I have developed a corollary based on my personal observations. It's a simple equation to determine how much security is needed for a particular person.

Sreq = AC + C where:

Sreq = the security required
C = the level of celebrity involved
A = the level of asshattery attributable to the celebrity

As you can see, security requirements increase with both the celebrity and asshattery of the celebrity.

There's a lot of security in Pittsburgh right now, and not much celebrity. Make of that what you will.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the dumpster torpedo: