In a stunning breakthrough, researchers have found that old people are spending more time watching young people not watch TV.

"I have to watch them all the time" said one under-slept parent. "If it's not porno, it's violence and if it's not that, it's violent porno" said the parent. "Things were so much better when it was just television" the parent concluded.

Researchers have concluded that all across the land, parents are increasingly neglecting work and other adult routines to pretty much just sit around and monitor their children's behavior. "It's having a serious impact on our nation's productivity" said one researcher.