At an event that was long past his campaign's expiration date, Newt Gingrich ended his presidential campaign at a press conference Wednesday afternoon in Virginia.

"Today I am suspending the campaign, but suspending the campaign does not mean suspending citizenship," [huh?] Gingrich said. He thanked Rick Perry, Herman Cain and casino mogul and super PAC donor Sheldon Adelson, among others.

 [How about thanking the idiots who loaned your campaign $4 million they likely will never see again.]