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Fred to Save Planet


Hillary Billary Dock
The wench should watch the clock
The times they are a'changin'
The Pentagon runs amok

~ Milton

I fear that I shall have to take the helm of the nation, to see that the ship of state founder not on vast shoals of idiots. (This is a full-service column.) You may ask, “Fred, why do you think yourself competent to do this?” To which I reply, Consider what we have. Do you prefer assured disaster to a gleam of hope?

Now, to work.

The military: My first step will be to discard strategic imbecility as national policy, thus unemploying a great many strategic imbeciles. Henceforth the armed forces will concern themselves with defending the United States – not Korea, Japan, Afghanist-freaking-stan for god’s sake, nor Europe nor the back side of the moon nor the nether reaches of the Crab Nebula. Just America. You know, that place between Canada and Mexico.


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