John Semmens
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John Semmens has been writing political satire from a libertarian/conservative perspective since 2005. Readers have favorably compared his work to that of Jonathan Swift, calling it "better than the Onion," "positively, freakin' brilliant," and "great and brutally honest satire." An archive of some of his past work can be found at
Current Columns and Articles |
2023-09-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-23-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 24, 2023 Edition
Dems Modify Voting Laws
This week Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) signed 10 voting reform bills passed by the Democrat majority legislature. She asserted that "we are safeguarding the integrity of our electoral process and ensuring equal access to the ba
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2023-09-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-16-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 17, 2023 Edition
Impeachment Inquiry: "Extreme Politics at Its Worst"
Ian Sams, special assistant to the president and senior advisor to the White House Counsel's Office, labeled House Speaker Kevin McCarthy's (R-Calif) decision to open a formal impeachment inqu
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2023-09-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-08-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 10, 2023 Edition
"Remain in Texas" Policy
Complaints from the mayors of sanctuary cities are inspiring the Biden Administration to seek a remedy that would entail requiring that illegal immigrants remain in Texas. Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security A
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2023-09-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-02-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 3, 2023 Edition
End of Car-Centric Era Predicted
Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has appointed 24 new members to his Advisory Committee on Transportation Equity. "Cars are the weal link in our transportation system," he explained. "They are a major contri
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2023-08-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-26-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 27, 2023 Edition
Elections "Bad for Democracy"
World Economic Forum (WEF) adviser Adam Grant says "the only way democracy can be saved is to do away with elections. Allowing voters to select their rulers invites a toxic struggle for power. Unscrupulous politicians
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2023-08-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-19-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 20, 2023 Edition
Tax-Funded Uterus Transplants
Since there has yet to be a successful uterus transplant into an XY chromosome male body insurance won't cover the estimated $300,000 cost. According to "Patient-Centered Transgender Surgical Care," a recent artic
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2023-08-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-12-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 13, 2023 Edition
FDA Weasels
Three doctors are suing the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for impeding their ability to treat their patients with ivermectin during the pandemic. The FDA argues that its actions ridiculing ivermectin did not impede its use by thes
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2023-08-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-05-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 6, 2023 Edition
Psaki Assails GOP Totalitarian Tactics
Biden's former White House press secretary Jen Psaki warned voters against "falling for Republican efforts to distract attention away from their Party's conspiracy to overturn the 2020 election by making fals
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2023-07-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-29-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 30, 2023 Edition
Blacks Under Attack
This week, members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) held a press conference to highlight how Blacks are under assault in America. Examples cited by CBC Chairman Rep. Steven Horsford (D-Nev) included "Alabama's refusal to
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2023-07-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-22-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 23, 2023 Edition
NYC to Pay Rioters $13 Million
In a lawsuit alleging police brutality in their response to vandalism, arson, and assaults committed in New York City by persons protesting the May 25, 2020 death of George Floyd while in police custody in Minneapoli
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2023-07-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-15-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 16, 2023 Edition
Biden Forgives $39 Billion of Student Debt
Despite the recent US Supreme Court ruling that he lacks the authority to unilaterally forgive these debts, President Biden has gone ahead and authorized the Department of Education to forgive the remaini
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2023-07-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-08-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 9, 2023 Edition
School Board Overrules Parents
Despite overwhelming opposition from parents, Virginia's Fairfax County Public School Board (FCPSB) mandated that sex-education for all students will emphasize woke gender ideology. This is the same school board whos
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2023-07-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-01-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 2, 2023 Edition
Supreme Court Goes Three for Three
Court Strikes Down Racism
In a case brought against Harvard University and the University of North Carolina by Students for Fair Admissions, the US Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that using different admission standa
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2023-06-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-23-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 25, 2023 Edition
Durham Lambastes Corrupt FBI
This week, Special Counsel John Durham told the House Judiciary Committee that "the FBI was too willing to accept and use politically funded and uncorroborated opposition research from the Clinton campaign. The FBI abe
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2023-06-17
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-17-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 18, 2023 Edition
Trump Indictment Amended
Following his indictment for mishandling classified documents, former President Trump visited the Versailles Restaurant in the Little Havana neighborhood of Miami where he shouted "food for everyone." Since it was his birt
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2023-06-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-10-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 11, 2023 Edition
Biden Disputes Poll Trend
The latest Gallup poll results on social issues show a trend toward conservatism over the last three years. In 2021, 30% of those polled identified as conservative. In the 2023 survey, 38% did. In 2021, 34% identified as
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2023-06-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-02-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 4, 2023 Edition
Trump Stumbles
While President Biden's face plant at the Air Force Academy graduation ceremony garnered the most attention, a pair of unforced errors committed by Donald Trump raised some questions about his electability in the 2024 election.
D
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2023-05-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-27-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 28, 2023 Edition
Foreign Government Meddling
Arguing that "blood is thicker than water," China's Ambassador to the United States Xie Feng called upon "fellow compatriots and Chinese students to serve the motherland. Your support, involvement and contribution wou
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2023-05-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-20-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 21, 2023 Edition
"Mitigating Circumstances" Result in Plea Deal
On September 18, 2022, 42-year-old left-wing radical Shannon Brandt intentionally drove his SUV over and killed 18-year-old Cayler Ellingson. Brandt told arresting officers that he did it "because tha
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2023-05-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-12-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 14, 2023 Edition
Reparation Recipients Need Servants
Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga) hammered GOP opposition to the flood of immigrants flowing across our southern border, calling it "more white oppression of the Black man. Just when we are on the brink of getting repara
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2023-05-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-05-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 7, 2023 Edition
Union Wants Share of Pork
United Auto Workers (UAW) President Shawn Fain is withholding his union's endorsement of the reelection of President Biden "until we get our fair share. If he can afford to pour billions of dollars into subsidizing the co
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2023-04-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-29-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 30, 2023 Edition
Capitol Cop Assails Carlson
US Capitol Police Chief Thomas Manger called the firing of Tucker Carlson by FOX News "long overdue. This clown has no respect for authority. His lopsided criticism of our handling of the January 6 insurrection invited
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2023-04-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-22-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 23, 2023 Edition
Congressmen Debate Gun Control
Rep. Jamaal Bowman (Dâ€"NY) and Rep. Thomas Massie (Râ€"Ky) got into a shouting match over gun control this week. The fireworks started when Massie asserted that "there has never been a mass shooting in a school that
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2023-04-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-14-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 16, 2023 Edition
More Americans Struggling Financially
A recent Monmouth University poll found that more Americans are struggling financially since Biden replaced Trump as the country's president. Patrick Murray, Director of the independent Monmouth University Pol
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2023-04-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-07-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 9, 2023 Edition
Woman Attacked by Trans Activists
Riley Gaines, a former NCAA All-American swimmer, was violently assaulted by transgender fanatics for daring to speak out against biological men invading women's sports. Despite a federal law (familiarly called Ti
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2023-03-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-31-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 2, 2023 Edition
Dems to Bar Suspending Drunk Students
The California legislature's Education Committee unanimously approved a bill (AB 599) that will prohibit schools from suspending or expelling students who are drunk, high, or in possession of illicit drugs or
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2023-03-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-24-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 26, 2023 Edition
Dems Give Advice on Crime
Convinced that the people who commit crimes are the real victims, Democrats in the nation's biggest cities are urging everyone else to get used to living with criminals.
In San Francisco, John Hamasaki, former San Fran
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2023-03-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-18-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 19, 2023 Edition
Youth Accountability and Safety Act
Maryland Delegate Charlotte Crutchfield (D-Montgomery) has introduced the Youth Accountability and Safety Act (HB1180). This bill would lessen the penalty for murders committed by persons below the age of 26 as
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2023-03-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-10-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 12, 2023 Edition
90% of IRS Audits Hit Small Businesses & Families
While making the rich pay their fair share of taxes has been the rhetoric favored by President Biden, in her testimony to the House Ways and Means Committee Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, admitte
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2023-03-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-04-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 5, 2023 Edition
NYC Rioters Get $6 Million Settlement
People who rioted in New York City during the protests over the death of career criminal George Floyd in Minneapolis while in police custody have been awarded $6 million in "damages" because some of the NYC po
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2023-02-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-25-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 26, 2023 Edition
DeSantis Gets Fake Apology
During an interview with Vice-President Kamala Harris, MSNBC anchor Andrea Mitchell inaccurately described Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' objection to Critical Race Theory (CRT) as "opposition to teaching about slavery and t
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2023-02-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-18-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 19, 2023 Edition
Afghan Women Advised to Use "Black Girl Magic"
Karen Decker, the US top ranked diplomat in Afghanistan, advised women being oppressed by the Taliban government "to 'bone up' on Black History Month and learn from Beyonce and Lizzo, both of whom ove
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2023-02-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-10-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 12, 2023 Edition
TV Station Fined for Barring Candidate from Debate
The Florida Department of Health fined WESH-2, an Orlando television station, $10,000 for not allowing Scotty Moore, the Republican candidate for a Florida Congressional District to participate in
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2023-02-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-04-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 5, 2023 Edition
Housing Is a Human Right
The San Diego City Council unanimously voted to declare housing a human right. Council President Monica Montgomery Steppe argued that "the homelessness crisis has become intolerable. The large incidence of mental illness a
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2023-01-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-27-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 29, 2023 Edition
FDA to Ease Blood Donation Restrictions
The US Food and Drug Administration says it will reduce restrictions based on sexual behavior for blood donors. Current rules bar donations from men who have sex with other men because of the risk of transmi
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2023-01-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-20-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 22, 2023 Edition
Dems Being Treated Unfairly
Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) complains that House Speaker Kevin McCarthy's determination to keep him off the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence (HPSCI) "is so unfair."
McCarthy defended his position, po
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2023-01-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-14-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 15, 2023 Edition
Biden Mishandles Classified Documents
The Democrats' quest to demonize former President Donald Trump for having classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago residence in Florida was dealt a serious setback when it was disclosed this week that President
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2023-01-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-07-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 8, 2023 Edition
Boobs Mock GOP House Speaker Voting
The inability of Republicans to quickly elect Rep. Kevin McCarthy as House Speaker had CBS's Steven Colbert agreeing with CNN talking head Chris Wallace's assertion that "such a disaster never would have happene
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2022-12-17
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-17-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 18, 2022 Edition
Leftists Want to Ban Populists
Social Democratic Party (SPD) member Sebastian Hartmann demanded that the German parliament pass a law banning the Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) party, saying "there must be no tolerance for the enemies of the r
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2022-12-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-09-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 11, 2022 Edition
US & Russia Exchange Prisoners
This week President Biden announced that he had reached a deal with Russia to exchange Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout for Brittney Griner. He touted the deal as "a victory for American diplomacy" and "something form
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2022-12-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 4, 2022 Edition
GOP Leadership Wants to Aid Dems in Lame-Duck Session
With Republicans set to be the majority in the House in January, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is severely disappointed in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) who seems intent on giving Demo
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2022-12-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 4, 2022 Edition
GOP Leadership Wants to Aid Dems in Lame-Duck Session
With Republicans set to be the majority in the House in January, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is severely disappointed in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) who seems intent on giving Demo
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2022-12-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 4, 2022 Edition
GOP Leadership Wants to Aid Dems in Lame-Duck Session
With Republicans set to be the majority in the House in January, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is severely disappointed in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) who seems intent on giving Demo
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2022-11-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-26-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 27, 2022 Edition
Mayor Lightfoot Responds to Ridicule
A tweet from Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot lamenting the slaying of five patrons of Club Q in Colorado Springs sparked an outpouring of ridicule from other Twitter users. In her tweet, the Mayor asked "how many
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2022-11-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-19-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 20, 2022 Edition
Profs Declared "Priests of Democracy"
This week Chief U.S. District Judge Mark Walker blocked enforcement of Florida's "Stop WOKE Act," saying that "it infringes on the right of university professors to exercise their freedom of speech in their cl
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2022-11-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-11-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 13, 2022 Edition
Mandate for More of the Same
A chipper President Biden declared victory in the midterm elections, saying "the red wave didn't happen. So, I'm not changing anything." He took special pride from polls showing that 75% of voters are unhappy with the
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2022-11-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-05-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 6, 2022 Edition
Biden Rails Against "Enemies of Democracy"
President Biden made his closing argument to voters in a largely unwatched TV broadcast. He warned that "failure to vote Democrat means siding with the enemies of our democracy. It's right there on your b
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2022-10-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 30, 2022 Edition
Leftist Literati Call for Censorship
A gaggle of 547 leftist "intellectuals" have signed a letter demanding that Penguin Random House cancel its agreement with Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett to publish a book she just wrote about maintain
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2022-10-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-22-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 23, 2022 Edition
Voter Intimidation Alleged in Arizona
Arizona Secretary of State and current candidate for governor Katie Hobbs (D) charged that "efforts by right-wing extremists to observe ballot drop boxes is a fundamental invasion of a voter's right to cast a
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2022-10-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 16, 2022 Edition
Dems Blame Moderators
Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) and Rep. Elissa Slotkin (D-Mich) blamed their lackluster performances in two separate debates this week on the debate moderators.
During her debate with Whitmer, Republican challenger Tudor D
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2022-10-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-07-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 9, 2022 Edition
This week, GOP critics jumped on President Biden's apparent gaffe while campaigning at a Volvo Group Powertrain facility in Hagerstown, Maryland when he said "let me start off with two words: made in America." Dreaded members of the MAGA terroris
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2022-09-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-30-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 2, 2022 Edition
Dem Says Laxalt Abandoned Rape Victims
Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV) charged her Republican opponent Adam Laxalt with "abandoning rape victims. Instead of sticking with his Attorney General job, where he was very successful, he decided to p
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2022-09-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-24-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 25, 2022 Edition
Dems Mock GOP's "Commitment to America"
This week, House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) unveiled the Republicans' "Commitment to America" platform. The platform focused on inflation, crime, and the southern border.
"Pres
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2022-09-17
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-17-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 18, 2022 Edition
Martha's Vineyard Defiled
Panic and outrage were the responses from Democrats after Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) arranged to have 50 willing illegal migrants flown to the posh vacation playground of Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts.
Presid
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2022-09-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-09-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 11, 2022 Edition
End of Oil & Gas Within Reach
This week, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen predicted that "the Inflation Reduction Act will put us on our way toward a future where we totally depend on the wind, the sun and other clean sources of energy. We will f
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2022-09-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 4, 2022 Edition
Battle for the Soul of the Nation
This week, President Biden gave what Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson characterized as an "urgent wartime address. Just as FDR rallied Americans to avenge Japan's sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, President
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2022-08-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-26-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 28, 2022 Edition
Unvaccinated Children Barred from DC Schools
This week, Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser announced that "no unvaccinated child will be permitted to receive instruction in any school building unless they get vaccinated within the first 20 day
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2022-08-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-20-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 21, 2022 Edition
Citizens' Audit Finds Vote Fraud
A team of citizens led by Marly Hornik conducted an extensive audit of the 2020 election results for New York and uncovered evidence of massive election fraud, including unlawful election acts, misconduct of electi
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2022-08-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-12-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 14, 2022 Edition
Garland Justifies Mar-a-Lago Raid
This week, the FBI conducted an unprecedented raid on the home of former US President Donald Trump. More than two dozen FBI agents scoured the 3,000 square foot home for more than nine hours on Monday, August 8th
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2022-08-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-06-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 7, 2022 Edition
Cheneys Rant About Trump
Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo) called for the Department of Justice (DOJ) to prosecute former President Donaold Trump, "I and the other members of the January 6 Committee have done the hard part. We've made the accusations, com
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2022-07-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 31, 2022 Edition
Publication of Voter Registrations Allowed
Citing freedom of speech, U.S. District Court Judge James Browning issued a ruling barring New Mexico from prosecuting the Voter Reference Foundation (VoteRef.com) for publishing a searchable database of
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2022-07-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-23-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 24, 2022 Edition
Assassination Attempt in NY
Candidate for New York governor Rep. Lee Zeldin (R) was assaulted at a campaign event by Democrat David Jakubonis. Jakubonis was armed with a ninja-style stabbing weapon. Zeldin and a couple of his supporters were able
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2022-07-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 17, 2022 Edition
In a bid to refute contentions that they are indifferent to public suffering at the gas pump, Democrats at both the federal and local levels are taking bold steps to limit how much drivers pay to fuel their vehicles.
US Secretary of the Treasury J
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2022-07-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-08-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 10, 2022 Edition
Media React to Abe Assassination
National Public Radio (NPR), the propaganda arm of the progressive Biden Regime in America, hailed the assassination of former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, calling it "a more focused defense of democracy t
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2022-07-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-01-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 3, 2022 Edition
Gov Rejects Right of Self-Defense
New York Gov. Kathy Hochul (D) is calling for the State Legislature to reenact the strict gun control laws that the US Supreme Court explicitly struck down last week. She rejected contentions that she needed any e
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2022-06-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-25-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 19, 2022 Edition
Abject Failure at Uvalde Massacre
Col. Steve McCraw, director of the Texas Department of Public Safety, called the police response to the gunman who killed 19 children and two teachers at the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas "an abject fa
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2022-06-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-18-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 19, 2022 Edition
"Peace-Circles" to Fight Crime in Chicago
Convinced that police, prosecutors, and prisons are inhumane methods for combating crime, Chicago is trying a "peace-circle" approach. Local advocate for the idea Howard Zehr contends that "bring
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2022-06-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-11-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 12, 2022 Edition
USA Today Alters Op Ed Policy
The largest newspaper chain in the US has told its editors to modify their op ed publication policy. CEO Mike Reed cited reader complaints for the policy shift, saying "our effort to fit in with the unity theme of t
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2022-06-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-04-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 5, 2022 Edition
Treasury Secretary Confesses: "I Don't Understand Inflation"
During an interview aired on CNN's "Situation Room," Biden Administration Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen admitted "I don't understand inflation. Everyone in the Admin
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2022-05-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-27-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 29, 2022 Edition
Police Delay at Uvalde School Massacre Defended
As more facts about the law-enforcement response at the Robb Elementary School massacre become available, confidence in relying on police to save lives is being eroded. It seems that the pattern in p
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2022-05-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-20-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 22, 2022 Edition
Pelosi: America Wants Democrats to Win in November
Despite polls indicating that 80% of Americans feel the country is headed in the wrong direction, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) insists that "America wants Democrats to win the November e
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2022-05-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-14-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 15, 2022 Edition
War Time Criticism of President Improper
Unsatisfied with massive GOP support for $40 billion in aid to Ukraine in its war with Russia, House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md) slammed the few dozen Republicans who voted against the measure, insis
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2022-05-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-06-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 8, 2022 Edition
Dems React to Pending Court Reversal of Abortion Decision
An unprecedented leak of a coming Supreme Court ruling overturning the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision making abortion the law of the land has sparked a spate of panic and crazy talk from leading
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2022-04-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 1, 2022 Edition
Why Criminal Aliens Must Be Set Free Inside the US
Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas defended the Biden Administration's policy of releasing illegal immigrants with criminal records inside the US, calling it "a key fun
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2022-04-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 17, 2022 Edition
Disney Corp Defiant
Amidst polls showing that nearly 70% of Americans are appalled by the Disney Corporation's sharp turn to the left, the Company says "we will not be deterred by the forces of ignorance and prejudice. It is long past due that t
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2022-04-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-08-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 10, 2022 Edition
Dems to Make $30 Million Pitch for Black Votes
Amidst polls showing that Black voter support for the Democratic Party has fallen from 87% to 60% since Biden took office, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee is planning to invest $30 mil
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2022-04-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-01-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 3, 2022 Edition
Judge Overturns Florida Election Reform
U.S. District Judge Mark Walker wrote a 288-page decision justifying his ruling that Florida's recently enacted election integrity reforms are unconstitutional. The chief offending sections of the law includ
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2022-03-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-18-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 20, 2022 Edition
Parental Rights in Education Law Assailed
U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona and assistant secretary for health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Rachel Levine, traveled to Florida to slander that state's recent enactment
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2022-03-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-12-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 13, 2022 Edition
Biden Sick of Being Blamed for Inflation
As inflation produces rates of price increases not seen in 40 years, polls now show more than 60% of respondents holding the Biden Administration responsible. President Biden has denounced this opinion of A
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2022-03-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-04-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 6, 2022 Edition
GOP Reps Told to "Shut Up"
During his State-of-the-Union speech, President Biden made yet another attempt to exploit the death of his "heroic" son Beau from brain cancer. Unlike his disgraced son Hunter who was discharged from the Navy for
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2022-02-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-26-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 27, 2022 Edition
Biden's Ukraine Strategy Called "Brilliant"
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) called President Biden's Strategy for handling the war in Ukraine "brilliant." Asked to briefly describe the strategy, she said "no one knows what it is. Th
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2022-02-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-19-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 20, 2022 Edition
US AG Sues Over Gun-Rights Law
Attorney General Merrick Garland announced he is suing the State of Missouri claiming its recently enacted law allowing gun-owners the right to sue state or federal officials if their Second Amendment rights are viol
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2022-02-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-11-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 13, 2022 Edition
Questioning President on Inflation Disrespectful
As the inflation that the President predicted would be "only temporary" six-months ago reached a 40 year high, NBC anchor Lester Holt was chastized by Biden as "a wise guy" for bringing the
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2022-02-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-04-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 6, 2022 Edition
Mayor Rebuffs Carlson's Criticism
Fox News host Tucker Carlson pointed to the City of Baltimore's under-performing public schools as a crucial factor in the City's awful crime rate. "It's because the schools are so bad that the hordes of young p
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2022-01-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 30, 2022 Edition
Biden Causing Panic in Ukraine
President Biden's efforts to insert himself into the tense situation in Ukraine drew a sharp rebuke from Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky. Biden's warning that "Ukraine is on the brink of being sacked by Russ
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2022-01-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-22-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 23, 2022 Edition
California "Looks Like a 3rd World Country"
Viewing the aftermath of massive looting of packages from trains at a rail yard, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) professed himself "shocked that our state is starting to look like a Third World country
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2022-01-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 16, 2022 Edition
DC Announces New Vaccine Passport
The Washington, D.C. Department of Health announced that "beginning January 15, any person wanting to enter any indoor space--including government buildings, restaurants, bars, theaters, gyms, and hotels--in t
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2022-01-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-08-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 9, 2022 Edition
Biden Hails Jobs Report
Though the number of new jobs created during December fell 50% short of what his economists had been predicting, President Biden hailed the figures as "evidence of the progress we have been making to transform our economy
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2021-12-17
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-17-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 19, 2021 Edition
Airline Mask Controversy
This week, American Airlines CEO Doug Parker and Southwest Airlines CEO Gary Kelly testified before the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee on the issue of mask requirements.
Kelly said that "the ai
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2021-12-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-10-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 12, 2021 Edition
Smollett Wants Sequels
According to his attorney Nenye Uche, actor Jussie Smollett considers his recent trial and conviction for staging a fake hate-crime "riveting entertainment" and hopes to "film two sequels."
"One of his ideas is
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2021-12-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-04-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 5, 2021 Edition
Comparing Fauci to Mengele Unfair
This week in an appearance on Fox News, commentator Lara Logan reported that some people she has talked to "see parallels between Nazi Dr. Josef Mengele and Dr. Anthony Fauci. The measures Dr. Fauci has advocate
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2021-11-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-27-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 28, 2021 Edition
Mysterious Surge in Athletes Collapsing
The year 2021 has seen a five-fold increase in the number of professional of FIFA athletes dying of cardiac arrest on soccer fields. Since teams have been routinely requiring players to be vaccinated for cov
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2021-11-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-20-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 21, 2021 Edition
School Board Adviser Doxxes Parents
Norma Garcia-Lopez, co-chair of the Racial Equity Committee for the Fort Worth Independent School District in Texas, went online and posted the names, addresses and phone numbers of parents who are opposed to th
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2021-11-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-13-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 14, 2021 Edition
Biden Doing a Great Job on Economy
In an interview on MSNBC's "Morning Joe," former Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) brushed off host Joe Scarborough's concern that soaring inflation and supply chain problems "raise questions about the President
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2021-11-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-05-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 7, 2021 Edition
Vaccine Mandate Helps People Feel Safe
US Secretary of Labor Marty Walsh says "President Biden's insistance that everyone be vaccinated is essential to restoring economic growth. Right now too many people are afraid to go back to work out of fea
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2021-10-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-30-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 31, 2021 Edition
NAACP Warns Athletes about Texas
National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) president and CEO Derrick Johnson warned professional athletes against agreeing to play for teams located in Texas. The inspiration for this warnin
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2021-10-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-23-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 24, 2021 Edition
Biden Mocks "Freedom"
President Joe Biden used a CNN "town hall" where attendance was "by invitation only" to further vent his anger at those Americans "who continue to try my patience. Look, I know I said that I wouldn't make vaccin
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2021-10-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-16-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 17, 2021 Edition
Biden's Plan to Protect Us from Climate Crisis
Alleging that "Americans need more government to protect them from a systemic climate crisis," President Biden announced "a new battle line will be formed across all financial institutions. This
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2021-10-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-09-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 10, 2021 Edition
"Eff Joe Biden" Meme Disputed
The eruption of crowds chanting "Eff Joe Biden" that has been sweeping the nation at sporting events eventually confronted the President during his recent trip to Michigan where he praised the tyrannical Gov.
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2021-10-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-02-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 3, 2021 Edition
New Immigration Enforcement Guidelines
Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Alejandro Mayorkas, announced new immigration enforcement guidelines for dealing with those who have illegally entered the country, saying "given the flood
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2021-09-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-25-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 26, 2021 Edition
Biden Blames Trump
A feisty President Biden made a valiant effort to try to shift blame for the series of policy disasters that have plagued his time in office, claiming "it would be unfair of people to blame me for blunders foisted on me by my
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2021-09-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-18-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 19, 2021 Edition
Grim COVID Data from UK
The latest data from the United Kingdom paints a grim picture of the battle against the COVID-19 virus. Deaths with COVID were 58 times higher this past month than they were a year ago when no vaccines were available. Furth
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2021-09-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-11-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 12, 2021 Edition
Angry President Demands Obedience
An angry President Biden took to the airwaves to announce new marching orders for America. Despite the fact that far less than 1% of the population has been felled by COVID, 70% of the adult population having been
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2021-09-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-04-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 5, 2021 Edition
Georgia Ballot Box Stuffing
Surveillance videos of ballot drop boxes in Georgia captured evidence of tens of thousands of ballots being dumped into these boxes by a cadre of 240 political activists. These drop boxes are intended for individual vot
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2021-08-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-28-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 29, 2021 Edition
Vax Mandate to Pare Police Force
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot's mandate requiring all city officers to get the COVID-19 vaccine has been met with defiance by John Catanzara, president of the Chicago Fraternal Order of Police. "This vaccine has n
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2021-08-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-21-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 22, 2021 Edition
FBI: January 6 Capitol Riot "Not an Insurrection"
The FBI's investigation of the January 6 riot at the Capitol concludes that "it was neither an insurrection nor a coup attempt. There is no evidence that anyone organized the incursion. The a
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2021-08-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-14-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 15, 2021 Edition
COVID Tyranny Ratchets Up
In New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio's decree blocking unvaccinated persons from entering public buildings and many commercial businesses discriminates against blacks. It turns out that 72% of blacks aged 18-44 have not
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2021-08-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-07-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 8, 2021 Edition
Inability to Include Skin Color in Promotions Hurts Diversity
Chief of naval personnel Vice Adm. John Nowell Jr. wants to resume the practice of including photos of officers up for promotion in the information packets reviewed by selection boards
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2021-07-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-31-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 1, 2021 Edition
Biden Explains Fluctuating Truths About COVID
President Biden lashed out at Fox News reporter Peter Doocy for pointing out that his Administration's new mask guidelines contradict his assertion from two months ago that "if you are fully vaccinat
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2021-07-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-10-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 11, 2021 Edition
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2021-07-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-03-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 4, 2021 Edition
Court Voids Act's Ban on State Tax Cuts
U.S. District Judge Douglas Cole issued a permanent injunction against a provision in the Biden's Administration's "American Rescue Plan" that bans states from cutting taxes. Cole called the ban "an un
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2021-06-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-26-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 27, 2021 Edition
Reps Clash on Economic Policy
A recent exchange of views between Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Col) and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) revealed starkly different visions for America's future.
Boebert initiated the debate by sharply criticizing t
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2021-06-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-19-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 20, 2021 Edition
Fauci Denies "Deliberately" Suppressing Lab Leak Theory
Dr. Anthony Fauci denied that he deliberately suppressed the idea that the coronavirus could have leaked from the Wuhan lab that was experimenting on ways to enhance a bat virus to make i
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2021-06-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-12-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 13, 2021 Edition
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2021-06-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-04-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 6, 2021 Edition
Emails Confirm Fauci's Dishonesty
A cache of the email correspondence of Dr. Anthony Fauci released this past week confirms virtually every criticism of the man uttered during the COVID pandemic. Almost every statement he made regarding the virus
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2021-05-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-28-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 30, 2021 Edition
Students Protest Vaccine Tyranny
Students enrolled at the University of Maryland and at Rutgers in New Jersey demonstrated against their schools' requirement that they must take the experimental COVID vaccination to attend classes in the Fall seme
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2021-05-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-14-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 16, 2021 Edition
Jarring Info from CDC
This week the Center for Disease Control (CDC) announced that individuals who have been fully vaccinated against COVID need not wear masks or observe social distancing rules. Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky observed that "si
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2021-05-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-01-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 2, 2021 Edition
Biden "May or May Not" Force Shots
President Biden announced that he "may or may not" force everyone to get vaccinated for COVID. Calling it "one of the tough decisions a great president has to make," Biden says he is "weighing the individual's na
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2021-04-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-23-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 25, 2021 Edition
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2021-04-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-16-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 18, 2021 Edition
Biden Admin Rejects "Protect Life Rule"
The Biden Administration Department of Health and Human Services announced it will reverse the Trump Administration's "Protect Life" rule for receiving federal family planning aid, calling it "not
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2021-04-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-09-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 11, 2021 Edition
Senator Calls Defense of Economic Freedom "Craven Political Stunt"
Self-proclaimed Vietnam War hero Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) called Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' demand that the CDC lift its ban on cruise ships "a craven political stunt.
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2021-04-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-02-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 4, 2021 Edition
Dems, CEOs Oppose Voter Integrity Laws
Democrats and the CEOs of several prominent corporations slammed legislatures for passing reforms of state election procedures. Georgia's 2020 election procedures created significant ambiguities and inconsist
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2021-03-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-27-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 28, 2021 Edition
Filibuster a "Tool of Racists"
This week, Presidential Press secretary Jen Psaki argued for the elimination of the Senate Filibuster, calling it a "tool of racists. Throughout American history the Senate filibuster has been repeatedly used t
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2021-03-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-20-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 21, 2021 Edition
Biden Fall Blamed on "Climate Change"
This week President Biden fell three times on the stairs leading up to Air Force One (AF1). White House deputy press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre blamed "climate change. Scientists have been warning that
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2021-03-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-12-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 14, 2021 Edition
Biden May Allow "Small July 4th Gatherings"
In his first prime time address to the nation President Joe Biden boosted American morale by promising "we may be able to allow small July 4th gatherings, but only if everyone behaves between now a
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2021-03-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-05-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 7, 2021 Edition
Swalwell Files Billion-Dollar Lawsuit
Alleging "severe psychological trauma and irreparable damage," Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) is suing former President Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, and Rep. Mo B
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2021-02-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-27-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 28, 2021 Edition
Biden Bombs Syria
Despite vowing during a presidential debate in February 2020 that military action would be a last resort for problems in the Middle East, President Joe Biden's first action in the region since taking office last month was to orde
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2021-02-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-19-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 21, 2021 Edition
Capitol Police Officers Suspended
Acting Capitol Police Chief Yogananda Pittman announced the investigation of 35 members of the Capitol Police force and the suspension--with pay--for six of them for "their inappropriate actions during the Jan
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2021-02-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-12-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 14, 2021 Edition
Cuomo Expects to 'Skate' for Nursing Home Deaths
The recent admission by Melissa DeRosa, secretary to Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY), that the management of the COVID pandemic was bungled and then covered up, has brought demands that Cuomo be impeached
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2021-02-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-06-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 7, 2021 Edition
Biden Energy Decrees Benefit China
The Biden Administration's shift away from fossil fuels and toward so-called clean energy will boost China's economy at the expense of the US economy. China currently controls 60% of the solar industry's supply
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2021-01-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-29-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 31, 2021
Socialists Demand Monthly $2,000 Checks
Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) and 50 other House members are pushing President Biden to issue an Executive Order that would authorize "monthly $
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2021-01-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-22-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 24, 2021
Trump Undermines Congressional Authority
Ordered to vacate the corridors of the Capitol building after Rep. Will Keating (D-MA) complained that he saw a couple of the National Guard troops at a Dunkin Donuts "without wearing the masks mandated b
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2021-01-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-15-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 17, 2021
AOC Calls for Ministry of Truth
Concerned that "free speech can be abused by enemies of the Biden Administration to undermine its policies and programs," Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is calling for "the creation of a commission or so
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2021-01-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-09-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 10, 2021 Edition
Biden Says "Trump Incited Insurrection"
After the "Stop the Steal" rally held in Washington DC on Wednesday, thousands of those who attended walked over to the Capitol to protest the acceptance of electoral votes obtained by election fraud
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2021-01-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-01-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 3, 2021 Edition
De Blasio Celebrates New Year "On Behalf of Those Who Can't"
After issuing a decree banning commoners from celebrating in Times Square on New Year's eve, Democrat Mayor Bill De Blasio and his wife took advantage of the vacated space to "danc
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2020-12-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-19-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 20, 2020 Edition
Cuomo Rescinds Restroom Ban
In his continuing quest to crush the state's restaurant industry, New York's Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo issued an order banning outdoor diners from using restaurant restrooms. Spokesperson LaTrinia Johnson explained t
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2020-12-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-11-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 13, 2020 Edition
Biden Thanks "Courageous Few" Who Saved Election
Media-anointed President-Elect Joe Biden acknowledged that "Trump beat the living hell out of us across the country" and thanked "the courageous few in the swing states who went the extra
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2020-12-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-04-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 6, 2020 Edition
Allegations of Vote Fraud Rebutted
In Nevada, despite it being illegal to offer anything of value in exchange for voting, officials from the Reno-Sparks Indian Colony were videoed offering gift cards, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, T-shirts, and
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2020-11-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-27-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 29, 2020 Edition
Whitmer Nominated for Award
This week, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) was one of those nominated by Time to be its "Person of the Year." The editors praised "her pioneering efforts to transform her state from an out-dated racist republic to
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2020-11-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-21-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 22, 2020 Edition
Biden Election Puts "Great Reset" within Reach
Former Secretary of State John Kerry hailed Biden's win over Trump in the 2020 election as "the spark that will give birth to the Great Reset that so many world leaders have been touting" and
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2020-11-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-14-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 15, 2020 Edition
Trump Lawyers Doxxed
In a bid to further curry favor with a prospective Biden Administration, a group of Never-Trump Republicans and left-wing Democrats calling itself the "Lincoln Project" has published the names and addresses of two lawyers
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2020-11-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-14-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 15, 2020 Edition
Trump Lawyers Doxxed
In a bid to further curry favor with a prospective Biden Administration, a group of Never-Trump Republicans and left-wing Democrats calling itself the "Lincoln Project" has published the names and addresses of two lawyers
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2020-11-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-07-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 8, 2020 Edition
Romney Slams Trump Refusal to Concede
Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) chastised President Trump for "recklessly inflaming destructive and dangerous passions. Even if his claim of a stolen election is true, raising that issue at this late date threaten
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2020-10-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-31-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 1, 2020 Edition
Biden Campaign Takes Dark Turn
In a move even the creative writers at CNN are finding hard to explain, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden's campaign has taken a dark turn.
First he predicted "a dark winter of disease and discontent
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2020-10-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-24-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 25, 2020 Edition
NPR Says Reporting Biden Corruption "Waste of Time"
Recent revelations indicating a long-running influence peddling operation involving Biden family members--including the former Vice-President--would strike most people as being newsworthy.
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2020-10-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-16-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 18, 2020 Edition
Kelly Campaign Spokesman Apologizes
T.J. L'Heureux, Arizona Democratic Senate candidate Mark Kelly's deputy press secretary, called police "worthless fâ€"ing pigs" in a tweet posting. This week, under pressure from the campaign, he apologi
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2020-10-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-09-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 11, 2020 Edition
56% Better Off than Four Years Ago
A Gallup poll of registered voters found that 56% of respondents say they are better off than they were before Donald Trump was elected four years ago. Thirty-two percent say they are worse off and 12% say they a
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2020-10-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-02-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 4, 2020 Edition
Biden Hires Tech Execs
The Biden campaign announced that it is hiring Facebook executive Jessica Hertz to join his transition team as general counsel in charge of ethical issues. This is the Campaign's second "big tech" addition to the transit
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2020-09-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-26-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 27, 2020 Edition
Only 29% Think 2020 Elections Will Be Fair
According to a poll conducted by the Public Affairs Council, only 29% of voters think the November elections will be conducted fairly. Public Affairs Council President Doug Pinkham said "we've never s
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2020-09-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-19-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 20, 2020 Edition
Harris Wants Durham Investigation Put off
Democratic vice-presidential candidate Sen. Kamala Harris (Calif) thinks "it is improper for persons actively engaged in running for office to be investigated while the voting is underway. In fact, I bel
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2020-09-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-11-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 13, 2020 Edition
Biden Campaign Touts Innovation
Caught handing out canned questions for audience members to ask the candidate and feeding the answers to him over a teleprompter, Biden spokesman TJ Ducklo defended these strategies calling them "a new innovation
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2020-09-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-05-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 6, 2020 Edition
Prof: "It's a Biden Landslide or Four More Years of Street Violence"
Georgetown University law professor Rosa Brooks summarized the scenarios generated by her politics model as "a choice between tranquility or chaos. Of every potential elect
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2020-09-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-05-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 6, 2020 Edition
Prof: "It's a Biden Landslide or Four More Years of Street Violence"
Georgetown University law professor Rosa Brooks summarized the scenarios generated by her politics model as "a choice between tranquility or chaos. Of every potential elect
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2020-08-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-29-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 30, 2020 Edition
Rice Criticizes Pompeo's Religion
Former Obama-era national security adviser Susan Rice questioned the constitutional propriety of having Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State. "I think his public profession of his Christian faith is problematic,"
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2020-08-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-29-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 30, 2020 Edition
Rice Criticizes Pompeo's Religion
Former Obama-era national security adviser Susan Rice questioned the constitutional propriety of having Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State. "I think his public profession of his Christian faith is problematic,"
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2020-08-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-22-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 23, 2020 Edition
Biden Says Days as a Lifeguard "Prepped Me to Save America"
In a bid to persuade voters that he is the man that will save America from the evil Donald Trump, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden recalled his days as a lifeguard, saying th
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2020-08-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-14-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 16, 2020 Edition
City Council Member Praises Mob
Seattle City Council Member Kshama Sawant expressed her disgust with Police Chief Carmen Best's resignation, saying "this tool of capitalist oppression had the nerve to object to the Council's decision to reject
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2020-08-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-08-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 9, 2020 Edition
Chicago Using Social Media to Spy on Tourists
Desperate to replace the tax revenues lost due to the City's oppressive response to the COVID pandemic, Chicago Department of Public Health Commissioner Dr. Allison Arwady has authorized a widespread s
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2020-08-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-08-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 9, 2020 Edition
Chicago Using Social Media to Spy on Tourists
Desperate to replace the tax revenues lost due to the City's oppressive response to the COVID pandemic, Chicago Department of Public Health Commissioner Dr. Allison Arwady has authorized a widespread s
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2020-07-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-31-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 26, 2020 Edition
Seattle Mayor Blames Trump for Continuing Violence
Mayor Jenny Durkan (D) blamed President Trump for the bombing of the Police Department's East Precinct, saying that "his demand for law and order is provoking these attacks. As every parent of
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2020-07-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-24-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 26, 2020 Edition
Portland Gov't Demands Feds Stop Impeding Rioters
Portland city officials are demanding that the federal law enforcement personnel protecting the federal courthouse remove the barricades they installed around the building. Mayor Ted Wheeler (D) po
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2020-07-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-18-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 19, 2020 Edition
Biden Campaign Demands Debate "Fact Checkers"
Biden Campaign Chair Cedric Richmond appeared on FOX News and claimed "it would be unfair for Joe to have to go one-on-one with Trump in a debate. First of all, Trump is a racist. Joe is too poli
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2020-07-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-10-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 12, 2020 Edition
Goya CEO Won't Apologize
This week Goya Foods President and CEO Bob Unanue participated in the White House Hispanic Prosperity Initiative. The Initiative asked Hispanic business owners and managers for their ideas on how the Trump Administration c
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2020-07-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-04-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 5, 2020 Edition
Court Invalidates Louisiana Abortion Law
In a 5-4 decision, the US Supreme Court Struck down a Louisiana law requiring that persons performing abortions have admitting privileges at a nearby hospital.
In the majority opinion, Justice Stephen Br
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2020-06-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-26-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 28, 2020 Edition
Poll: Voters Turning to Dems for Protection
A new Rasmussen poll shows a plurality of voters (49%) are ready to elect former Vice-President Joe Biden "to scale back the violence that is tearing our cities apart."
A poll respondent from New
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2020-06-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-20-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 21, 2020 Edition
Cuomo: "I Won't Allow Any Trump Rallies in My State"
Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) vowed he would not permit President Trump to hold any campaign rallies in New York because "it's politically motivated. The whole purpose of these rallies is to wi
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2020-06-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-13-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 14, 2020 Edition
Biden: "George Floyd Bigger than MLK"
In a desperate bid to atone for his previous words and deeds that many are now criticizing as racist, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden asserted that "the murder of George Floyd has had a bigger
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2020-06-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-06-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 7, 2020 Edition
Biden Predicts "Landslide" Win
During a virtual town hall meeting emceed by comedian Don Cheadle, former Vice-President Joe Biden predicted he would "beat Trump by the largest margin in American history." He says he reached this conclusion
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2020-05-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-29-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 31, 2020 Edition
Battle Over Election Fraud Heats Up
Though Twitter has a lengthy record of permitting leftists to post blatant lies and evidence-free accusations, this week it took issue with President Trump's tweet warning of the risk of vote-fraud in vote-by-ma
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2020-05-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-23-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 24, 2020 Edition
Cuomo Blames Trump for Nursing Home Fiasco
Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) rebuffed criticism of his order requiring nursing homes to accept COVID-positive patients by blaming President Trump. The ordered cohabitation of infected and uninfected residents
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2020-05-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-16-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 17, 2020 Edition
Sheriff Too Busy Rearresting Criminals to Enforce Lockdown
Fresno County Sheriff Margaret Mims says her officers "are too busy repeatedly rearresting criminals released under the state's zero-dollar bail policy. We haven't the time, resources,
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2020-05-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-08-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 10, 2020 Edition
Gov Vetoes Telemedicine Bill
Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf (D) vetoed a bill that would have expanded patients' access to telemedicine services during the coronavirus lockdown because "it didn't include at home abortions." In his veto message Wol
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2020-05-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-02-2020
Solutions - SymbioSys - Create Your Own Society
Dear Ernest,
I am writing to you as I follow your work and think that you will be most interested. Over the last years I have been thinking about how humans can become independent of the control of the few over the many. I think there may be a way
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2020-04-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-24-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 26, 2020 Edition
Black Dems Face Retribution
Democratic Party leaders in Georgia and Michigan have targeted two state legislators for punishment. The "crime" of which both are accused is "breaking our Party's united front against the Trump menace," said st
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2020-04-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-18-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 19, 2020 Edition
Michigan Gov Warns Protesters
This week, thousands of Michigan citizens circled the state capitol to demonstrate their opposition to Gov. Gretchen Whitmer's tyranny. The Governor labeled this protest "irresponsible" and threatened to impose fu
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2020-04-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-11-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 12, 2020 Edition
Abuse of Authority Intensifies
Apprised of incidents in which children have been playing inside the homes of friends in their neighborhood, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D) has issued an immediate cease and desist decree. "Stay-at-home means s
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2020-04-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-04-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 5, 2020 Edition
Schumer Appalled by Trump Letter
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) expressed his disgust at "Trump's unpresidential response to my criticism of his failures. Rather than graciously acknowledge his deficiencies and resign from office, h
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2020-03-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-28-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 29, 2020 Edition
Dems Demonstrate Leadership
In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, Bill and Hillary Clinton donated more than 400 pizzas to all of the hospitals in their home county of Westchester, NY. The donation was heralded by a tweet from Hillary "thank
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2020-03-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-21-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 22, 2020 Edition
Shut Down Order Assailed
Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf's order directing all but "life-sustaining" businesses to shut down has spurred objections from several sectors. The law firm of Costopoulos, Foster & Fields asked the Pennsylvania Supreme
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2020-03-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-14-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 15, 2020 Edition
Ayatollah Says It's Okay to Accept Vaccine from Israel
Reports that Israel may soon produce a vaccine for the coronavirus prompted Iran's Grand Ayatollah Naser Makarem Shirazi to say "it's okay for Muslims to accept it." The revered cleric cit
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2020-03-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-06-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 8, 2020 Edition
Bill Clinton Touts Sex for Anxiety Relief
Former President Bill Clinton is aggrieved that "I was persecuted for trying to ease my anxieties with sexual healing. Throughout history, powerful men have been allowed to consort with concubines or mis
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2020-02-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-28-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 1, 2020 Edition
Biden Touts His Ukraine Expertise
Investigators in Ukraine have announced a probe of former U.S. Vice President Joe Biden. The issue is whether he illegally pressured the government to fire Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin in 2016.
Biden immedi
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2020-02-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-22-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 23, 2019 Edition
Bloomberg Calls Current Election Rules "Inefficient"
Democratic presidential contender and former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg lamented that "the $400 million I've had to spend on my campaign shows how inefficient the process is. No
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2020-02-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-14-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 16, 2019 Edition
Rift Between Sanders & AOC
Democratic presidential contender Sen. Bernie Sander's campaign manager Faiz Shakir is reportedly peeved over Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's neglect to sufficiently mention Sanders' name as she was campaigning on his be
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2020-02-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-08-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 9, 2019 Edition
Employment Growth Rankles Sanders
The latest employment report for the US economy has Democratic presidential contender Sen. Bernie Sanders (Vt) warning voters about "Trump's insidious plan to coerce the working class into actually working for a
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2020-01-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-31-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 2, 2019 Edition
Sanders Says Capitalism Destroys Social Bonds
Candidate for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination Sen. Bernie Sanders (Vt) took direct aim at the prosperity message of the Trump reelection campaign in his bid to become the nation's next lead
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2020-01-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-25-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 26, 2019 Edition
NJ Gov Announces Road Closure
New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy (D) announced that the main route to the Jan 28 Trump rally site in Wildwood will be closed "so work can be done to repair the roadway. I realize that the deplorables who need their regul
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2020-01-17
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-17-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 19, 2019 Edition
by John Semmens
Dems Say Booming Economy Is "Dirty Politics"
The fact that unemployment is at a 50-year low and the wages of employees have increased faster than the salaries of their bosses under the economic policies of the Trump Administration was roundly
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2020-01-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-11-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 12, 2019 Edition
Omar Warns Against Religious Fanatics Imposing Beliefs on Others
In a speech at the US House of Representatives, Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) railed against "religious fundamentalists who are trying to manipulate State laws in order to impose their belie
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2020-01-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-03-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 5, 2019 Edition
Dems Condemn Killing of Iranian Terrorists
Democratic presidential candidates hastened to condemn President Trump for authorizing the military strike that killed Iranian Quds Force commander Qasem Soleimani and Kataib Hezbollah leader Abu Mahdi al
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2020-01-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-03-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: Best of 2019 (part 1)
by John Semmens
Romney Assails Trump's Impoliteness
Incoming freshman Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) took to the pages of the Washington Post to chastise President Trump for his "unbearable impoliteness. Those of us in public service have a moral obligation to cond
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2020-01-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-03-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: Best of 2019 (part 2)
Congresswoman Demands End to Mockery
Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fla) is demanding that persons who mock members of Congress be prosecuted. "The Constitution says that members of Congress shall not be questioned in any other place," Wilson assert
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2019-12-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-28-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 29, 2019 Edition
Trump Judicial Nominees More Qualified
An analysis of the individuals nominated for appellate court positions by the last two US presidents reveals that those selected by Trump had better qualifications than those selected by Obama. A marker for t
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2019-12-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-21-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 22, 2019 Edition
Va AG Says 2nd Amendment Sanctuaries Illegal
In a bid to intimidate the 100+ local governments that have declared their jurisdictions sanctuaries for the Second Amendment right to bear arms, Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring issued an advisor
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2019-12-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-14-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 15, 2019 Edition
Nadler Says Elections "Unreliable"
House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) rejected arguments that we should allow the upcoming 2020 election to decide who will be president. "Elections are unreliable," Nadler said. "We al
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2019-12-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-14-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 15, 2019 Edition
Nadler Says Elections "Unreliable"
House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) rejected arguments that we should allow the upcoming 2020 election to decide who will be president. "Elections are unreliable," Nadler said. "We al
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2019-12-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-07-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 8, 2019 Edition
Pelosi Compares Clinton and Trump Impeachments
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) contrasted "the unwarranted impeachment of President Clinton" with "the need to remove the most dangerous man to ever hold the office. Granted, Clinton behav
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2019-11-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-30-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 1, 2019 Edition
Bloomberg Defends Tax Hikes on the Poor
Seeking to differentiate himself from what he derided as "the lunatics leading the pack of Democrats trying to become the next president by offering boatloads of free stuff," former New York City Mayor M
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2019-11-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-23-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 24, 2019 Edition
New Dem Prez Candidate Triples Support in One Week
What some observers saw as a bad sign for his newly announced bid to become the Democratic Party's 2020 presidential nominee, former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick saw as "an encouraging start
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2019-11-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-16-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 17, 2019 Edition
Trump Rule on Heath Care Pricing Assailed
This week the the Trump Administration's Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announced new rules requiring insurers and hospitals to inform patients of the cost of 300 common procedures and tests
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2019-11-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-08-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 10, 2019 Edition
Biden Says State Dept Emails Prove Son's Value to Burisma
Democratic presidential contender former Vice-President Joe Biden glommed onto recently revealed email correspondence within the US State Department during 2016 as "proof my son's work on
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2019-11-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-01-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 3, 2019 Edition
Warren's Free Health Care for All Plan Costs $52 Trillion
This week, Democratic presidential contender Sen. Elizabeth Warren unveiled her much-touted "free health care for all" plan. The estimated ten-year cost of $52 trillion will be entirely
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2019-10-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-26-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 27, 2019 Edition
Impeachment Junta Cries Foul
The two Congressional Democrats conducting the secret trial of President Trump denounced Attorney General William Barr's decision to open a criminal investigation of the origins of the FBI/Obama Administration's effo
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2019-10-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-18-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 20, 2019 Edition
Trump Admin Looking at Motel 6 for G-7 Summit
A leak from inside the White House indicates that the Trump Administration is considering holding next June's G-7 Summit at a Motel 6 in Newark, New Jersey. The leak alleges that President Trump expres
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2019-10-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-11-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 13, 2019 Edition
NBA Distances Itself from Hong Kong Protesters
This week, the National Basketball Association (NBA) took steps to try to distance itself from a tweet by the Houston Rockets' general manager Daryl Morey. In his tweet, Morey urged "Fight for Freed
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2019-10-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-04-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 6, 2019 Edition
Dems Assail Scrutiny of Their Business Dealings
Revelations that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's son, like former Vice-President Joe Biden's son, had a cozy deal with a Ukrainian oil company bolstered her determination to press ahead with impeachment
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2019-09-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-27-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 29, 2019 Edition
NY Mayor Takes Hard Line on "Illegal Aliens"
Now that he has dropped out of the race for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is free to indulge in his favorite pastime--shafting the citizens and res
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2019-09-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-20-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 22, 2019 Edition
Candidate Comes Out Against Meat and Autos
In a bid to outflank his Democratic presidential rivals, entrepreneur Andrew Yang vowed to "severely curtail the consumption of meat" and "do away with privately owned and operated automobiles."
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2019-09-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-13-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 15, 2019 Edition
Highlights of the September Dem Presidential Debate
Further evidence that the roster of competitors for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination has no worthy candidates was exhibited as ten contenders offered their insane and tyrannical policy
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2019-09-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-06-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 8, 2019 Edition
CNN Climate Debate Publicizes Democrats' Dictatorial Impulses
The 7-hour marathon Democrat town hall on climate change broadcast by CNN gave free rein to the worst impulses of the presidential contenders who participated. Even those who couldn't p
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2019-08-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-30-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 1, 2019 Edition
Kerry Announces Potential Deal with Iran
This week, former Secretary of State for the Obama Administration John Kerry announced that he has negotiated a deal to reduce tensions between Iran and the United States.
"It was tough going," Kerry
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2019-08-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-23-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 25, 2019 Edition
Buttigieg Blames Trump for Mental Illness
Democratic presidential candidate, South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg latched on to what he characterized as "the irony of Trump's insistence that mental illness is the key source of mass shootings when it
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2019-08-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-10-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 11, 2019 Edition
Castro Defends Doxxing Trump Supporters
This week, Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-Tex), campaign manager for presidential candidate former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julian Castro, tweeted the names and places of employment for 44 San Anto
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2019-08-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-02-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 4, 2019 Edition
NY Bans Arming Teachers
Despite a study by the Crime Prevention Research Center showing that nearly 90% of the mass shootings in America occur in "gun-free zones," the New York legislature has just enacted a law that bans schools from allowing
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2019-07-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-20-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 21, 2019 Edition
Kerry Hails Iran's Seizures in Gulf
While much of the world seems to regard Iran's seizing of ships near the Straits of Hormuz as"troubling," former US Secretary of State John Kerry called these actions "gratifying. I've been advising the go
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2019-07-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-12-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 14, 2019 Edition
Mueller Testimony Delayed
It looks like Special counsel Robert Mueller's testimony before Congress will not take place on July 17 as originally planned. House Judiciary Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) is trying to get Mueller to appear before his
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2019-07-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-05-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 7, 2019 Edition
Biden Promises to Fight for the Presidency
Smarting from assessments that he lost the first debate of the 2020 presidential campaign, former Vice-President Joe Biden offered to "roll up my sleeves and fight for the right to lead this country. Yo
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2019-06-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-29-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 30, 2019 Edition
Dems Promise Free Health Care for All
As candidate after candidate insisted that health care is a human right, the entire field of 2020 Democratic presidential contenders found themselves unable to exclude any human being from the enjoyment of thi
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2019-06-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-21-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 23, 2019 Edition
Dem Senators Want to Restore Pre-Trump Economy
Determined to undo what they called "the wrenching changes inflicted on America by Trump's tax cuts," Sens. Ron Wyden (D-OR) and Chris Van Hollen (D-MD) are proposing a "Long-Term Unemployment A
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2019-06-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-15-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 16, 2019 Edition
Calif Dem Wants Felons on Juries
California State Senator Nancy Skinner (D-Berkeley) has introduced legislation (SB 310) that would put convicted felons on juries. Current law bars ex-cons from serving on juries--a practice that Skinner calls "
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2019-06-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-07-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 9, 2019 Edition
Moscow Belittles D-Day Significance
Miffed by the attention being paid to the heroes of the 1944 Allied sea-borne assault on Nazi-held France, Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova called the D-Day event "relatively insignificant
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2019-05-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-31-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 2, 2019 Edition
Dem Signals Support for Secret Police
Alarmed by the Department of Justice probe into the intelligence community's spying on the Trump campaign and presidency, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif) urged Director of National
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2019-05-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-24-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 26, 2019 Edition
Dems Rail Against Barr Investigation
President Trump's decision to give Attorney General William Barr a free hand in determining which documents related to the intelligence community's covert operation to take down the Trump Administration can be
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2019-05-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-18-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 19, 2019 Edition
Presidential Candidates Compete to Promise Most "Free Stuff"
This week, the number of announced Democratic presidential contenders reached 23. The crowded field left many desperate to generate interest in their candidacies. Front-runner, forme
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2019-05-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-10-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 12, 2019 Edition
Dem Wants to Revive Star Chamber Court
Frustrated with the unsatisfactory results of the Mueller Report, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) wants to initiate Congressional trials for members of the Trump Admini
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2019-05-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-03-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 5, 2019 Edition
Dems Demand Copy of Unredacted Mueller Report
Despite the fact that the copy of the Special Counsel's released to the public shows less than 10% was redacted and despite the fact that a completely unredacted copy is available for key members of Co
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2019-04-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-26-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 28, 2019 Edition
Brennan Defends Conspiracy Against Trump
Former CIA Director John Brennan rebutted President Trump's characterization of the actions of a deep-state cabal to try to prevent his election and undermine his presidency as "an attempted coup."
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2019-04-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-20-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 21, 2019 Edition
Swalwell Defends Secret Surveillance of Trump
Now that the lengthy and expensive Mueller investigation has failed to find any evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians, Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) still defends the origina
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2019-04-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-12-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 14, 2019 Edition
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2019-04-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-05-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 7, 2019 Edition
Islamic Activist Defends Attacks on Jews
Women's March leader Linda Sarsour rallied to the defense of Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), who has been criticized for mouthing stereotypical tropes about the evil influence of Jewish money in politics.
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2019-03-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-29-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 31, 2019 Edition
Smollett Exonerated by State Attorney
Hoaxer Jussie Smollett announced his exoneration after Kim Foxx, State Attorney for Cook County, Illinois dismissed all charges against him. "The racist persecution of me by the Chicago Police Department has
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2019-03-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-23-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 24, 2019 Edition
Dems Want $100 Million to Deal With Street Defecation
Reps. Barbara Lee (D-Calif) and Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn) are proposing a federal grant program that would provide $100 million per year to cities to fund diapers.
"As we have seen, many of ou
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2019-03-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-15-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 17, 2019 Edition
Admitted Thief Throws Hat in Race for Dem Presidential Nomination
This week, Robert "Beto" O'Rourke, the Kennedyesque former Texas Democrat Representative and failed Senate candidate, changed course and declared he will run for his Party's nom
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2019-03-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-08-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 10, 2019 Edition
Unable to cobble together a majority of her Party willing to vote for a resolution condemning the repeated anti-Semitic propaganda issuing forth from Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) was able to get an insipid statement opposi
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2019-03-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-01-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 3, 2019 Edition
Biden Apologizes for Calling VP Pence "Decent"
Caving to left-wing criticism, former Vice-President Joe Biden apologized for calling current Vice-President Mike Pence "a decent guy." The criticism focused on two key complaints. First, actr
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2019-02-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-23-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 24, 2019 Edition
Smollett Hoax Excused
This week, Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson announced that actor Jussie Smollett's claim that two Trump supporters assaulted him after his January 29th 2 A.M. run to Subway for a tuna sandwich was a hoax.
"Sus
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2019-02-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-15-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 17, 2019 Edition
Trump's Border Emergency Called "Unlawful"
Given Congress' provision of only a small token appropriation of $1.4 billion to fund a mere 55 miles of border barriers, President Trump used his constitutional designation as Commander-in-Chief of t
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2019-02-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-09-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 10, 2019 Edition
Green New Deal: Time Travel to the Past
This week the lunatic caucus of the Democratic Party unveiled its touted "Green New Deal" plan to save the planet. Key features of the plan include putting an end to air travel, eliminating meat from the
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2019-02-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-01-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 3, 2019 Edition
Decline in Shark Attacks Assailed
The latest report from the International Shark Attack File indicates that shark attacks on humans in 2018 declined by more than 20% from 2017 figures. Director of the Florida Museum of Natural History's shark re
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2019-01-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-25-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 27, 2019 Edition
CNN Reporters' Latest Delusions
CNN's chief White House correspondent Jim Acosta says he is writing a book about his sufferings under the evil Trump regime.
"The gist of the story follows my heroic efforts to bring the truth to the American p
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2019-01-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-18-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 20, 2019 Edition
Trump Reversal of Obama School Discipline Policy Harms Minorities
The Trump Administration's intention to eliminate the "racially balanced" regulations promulgated by former President Obama's "Dear Colleague Letter" was condemned by former
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2019-01-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-11-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 13, 2019 Edition
Black Caucus Demands Course Correction for US
Rep. Karen Bass (D-Calif), chairperson of the 55-member Congressional Black Caucus (CBC), the most numerous in our nation's history, has set the Caucus' sights on "reversing the trauma inflicted on p
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2019-01-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-04-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 6, 2019 Edition
Pelosi Says Building Border Wall Immoral
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) stood by her pledge to "not appropriate a single dollar for a border wall" contending that "building such a wall would be immoral."
"Look, building a
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2019-01-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-01-2019
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: Best of 2018, Part 3
MSNBC Panel Agrees "Trump Supporters Are Selfish"
A panel hosted by MSNBC anchor Stephanie Ruhle unanimously agreed that Trump supporters, unlike those who oppose him, are "selfish." Ruhle set the tone, saying that "the morally reprehens
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2018-12-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-28-2018
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 30, 2018 Edition
Special Counsel to Implement a "Nude Selfie" Strategy
Robert Mueller, the Special Counsel appointed to investigate possible collusion between the Trump presidential campaign and Russia, has opened a new front after discovering a "nude selfie
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2018-12-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-21-2018
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 23, 2018 Edition
Planned Parenthood Explains Policy Toward Pregnant Employees
A New York Times story describing the organization's discrimination toward pregnant employees was dismissed by Planned Parenthood's management. Newly appointed president Leana Wen explai
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2018-12-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-14-2018
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 16, 2018 Edition
Comey Defends Actions Against Trump
Fired FBI Director James Comey followed up his amnesiac performance in his testimony before House Judiciary and Oversight committees with a bit of self-congratulatory boasting about his cleverness.
"While I
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2018-12-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-07-2018
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 9, 2018 Edition
Ocasio-Cortez Vows to Get Revenge on Trump Jr.
Newly elected Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-MY) vowed to "mete out sweet revenge" in response to Donald Trump Jr. sharing a meme predicting that if her socialist views are implemented Americans
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2018-11-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-30-2018
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 2, 2018 Edition
CNN Cites "Oppression" of Caravan as "Impeachable Offense"
According to CNN's Jim Acosta, the revelation that persons in the United States illegally are entitled to more than $40,000 a year in federal benefits "casts a sinister light on
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2018-11-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-23-2018
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 25, 2018 Edition
Clinton Calls for Tough Talk on Immigration
This past week, former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned European politicians that "the lack of tough-sounding rhetoric regarding immigrants and refugees has paved the way for right-wing pop
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