The Petition on Behalf of the Distracted Drivers

08-25-2009 • Michael Rompicazzi

A timely law, good gentlemen! In combining thousands of statistics, relevant hearsay, and the practice of coercive compliance, you concern yourself with your constituent, the citizen of Virginia . You wish to free him from the pain and tragedy of motor vehicle accidents caused by distracted driving. We, the citizens, however, feel the letter of the law must be taken farther. You have not pursued the affair to its conclusion: distracted driving is only a secondary offense, the fines are miniscule [$50], and despite the implementation of this law, motor vehicle accidents continue to rise in Northern Virginia and across the state!

We, the constituents of Virginia , humbly request that you pass a law banning all driving distractions. Away with the use of cell phones, GPS systems, and the radio, that entertainer [distracter]! Let us cast billbo