Russian spy ship patrolling off U.S. East Coast!! — Oh, it says way, way off the east coast like in the "routine." So upsetting for a second though, huh? And never-you-mind US ships in the Black, Baltic and Arctic seas.
Trump Campaign Aides Had Repeated Contacts With Russian Intelligence!! — Oh, "The officials interviewed in recent weeks said that, so far, they had seen no evidence of such cooperation [on the election] … The officials would not disclose many details, including what was discussed on the calls, the identity of the Russian intelligence officials who participated, and how many of Mr. Trump's advisers were talking to the Russians. It is also unclear whether the conversations had anything to do with Mr. Trump himself."
CNN version of same story: Oh My God! Treason!! — Oh. "Officials emphasized that communications between campaign staff and representatives of foreign governments are not unusual. However, these communications stood out to investigators due to the frequency and the level of the Trump advisers involved. Investigators have not reached a judgment on the intent of those conversations. … These officials cautioned the Russians could have been exaggerating their access. … The FBI and US intelligence agencies continue to try to determine what the motive for the communications were."
Russia deploys new treaty-breaking nuclear cruise missile!! — Oh, no they developed it a decade ago and the US has now renamed it on their assumption that it may have been deployed somewhere. In other news Michael R. Gordon still has a job at the New York Times.