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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Clinton Targets Every Trump Supporter Buoyed by polls showing Democrats are favored to win control over Congress in this year's elections, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton asserted "it's time that every member of the MAGA movement be held
After President Trump announced a million-dollar reward for anyone who reported voter fraud, Democrats unveiled a counteroffer of one million and one dollars to not report voter fraud.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Why Iran Needs Nuclear Weapons Ahmad Bakhshayesh Ardestani, a member of Iran's Parliament, argues that "we need nuclear weapons to deter our enemies from infringing on our right to conquer the world for Allah. Islam is not a 'cheek-turning' faith.
President Donald Trump faced heavy criticism on Friday for replacing White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia with Jessica Rabbit.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Dems' "Medicare for All" Includes Illegal Aliens While several Democrats have declared that Republican predictions that voting for Democrats will lead to Medicare benefits being given to illegal aliens are a lie, Sen. Bernie Sanders' "Medicare
The White House Press Secretary explains how there's nothing to see with Trump's son's getting $6 Billion in government contracts via defense companies they're invested in...
The Pentagon confirmed on Friday that domestic terrorist Nidal Hasan would be publicly executed in a spectacular event hosted by Ryan Seacrest.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Arresting Illegal Aliens Ruled "Arbitrary & Capricious" Judge P. Kevin Castel for the Southern District of New York ruled that "any ICE arrest of a person who enters the country without legal authorization that doesn't occur at the scene of the co
The nation has reportedly slipped into a period of deep sadness and introspection after learning that Iran may not actually nuke Los Angeles.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Federal Law Barring Non-Citizen Voting Ruled Unconstitutional US District Judge David Leibowitz dismissed a case against Florida non-citizen resident Chelsea Cox for voting in the 2020 election on the grounds that "under the US Constitution each s
The British government issued an official public apology on Tuesday for interrupting whatever it was the nice Muslim men in unmarked vans were doing at 1:00 a.m. outside a military base used by U.S. forces.
A ceasefire has taken hold in the Middle East after President Trump and Iran both forgot whose turn it was to bomb the other.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Sanders Proposes New AI Bureaucracy Fearful that unrestrained development of artificial intelligence could lead to human extermination, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) has introduced legislation that would establish a new federal Department of Artifici
...In The North
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Merz Acknowledges Loss of US's "Unconditional Love" In a campaign speech, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz acknowledged that "the era of unconditional love that the US has shown to Europe since World War II are over. The generosity that every US p
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson confirmed that weeks of constant thumb-twiddling had left representatives exhausted and in dire need of a vacation.
In his latest attempt to entice voters to turn out for the November midterm elections, President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that he was promising to bring back $5 footlongs if Republicans retained control of both houses of Congress.
AI startup Anthropic held a press conference on Monday to proudly announce that its models would bring about the total extinction of the human race significantly faster than competitor OpenAI.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Do Ilhan Omar's Crimes Warrant Punishment? This is a question Department of Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin is mulling. "I mean, marrying your brother so he could gain entry into the US as a spouse is fraud. Since she was married to a
In the wake of Lindsay Clancy's murder case ending in a mistrial, several jurors have publicly accused the lone holdout juror of being stubbornly hung up on the technicality that the defendant had, in fact, committed the crimes she was accused of.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Majority of Dems Favor Socialism A new CBS News/YouGov poll found that 58% of Democrats have a positive view of socialism and only 32% have a favorable view of capitalism. When Republicans and independents are added in 35% of all voters have a fav
After seventeen hours of deliberations over the span of three days, a jury was still struggling to decide whether murder is wrong.
Former Fox News host turned podcaster Tucker Carlson released a groundbreaking 380th consecutive episode criticizing the one country that Carlson says no one is allowed to criticize.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Governor Restricts Welfare to Necessities Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla) announced that the state's use of federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program will be modified, saying "taxpayer-funded assistance should help families put food
Though the U.S. national debt officially surpassed $40 trillion this week, Congress was quick to assure Americans that the issue could be easily fixed by spending more money.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Stop Nick Shirley Act Becomes Law California State Assemblymember Mia Bonta (D-Oakland) hailed the passage of Assembly Bill 2624 and predicted "it will end the reign of terror being inflicted on our state by rogue reporter Nick Shirley. This inexp
U.S. -- The United States of America plunged into collective sorrow and mourning yesterday upon learning the devastating news that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would be moving back to England.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
States Sue Feds on Commercial Driver Licensing Twenty-one states governed by Democrats have sued the federal government, calling its efforts to efforts to keep dangerous drivers off the nation's highway "an invasion of privacy." Illinois Attorney
