronting Russia" Jackson Diehl, deputy editorial page editor of the Washington Post, issued a stern warning to voters that "the election of Donald Trump would risk undermining our opportunity to
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2016-09-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-17-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 18, 2016 Edition 
   Trump Backs Off Claim Obama Wasn't Born in the US This week GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump backed away from his previous questioning of President Obama's birthplace. His announcement was greeted by an outpouring of venom from assorted Dem
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2016-09-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-10-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 11, 2016 Edition 
   Chelsea Can't Fathom Why People Think Her Mom is Untrustworthy Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton's daughter went on ABC's The View talk show to express her dismay at polls showing that a huge majority of Americans consider her moth
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2016-09-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-02-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 4, 2016 Edition 
   FBI Admits Suspected Brain Damage Was Factor in "No Indictment" Decision It was revealed this week that suspected brain damage was a key factor in FBI Director James Comey's decision to recommend against indicting former Secretary of State Hil
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2016-08-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-27-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 28, 2016 Edition  
   Clinton Foundation Called "Economic Dynamo" Revelations that the Hillary Clinton-led US State Department granted favors to governments, corporations, and individuals that made donations to the Clinton Foundation have stirred concerns that a Cl
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2016-08-19
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-19-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 21, 2016 Edition  
   Trump Visit to Louisiana Disaster Area Panned by Dems GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's visit to flood ravaged areas of Louisiana was panned by Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest as "a virtual usurpation of President Obama's prero
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2016-08-12
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-12-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 14, 2016 Edition 
   McCain Assails Trump's Crediting Obama & Clinton for Rise of ISIS Arizona Senator John McCain (R) took issue with GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump's statement that President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton were co-founders of ISI
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2016-08-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-05-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 7, 2016 Edition 
   Obama Disputes Iran Ransom Claim President Obama disputed claims that a planeload of $400 million in cash sent to Iran was a payment for the release of four Americans held hostage by the regime. He dismissed the simultaneous arrival of the plane c
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2016-07-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-29-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 31, 2016 Edition  
   Obama Hails Economic Progress During His Administration In his speech at the Democratic Convention President Obama contended that "by so many measures, our country is stronger and more prosperous than it was when we started." Unfortunately, a
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2016-07-22
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-22-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 24, 2016 Edition 
   Obama Says Trump's Perception of America Skewed President Obama took issue with Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump's portrayal of a country in crisis, calling it "dangerously skewed from reality." "By highlighting a few incident
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2016-07-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-15-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 17, 2016 Edition 
   Hillary Calls Trump "Divisive" and "Unfit" Amidst polls showing her lead over GOP rival Donald Trump dwindling, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned voters against "the most divisive and unfit candidate in our nation's histor
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2016-06-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-24-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 26, 2016 Edition  
   Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton brushed off new revelations that the 30,000 "personal" emails she deleted may have included official Department business as "nothing to concern the American people."
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2016-06-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-17-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 19, 2016 Edition 
   Former Senator Questions Need for So Many Armed Federal Agents Former Senator Tom Coburn (R-Okla) wrote an op ed for the Wall Street Journal in which he raised the question of why so many federal agents are authorized to carry weapons. In the op e
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2016-06-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-10-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 12, 2016 Edition  
   State Department Warns Israel Not to Inconvenience Palestinians Mark Toner, spokesman for the US State Department, issued a statement condemning the terrorist attack on a shopping mall that killed four Israelis, but simultaneously warned Israel to
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2016-06-03
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-03-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 5, 2016 Edition 
   Obama Says He's Not a "Gun Grabber" In response to an audience member's concern that Democrats want to take guns away from law-abiding people, President Obama sought to reassure the man that his fears were exaggerated. "The notion that I,
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2016-05-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-27-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 29, 2016 Edition  
   President Suggests Hillary's Email "a Matter for Voters to Decide" Irritated that the media would dare to pose a question about the legality of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's unsecured email communications, President Obama refused
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2016-05-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-20-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 22, 2016 Edition  
   ACLU Bemoans Court's Pro-Choice Decision This week Nevada District Judge Eric Johnson dismissed the ACLU's case against the state's school choice law. A change to Nevada statutes creating an education savings account (ESA) program that permits stu
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2016-05-14
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-14-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 15, 2016 Edition 
   Debate on Pot Legalization Heats up in California The debate over a California initiative to legalize recreational marijuana sparked heated rejoinders from both sides this week. Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R) suggested that legalization "will bett
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2016-05-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-06-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 8, 2016 Edition 
   Moderate Muslims Are "Uncle Toms" Says London Mayor-Elect London's newly elected mayor, Labour Party candidate Sadiq Khan, vows he will "establish the order prescribed by the Quran" when he takes office later this year. "Mohamed instr
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2016-04-30
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-30-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 1, 2016 Edition  
   Obama Calls His Management of the US Economy "Best in Human History" Despite declines in labor force participation, family income and home ownership juxtaposed to increases in poverty, debt, and health care costs, President Obama maintains tha
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2016-04-22
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-22-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 24, 2016 Edition 
   Virginia Governor Enfranchises Felons Saying he is tired of waiting for the legislature to take action, Gov. Terry McAuliffe (D-Va) issued an executive order restoring voting rights to convicted felons. The move is expected to add more than 200,00
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2016-04-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-15-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 17, 2016 Edition  
   Sanders Says Unemployment a "Viable Weapon in War against Global Warming" In Thursday's debate, Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-Vt) wowed the Party faithful by promising that "economic dislocation and job losses will
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2016-04-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-08-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 10, 2016 Edition 
   Army Chief Opposes Private Weapons for Troops In testimony before a congressional committee investigating the murders of military personnel at military facilities, Army Chief of Staff General Mark Milley told Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) that he was opp
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2016-04-01
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-01-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 3, 2016 Edition  
   Rove Calls for "Fresh Face" to Get GOP Nomination Karl Rove, former campaign adviser to President George W. Bush, suggested that "Republicans need to look outside the current crop of candidates vying for the Party's nomination and pick a 'fr
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2016-03-25
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-25-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 27, 2016 Edition 
   Obama Minimizes Differences Between Communism & Capitalism In a speech to Argentinian youths, President Obama characterized the long-running battle between capitalism and communism as "an interesting intellectual argument that should have no bea
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2016-03-18
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-18-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 20, 2016 Edition 
   Hillary Calls Woman "Poor Shopper" When Teresa O'Donnell of Powell, Ohio took the opportunity at a CNN town hall to complain that Obamacare's costs were hurting her family, Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton suggested the woman
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2016-03-11
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-11-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 13, 2016 Edition 
   Dem Candidates Agree on Abortion The two Democratic contenders for the Party's 2016 presidential nomination fended off the possibility that states should have any leeway in limiting abortions carried out within their borders. In a statement eer
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2016-03-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-04-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 6, 2016 Edition  
   State Dept to Wait Until After Election to Evaluate Hillary's Emails The US State Department announced that it will be deferring further analysis of the security implications of former Secretary Clinton's unauthorized and illegal transfer of class
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2016-02-26
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-26-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 28, 2016 Edition 
   Trump Campaign Receives Boost from Sharpton Donald Trump's bid to become president received a boost from an unexpected source when racist loon Al Sharpton promised to leave the country should Trump be elected. According to Sharpton, his pledge
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2016-02-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-20-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 21 2016 Edition 
   Battle Over Supreme Court Vacancy Looms The inconveniently timed death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia last weekend has set the stage for a major confrontation over the appointment of his successor. On the one hand, President Obama has ass
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2016-02-12
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-12-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 14, 2016 Edition 
   Mosque Weapon Seizure Called Discriminatory Raids by French authorities have resulted in the confiscation of hundreds of war-grade weapons from numerous mosques throughout the country. The raids were inspired by the November 13th Islamic terrorist
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2016-02-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-05-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 7, 2016 Edition 
   New Clinton Defense on Email Scandal: "Everybody Did It" A recent discovery that former Secretaries of State Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice may have received a handful of classified emails on their private computers prompted Democratic pres
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2016-01-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-29-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 31, 2016 Edition 
   DOJ to Investigate Oscars The absence of blacks, gays, and transgenders from the ranks of those nominated for this year's Academy Awards has spurred outrage among cultural elites. Hollywood power couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith announced
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2016-01-22
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-22-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 24, 2016 Edition 
   Sanders Calls for Nationalized Health Care Riding on the crest of poll numbers showing a surge for his presidential bid, Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-Vt) upped the ante vs. rival former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton by calling for a nationalization
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2016-01-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-15-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 17, 2016 Edition 
   NY Dems Demand Conservatives Leave State While at odds over whether the State or the City should get to expropriate citizens' wealth, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo (D) and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio (D) both agree that "there is no plac
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2016-01-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-08-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 10, 2016 Edition 
   German Government Flummoxed by Muslim New Year's Eve Assaults On New Year's Eve, gangs of Muslims immigrants accosted, groped, assaulted, robbed, and raped women in Berlin, Cologne, Hamburg, Stuttgart, and Dusseldorf, Germany. Local police were un
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2016-01-01
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-01-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 3, 2016 Edition 
   Hillary Doubles Down on Benghazi Lies Despite substantial evidence to the contrary, former Secretary of State and current contender for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination Hillary Clinton insists that she is the one telling the truth ab
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2016-01-01
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-01-2016 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: Best of 2015, part III 
   Democrat Says Drop Benghazi Investigation Member of the House Select Committee on Benghazi Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) is calling for an end to the investigation. As Schiff sees it, "the hearings can serve no useful purpose. Closing them down wil
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2015-12-30
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-30-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: Best of 2015, part II 
   Baltimore Mayor Apologizes for Calling Rioters "Thugs" Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, whose infamous order to police to "give protesters space to destroy," sheepishly apologized to residents who participated in looting stores, b
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2015-12-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-29-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: Best of 2015, part I 
   Obama Gives Himself an A+ for Performance Despite characterizing himself as a "hard grader," President Obama rated his performance for the recently concluded 2014 an "A+." "My critics want to harp on their pet issues to claim my Administra
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2015-12-18
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-18-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 20, 2015 Edition 
   Sanders Campaign Breach Called "Most Serious Threat Ever" Due to a temporary lapse of a "firewall" in the Democratic National Committee's (DNC) database, the Sanders campaign was able to access confidential information on the Clinton campa
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2015-12-12
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-12-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 13, 2015 Edition 
   Administration Defends Initial Moves Following San Bernardino Terrorist Attack December 2's murder of 14 and wounding of 21 at an office holiday party by Syed Rizwan Farook and his wife Tashfeen Malik in San Bernardino, California was immediately
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2015-12-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
12-04-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 6, 2015 Edition 
   California Massacre Sparks Diverse Reactions A paramilitary assault by Syed Rizwan Farooq and his wife Tashfeen Malik on an office Christmas party in San Bernardino, California on Wednesday that left 14 dead and 21 more wounded has sown confusion
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2015-11-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-27-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 29, 2015 Edition 
   Obama Blames Media for Perception that Islamic Terror Is a Problem Frustrated by the growing exasperation of Americans with his feckless foreign policy, President Obama told members of his inner circle of advisers that he blames the media for "c
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2015-11-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-20-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 22, 2015 Edition 
   Reid and Obama Vow to Block Bill on Refugee Vetting Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) and President Obama vowed they would block a House-passed measure to increase scrutiny of refugees from Syria and Iraq. Concern that terrorists might be
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2015-11-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-13-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 15, 2015 Edition 
   University Students Rally for Tyranny The protests at the University of Missouri that resulted in the ouster of President Tim Wolfe and Chancellor R. Bowen Loftin have reinvigorated student movements against freedom of speech across the nation.
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2015-11-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
11-06-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 8, 2015 Edition 
   Hillary Boasts "I Am Unstoppable" In an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel's late night talk show, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton proclaimed her election next year as "inevitable. Nominally, Bernie Sanders is still in the race, but since he
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2015-10-31
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-31-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 1, 2015 Edition 
   Senators Question IRS Spying Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) and ranking member Patrick Leahy (D-Vt) sent a letter to Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew demanding to know why the IRS is using secret cellphone tracking systems
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2015-10-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-23-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 25, 2015 Edition by John Semmens 
   Clinton Blames Stevens for Own Death In testimony before the House Committee on Benghazi former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton laid the blame for the Benghazi debacle squarely on slain Ambassador Christopher Stevens. "He was the person on-th
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2015-10-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-16-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 18, 2015 Edition 
   Germany Struggles to Make Immigrants Feel Welcome Germany is taking some extraordinary steps to try to accommodate an estimated 1.5 million Muslim immigrants that will enter the country this year. In a number of locations German students have b
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2015-10-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-09-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 11, 2015 Edition 
   Christian Refugees to Be Deported The Obama Administration has decided that Christian refugees from areas occupied by the Islamic State will be deported back to the war zone. Meanwhile, tens of thousands of Muslims fleeing the region will be given
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2015-10-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
10-02-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 4, 2015 Edition  
   ACLU Sues Catholic Hospitals Catholic hospitals' refusal to perform birth control services that run counter to the Church's beliefs came under fire from the American Civil Liberties Union this week as it launched a lawsuit aimed at compelling thes
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2015-09-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-25-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 27, 2015 Edition 
   Boehner Resignation Unleashes Cascade of Caterwauling House Speaker John Boehner's (R-Ohio) announcement that he is resigning from Congress effective October 30th was followed by a torrent of tears in Washington. Leading the sob fest, of course, w
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2015-09-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-19-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 20, 2015 Edition 
   Scientists Urge President to Prosecute Global Warming Skeptics A gaggle of university climatologists have written to President Obama and Attorney General Loretta Lynch urging them to prosecute people who continue to contradict the "scientific co
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2015-09-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
09-04-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 6, 2015 Edition by John Semmens 
   Democrat Says Drop Benghazi Investigation Member of the House Select Committee on Benghazi Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) is calling for an end to the investigation. As Schiff sees it, "the hearings can serve no useful purpose. Closing them down wil
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2015-08-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-28-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 30, 2015 Edition 
   EPA to Defy Judge Judge Ralph Erickson of the District Court for the District of North Dakota granted plaintiffs an injunction against the Environmental Protection Agency's implementation of new navigable waterways regulations that were set for im
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2015-08-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-21-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 23, 2015 Edition by John Semmens 
   Bush Endorses Universal Surveillance In a bid to position himself as the "Big Brother" candidate in juxtaposition to what he characterized as the "Angry Uncle" candidacy of Donald Trump, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush called for an end t
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2015-08-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-15-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 16, 2015 Edition 
   Carson, BLM Clash on Issues GOP presidential hopeful Dr. Ben Carson and leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement clashed this week following Carson's assertion that BLM is "creating strife." As Carson sees it, "Blacks have been led down a
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2015-08-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
08-07-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 9, 2015 Edition  
   Russian Calls for War Crimes Inquiry into Atom Bombs Dropped by US Russian legislator Sergei Naryshkin called for an international military tribunal to open an investigation of the United States' bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, calling
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2015-07-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-31-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 2, 2015 Edition 
   Kerry Insists that "Death to America" Is Just Rhetoric In his continuing quest to sell Congress on what House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) labeled a "diplomatic masterpiece," Secretary of State John Kerry tried to reassure the Ho
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2015-07-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
07-25-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 26, 2015 Edition 
   Administration Says Failure to Accept Iran Deal Means War The Obama Administration denounced Congressional opposition to its Iranian deal, saying that failure to accept the pact would lead to war. "Secretary of State John Kerry has assured th
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2015-06-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-26-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 28, 2015 Edition 
   Supreme Court Rewrites Obamacare Acknowledging that the original Affordable Care Act "was so poorly written as to be utterly infeasible in its implementation," Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts took "the liberty of rewriting it to cor
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2015-06-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-12-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 14, 2015 Edition 
   Angry Obama Vows Vengeance against Trade Bill Opponents Alternating between tears and venom, a stunned President Obama ranted against members of his own Party, calling them "faithless turncoats" and alleging that "they are destroying my cred
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2015-06-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
06-05-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 7, 2015 Edition 
   New Candidate for President Vows to Complete Metric Conversion This week, former Rhode Island Senator and Governor Lincoln Chafee announced he is seeking the Democratic nomination for president in the 2016 election. A key factor in his decision to
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2015-05-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-29-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 31, 2015 Edition 
   Court Strikes Down Idaho Abortion Limitation An Idaho statute banning abortions after the fetus reaches 20 weeks of age was struck down by the US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals as "an undue burden on a parent's ability to get an abortion."
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2015-05-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-23-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 24, 2015 Edition 
   Failure to Disclose $26 Million in Bribes an "Oversight" Says CEO Recent revelations that the Clinton Foundation neglected to report over $26 million in payments from major corporations, universities, foreign sources and other groups was chara
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2015-05-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-15-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 17, 2015 Edition 
   Feds Warn Lenders Not to Deny Loans to Welfare Recipients The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) warned financial institutions that they could be prosecuted if they deny home loans to persons subsisting on welfare benefits. CFPB Direct
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2015-05-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-09-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 10, 2015 Edition 
   State Department Declines to Pursue Influence Peddling Allegations Suspicion that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton may have been involved in questionable financial transactions between foreign governments and the Clinton Foundation was br
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2015-05-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
05-01-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 3, 2015 Edition 
   Justice Suggests Allowing Gay Marriage May Not Go Far Enough In oral arguments over whether states should be compelled to recognize gay marriages, Justice Sonia Sotomayor wondered "whether merely permitting gays to marry would be sufficient. The
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2015-04-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-25-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 26, 2015 Edition 
   House Speaker Pleads for Hillary to Turn Over Computer Server A new slew of allegations has emerged implying that the Clinton Foundation may have accepted bribes in exchange for Hillary to use her Secretary of State status to influence government
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2015-04-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-18-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 19, 2015 Edition  
   Bipartisan Plea for Lynch Confirmation President Obama's nominee for Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, received a vote of support from both media star Al Sharpton and former Florida Governor Jeb Bush this week. Her confirmation has been held up by
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2015-04-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-10-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 12, 2015 Edition 
   Work Requirement Pares Maine Food Stamp Recipients Enforcement of a work requirement by Republican Governor Paul LePage's administration has led to 9,000 former recipients being declared ineligible to receive food stamps. Under the work requiremen
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2015-04-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
04-05-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 5, 2015 Edition 
   Rising Sales of US Constitution Put Department of Homeland Security on Alert A surge of book sales that pushed the US Constitution into the top ten best seller list of the Conservative Book Club has caused federal officials to put the Department o
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2015-03-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-28-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 29, 2015 Edition 
   Bergdahl Didn't Desert, Lawyer Says While the Army has decided to charge Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl with desertion and "misbehaving before the enemy," his lawyer, Eugene Fidell, contends that Bergdahl never intended to desert. "Sgt Bergdahl had s
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2015-03-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-20-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, March 22, 2015 Edition 
   Obama Exempts White House from Freedom of Information Act Contending that "constant prying by the enemies of this Administration are impeding my ability to smoothly rule this country," President Obama issued a decree exempting the White House
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2015-03-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-13-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, March 15, 2015 Edition 
   Obama Admin May Bypass Congress, Seek UN Approval of Iran Deal This week the Obama Administration has indicated it may bypass Congress and go directly to the United Nations to obtain international approval of its pending agreement with Iran.
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2015-03-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
03-06-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 8, 2015 Edition 
   Dems Label Inquiry into Hillary's Emails "Witch Hunt" The revelation that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's use of an insecure private email account for top secret communications has even liberal commentators concerned. On MSNBC's
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2015-02-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-27-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, March 1, 2015 Edition 
   FCC Issues Secret Regulations for Internet Anxious to rescue the Internet from what Federal Communications Chairman Tom Wheeler called a "regime of anarchy," the FCC approved over 300 pages of new rules designed "to bring order to this disor
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2015-02-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-21-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, February 22, 2015 Edition 
   Government Panel Calls for Measures to Upgrade Our Health The Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee (DGAC) issued a 571 page report outlining its recommendations for transforming Americans' health. Citing persistent high levels of overweight and o
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2015-02-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
02-13-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, February 15, 2015 Edition 
   Amnesty "Loophole" May Allow Illegals to Vote Secretaries of state from Ohio and Kansas say that the documents--driver's licenses and Social Security numbers--being provided to the illegal immigrants granted amnesty by President Obama open a
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2015-01-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-31-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, February 1, 2015 Edition 
   Congressional Democrats May Boycott Netanyahu Speech While a number of key Democrats were still wondering whether attending Netanyahu's speech to Congress in February would be proper, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) was adamant that
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2015-01-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-23-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, January 25, 2015 Edition 
   White House Outraged over Boehner Invitation to Netanyahu The invitation House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) issued to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to address a joint session of Congress has the Obama Administration in a state of apop
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2015-01-17
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News 
01-17-2015 
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE, January 18, 2015 Edition 
   Obama Says Armed Response to Muslim Terrorism Wrong Approach While attempting not appear to condone the murder of the Hebdo staff and the Jewish hostages at a kosher supermarket in Paris last week, President Obama blamed France's failure to integr
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