Hey, chemtrail truthers: scientists are tired of your conspiracy theories. So tired, in fact, that they've published a peer-reviewed study telling you how tired they are.

And guess what? While sympathetic to your paranoia, they think your fear-mongering is distracting people from problems that actually need addressing. Like, say, pollution, public health, or the apocalyptic threat of climate change.

"I felt it was important to definitively show what real experts in contrails and aerosols think," said co-author Ken Caldeira, a professor of global ecology at the Carnegie Institution for Science, in a statement. "We might not convince die-hard believers that their beloved secret spraying program is just a paranoid fantasy, but hopefully their friends will accept the facts."

Chemtrails, according to the surprisingly-not-Geocities-hosted website "Chemtrails 911," are defined as chemical-laden vapor trails dispersed throughout the sky by covert government operatives. Conspiracy theorists believe the United States is either modifying the weather or committing biowarfare on its citizens. Their proof, they say, is the notion that chemtrails last longer than normal contrails, or those "clouds" you see behind aircraft and rockets.

According to an international study conducted in 2011, approximately 17 percent of people support the existence of a secret large-scale atmospheric program.