In a nation that incarcerates more people than any other, New York City hopes to jail a hefty proportion of its residents, too. The Daily News reports that the City now boasts more than a million "open bench warrants" for such heinous "crimes" as "drinking a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon on a West Village stoop" and "walking a dog without a leash." The News lies somewhere to the left of Pravda, but even it marvels that an eighth of New Yorkers could languish in the pokey, which "number of outlaws ... nearly matches the population of Dallas."