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More About: Politics: Republican Campaigns

Pot Roasts Running for Office

Winston Churchill said that democracy is the worst form of government, except for all others.    

Whether Churchill was right or wrong, campaign commercials now running 24/7 are certainly the worst form of advertising, even worse than commercials about erections lasting 24 hours. 

Campaign commercials and erection commercials have something in common:  They're about someone getting screwed.

Many candidates nowadays profess to be something other than a politician, although they are running for political office.  Maybe they are actually pot roasts.

Strangely, after professing not to be politicians, the pot roasts spout political platitudes, just like politicians do.  Examples:  "I'm not beholden to special interests."  "I'm not part of the establishment."  "I'll do what's right for the nation."  "I'll keep ISIS from attacking Poughkeepsie."  "I'll put a chicken in every pot."

Then the pot roasts list the special interests that they will protect, just as politicians do:  "I won't cut Social Security and Medicare."  "I'll restore defense spending."  "I'll reduce class sizes."  "I'll make college affordable."  "I'll give firefighters and the police the resources to keep us safe."  "I'll let you keep your favorite subsidy."

And just like politicians, the pot roasts never say what they're going to take away, although the nation's decline can only be arrested by Americans getting less stuff from the government and working longer, harder and smarter.   Saving the nation is not any more complicated than that, but nothing is more complicated than that.

Of course politics is self-interest.  And special interests are nothing more than individuals with the same self-interest banding together and voting for someone who will further their interests, usually at the expense of someone else.  An example is the band of marauders known as teacher unions.  Another example is the band of marauders known as the Federal Reserve and its member banks.

If everyone's self-interest were the same, there would be no need for politicians or political parties, for there would be no contention, no conflict, no controversy, and no wars.  However, for everyone's self-interest to be the same, everyone would have to have the same abilities, the same drive, the same values, the same beliefs, and the same moral rectitude.  For this utopia to exist, there could be no scoundrels, crooks, liars, cheats, control freaks, or, to be redundant, no Clintons.

Politics runs on lies.  We say that we want Honest Abe in office but actually want Tricky Dick.  We especially want liars who lie to us about our own self-interest and selfishness—who tell us that we're not the problem; that it's the other guy, not us, who is selfish, greedy, self-serving, un-American, and shortsighted.    

For this lie to work, we have to lie to ourselves.  We have to believe that we truly aren't the problem, have to be blind to our own hypocrisy, and have to be able to rationalize our glaring contradictions.   For example, a conservative might rail against big government but then be in favor of tax-subsidized sports stadia because he likes sports.  Similarly, a liberal has to be a mental gymnast or nincompoop to believe that free college doesn't cost anything.

People say they hate politicians, when in actuality their hatred of politicians is a form of unconscious self-loathing.  It's hard to like yourself when you vote for a crook like Hillary Clinton or a crackpot like Donald Trump. 

Then, in an embarrassing display of cognitive dissonance, voters blame the politicians they elected for making the nation's problems worse, instead of blaming themselves for electing them.  They're like a ventriloquist blaming his dummy instead of himself for being a bad actor.

Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson has it right in his campaign commercials.  He says that whether you vote Republican or Democrat, you'll end up with more deficit spending, bigger government, and more wars. 

But Johnson is not electable, for three reasons:  One, he subscribes to the libertarian principle that the primary purpose of government is to protect life and liberty, not to take stuff from some people and give it to others; two, he is not a liar; and three, he does not pretend to be a pot roast.

Granted, I could be lying to myself about him.

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