(satire) Jesse, would you, Ernest, Alex Jones and David Icke shut the fook up? What`s the big fuss about this police state? I`ve always paid taxes, followed the golden rule, and obeyed police. I was among the LAST ONES to turn off my TV and now I`m tickled pink because now my wife and I:

1. Dont have to fret about getting rolled after stumbling drunk out of the tavern at 3AM. They lock the gate early here at the detention center.

2. Get to play monopoly, checkers and poker with the other camp members. This sure beats having to cook and clean the house for my wife even though its lights out at 9 PM sharp.

3. Get to watch all the old reruns of Dr. Kildare and Days of our Lives at our leisure. Oops, I almost forgot John Wayne, Roy Rogers and Sugarfoot too, even the Dallas Cowboys and Bugs Bunny! We were relieved to learn that old 1950s Dick Clark American Bandstand shows were NOT listed on the selection program. Rock & Roll Shows like that corrupted our nation`s youth in the first place.

4. Thankfully we dont have to worry about which cancer treatment is better as chemotherapy is the only option here. I`m certain I`ll be among the few who survive the treatment. They dont know what a battler I am. I always suspicioned that naturopathics was a quack profession anyway. I asked the doc about the supposed hazards of fluoridated toothpaste and she just laughed and said "why would we provide you with an unlimited supply of fluoride toothpaste free of charge if we thought it was detrimental to your health"? That sure relieved my anxiety in a roaring big hurry.

5. Can receive the best piles treatment in the world = surgery involving either sclerotherapy, banding or infrared coagulation.

6. Can receive the best weak heart treatment in the world = a coronary bypass operation. Sometimes I do wonder though why its the only option being offered but of course this is irrelevant.

7. Get to play our favorite music, Lanza, Pavarotti and the Philharmonic Orchestras, 24 hours a day and as loud as we want to without fretting about the neighbors calling the cops. Thankfully they dont permit Elvis Presley type trash music here.

8. Get to hear a REAL train arriving an departing bringing and taking away people. It beats to death my plastic home choo choo set. Sometimes I wonder though why trains with regular see-thru windows bring people here but when it comes time for them to leave, they pull the curtain down preventing you from seeing them go. I picked the lock on the window once, pulled up the curtain and even then I could`nt see them due to another curtain on the departing platform. The train windows even had one way glass preventing us from seeing inside. Another thing is why no one says anything on the departure platform, all you hear are the faint sounds of little wheels rolling over the floor. Guess they`re just too depressed having to leave to say anything. Thankfully I learned that after folks leave here they never answer my mail, so now I dont bother to try anymore saving meself both time and mun.

Never mind the affliction

Bopperism is the cure

jukit babalu

jukit.wordpress.com