The Broward-Palm Beach New Times tells the tale of a local and wealthy entrepreneur who became one of the many thousands to “lose” his property at the TSA’s checkpoint — in this case, a Montblanc pen costing $450.

A brown-sorry, blue-shirted thug  “found” it — or, as the New Times puts it, “casually grabbed a stray pen that was sitting by the sign-out sheet.”