The lady there told me I'd have to call technical support to get it working.

Turned out she was wrong.

When I got back home, I plugged it in, connected the fibre and snapped in the four Ethernet cables we have snaking around the apartment — it started working automatically.

So I didn't bother calling tech support.

Instead, the next day they called me.

"I'm calling to virtually set up your modem and get you online," said the tech guy.

"But it's working fine."

"Strange. On my side, it's showing there's no WiFi."

"That's fine by me. I'm using Ethernet cables."

"You don't want WiFi?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I gave him three reasons:

WiFi slows down the high-speed fibre optic connection I'm paying a premium for.
WiFI is less secure.
WiFI poses physical and mental health risks with long-term exposure.
I then joked about how having WiFi means I would have to spend more money on tin-foil hats.

He laughed and said he agreed with all three points.

Apparently, I wasn't the first customer to say no to WiFry.