The metastasizing of federal laws has ensured that seemingly innocuous behavior without any criminal intent behind it can lead to a conviction for a federal crime. Artists, doctors, and even professional baseball players have reason to fear the federal gaze. Indeed, no professional sector is safe from serious liability; no sector, that is, save the government itself. As death-row-exoneree John Thompson will undoubtedly show in his upcoming United States tour advocating against prosecutorial abuse, public servants are held to a much lower standard than their citizen masters, and even the most egregious of their crimes go unpunished, as notions of “prosecutorial immunity” are used to protect the criminal and the negligent.