n a never-ending tale of illegitimate children, cocaine-fueled nights, one-night stands with a veritable harem of women, and potential high (see what I did there?) treason, America's First Son, Hunter Biden, is now in the legal fight for his life: the fight over whether to pay his stripper baby mommy alimony and whether to recognize their shared daughter as an actual Biden. 

Of course, denying the existence of babies is something that the Democrats are spectacularly good at. Unlike abortion, though, when child support is involved, the courts generally take the side of the baby. 

Hunter Biden Learns a Lesson

Hunter Biden has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be the father of this child.

The mother seeks not only child support from the grotesquely wealthy Hunter Biden, but she also wants her daughter to use the Biden name.

This is a non-starter for Hunter Biden, who insists that the child using his last name would do more damage to the toddler than it would help her. 

Alas, Hunter Biden forgot the number one rule of being a semi-professional cad: never antagonize a motivated stripper.