You know, like the CDC should stop lying to Americans, and experimental drugs we don't need for a disease that's basically run its course ought to be painstakingly safety-tested.

Galling, right? I mean it would be like the buzzkill lifeguard announcing that they were going to insist the pool has water in it before letting kids dive in, or an airplane mechanic suggesting a thorough engine check prior to take-off. Seriously, when did people get so responsible? What ever happened to flirting with danger; taking a few fun risks; living on the edge?

This week's tips will go toward the purchase of this mug. But actually.

Despite the hysterical attacks, Kennedy was in peak fighting form. The first smackdown was at the expense of Oregon Senator Ron "were you lying then or are you lying now" Wyden. [Note: I've taken the liberty of paraphrasing all of the dialogue here, but I promise you, my version is way more fun while still capturing the sentiments expressed. I'm including links to the actual content so that you can verify.]

Wyden: "Kennedy wears a tin hat when he's at home alone. I saw it through the window when I was camped out in his bushes."

Kennedy: "I'm sorry, how many eons have you been pretending to play a public servant on TV? Six hundred? All I know is that you've been warming that bench since before chronic disease in kids was even a thing and now more than three out of every four children is saddled with some awful, preventable condition. And how many times have you asked why is this happening? How many times did you express your deep concern? How many committees have you formed or studies have you ordered to address it? Hang on, let me look [pretends to check notes]. Oh yeah, zero.

Wyden: Just today, the CDC director you fired told the always accurate and never biased Wall Street Journal that you instructed her to pre-approve any and all recommendations from your hand-picked posse of anti-vaxxers. Is that true?

Kennedy: No, in fact, it's not. And every single meeting we had during her sweeping twenty-seven day tenure was packed with people, so let me know if you'd like me to round up some witnesses for you.

Wyden: So, you're calling Dr. Monarez a liar?

Kennedy: I am, Senator. But only because she's lying.