The Bodyguard Blanket, made by a company called ProTecht, is a bulletproof 5/16-inch pad, made from the same materials used by our military, except it's for kids. They even come in different sizes. 

If mass shootings weren't such an integrated part of our culture, you'd think this was an SNL skit or an Onion article. Kids are being gunned down in their 1st grade classrooms, but what can we do? No we're not talking about gun laws, just arm your children with these bulletproof shields, you'll sleep easier at night.

Here are some facts about the blanket, according to the company's website. The bold statements are direct quotes.

Bodyguard blanket can be easily fastened around a child or adult, and is amazingly lightweight.