Don't forget homes should be labeled: "May contain asbestos and lead known to cause cancer, birth defects, pulmonary distress and mental retardation."  

"Sick building symptom may occur by occupying this household." 

"Warning may catch fire, present electrocution hazard or collapse." 

"In case of broken plumbing call the National Fish & Wildlife Service to find out if property is now a protected wetland."  

"This house brought to you by permitting."