John Semmens
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John Semmens has been writing political satire from a libertarian/conservative perspective since 2005. Readers have favorably compared his work to that of Jonathan Swift, calling it "better than the Onion," "positively, freakin' brilliant," and "great and brutally honest satire." An archive of some of his past work can be found at
Current Columns and Articles |
2025-12-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-06-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 7, 2025 Edition
J6 Pipe Bomber Arrest Oddities
This week, the Trump Administration's Department of Justice (DOJ) arrested Brian Cole Jr. for planting the pipe bombs discovered outside the Republican National Committee (RNC) and the Democratic National Committee (
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2025-11-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-28-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 30, 2025 Edition
Somali Fraud in America
Sympathy for the suffering that Somalis were enduring in their war-torn country in the 1990s led to the importation of thousands of them to the US. A huge number of them were relocated to Minnesota where they have since bee
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2025-11-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-22-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 23, 2025 Edition
Dems Urge Troops to Disobey "Illegal" Orders
This week, a six-pack of Democrat members of Congress urged federal military and intelligence officers to disobey "illegal orders." The six included Sen. Elissa Slotkin (Mich), Sen. Mark Kelly (Az), Rep
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2025-11-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-14-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 16, 2025 Edition
SNAP Scandal Wastes Billions
The government shutdown that caused an interruption in the payment of Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits also revealed some disturbing aspects of the program. The most immediate impact was the ou
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2025-11-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-07-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 9, 2025 Edition
NYC Elects Muslim Socialist Mayor
Self-professed democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani won the three-way race for New York City Mayor with more than 50% of the ballots cast. He called his victory "a clear mandate for my plan of reform. The majority
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2025-11-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-01-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 2, 2025 Edition
Parasitic Blimps Threaten Crime Spree
Most Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) recipients recently got emails or texts warning them that their monthly SNAP payments would not be made for November because Congress hasn't approved them.
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2025-10-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-25-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 26, 2025 Edition
"I Am Not a Secret Nazi"
Candidate for the Democrat nomination for US Senator from Maine Graham Platner's Nazi SS tattoo has stirred up some controversy. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt), who has endorsed Platner, urged voters "to not fall victim to tho
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2025-10-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-18-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 19, 2025 Edition
Pritzker Vows Revenge
Grievously irked by the Trump Administration's efforts to enforce immigration laws in his state Gov. JB Pritzker (D-Ill) vows "I will prosecute each and every one of the federal officers--the ICE agents, the FBI agents, the N
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2025-10-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-10-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 12, 2025 Edition
NY AG Claims "Political Retribution"
This week, a Virginia Grand Jury indicted New York Attorney General Letitia James for mortgage fraud. Evidence included her signature on a mortgage loan document that asserted the property to be financed was to
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2025-10-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-03-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 5, 2025 Edition
Dems Vote to Shutdown Government
This week, the Democrat minority in the US Senate refused to vote for the continuing resolution that was needed to keep the federal government funded while the negotiations for the next budget are underway. The res
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2025-09-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-27-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 28, 2025 Edition
Aftershocks of Kirk Assassination
This week, left-wing propagandist Jimmy Kimmel was reinstated to his late night ABC TV show by the Disney Corporation. CEO Bob Iger explained "we have spent some time talking with Jimmy and analyzing our options
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2025-09-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-20-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 21, 2025 Edition
Dems Outraged Over Kimmel Suspension
On Monday, Jimmy Kimmel used his monologue to accuse MAGA of "trying to cover up the fact that the person who killed Charlie Kirk was one of them." This was after Utah Attorney General Derek Brown had disclosed
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2025-09-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-13-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 14, 2025 Edition
Left Blames Trump for Kirk Murder
Following the assassination of Charlie Kirk, "Bluesky," the progressive alternative to Elon Musk's "X," warned its users "glorifying violence or harm violates Bluesky's Community Guidelines. We review reports and
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2025-09-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-05-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 7, 2025 Edition
Dem Assails Idea of Natural Rights
This week, Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va) took issue with the American Declaration of Independence's assertion "that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that
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2025-08-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-29-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 31, 2025 Edition
Deranged Gunman Slaughters Praying Children
This week, a person who was "tired of being trans" opened fire on praying students at the Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Two children were killed and 17 others were wounded. The
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2025-08-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-23-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 24, 2025 Edition
Plunge in DC Crime Outrages Dems
After arguing that Washington DC crime rates were not excessive, Democrats were outraged that the increase in federal law-enforcement efforts in the city has significantly reduced crime. "Since national guard troop
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2025-08-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-15-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 17, 2025 Edition
Mixed Reactions to Crackdown on DC Crime
Using powers authorized by the Home Rule Act, President Trump ordered the deployment of National Guard troops, FBI agents, and other federal law-enforcement officers to patrol the streets of Washington DC.
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2025-08-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-09-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 10, 2025 Edition
Iran Executes Nuclear Scientist
Golem Salami, spokesman for Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps, announced that Rouzbeh Vadi, one of Iran's top nuclear scientists, was hanged this week. "The fact that Vadi was not taken out by the Israeli
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2025-08-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-02-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 3, 2025 Edition
Private Donations to PBS & NPR Surge
Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB) President and CEO Patricia Harrison informed its 100 employees of the termination of their employment following Congress' termination of federal subsidies, saying "most
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2025-07-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-26-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 27, 2025 Edition
Declassified Docs Show Anti-Trump Conspiracy
Over several days, Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Tulsi Gabbard has declassified and published government documents that she says "verify that the alleged Russia-Trump collusion during the 2016
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2025-07-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-19-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 20, 2025 Edition
Mamdani Lays Out Agenda for NYC
With polls showing him favored to win the election in November, New York City socialist Democrat mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani vowed to "revolutionize the way this city will be governed. Half-measures will be swept
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2025-07-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-12-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 13, 2025 Edition
Justice Demands Pay Raise
Statistics showing that Associate Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown-Jackson has spoken more words than any other Supreme Court Justice since she joined the Court in 2022 has inspired her to demand a pay raise. "Data com
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2025-07-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-04-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 6, 2025 Edition
Mamdani Giddy Over Election Victory
Self-proclaimed socialist Zohran Mamdani expressed "surprise and relief that the socialist takeover of the government of New York City was so easy. Lenin and Mao had to fight years of bloody warfare before they
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2025-06-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-28-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 29, 2025 Edition
Parliamentarian Blocks Spending Cuts
This week, Senate Parliamentarian Elizabeth MacDonough ruled that the Big Beautiful Bill (BBB) "cannot cut Medicaid funding for sex changes or illegal immigrants. The eligibility of these two categories is a po
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2025-06-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-21-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 22, 2025 Edition
Who's the "Most Oppressed" Democrat
Seeing that Democrats are out-of-sync with what most voters want for the country, some of them are turning toward a strategy aimed at maximizing the number of sympathy votes they can get by instigating confronta
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2025-06-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-13-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 15, 2025 Edition
Dems Enable Anti-ICE Riots
Federal District Court Judge Charles Breyer's order instructing President Trump to turn control over the National Guard troops he assigned to protect federal property and the ICE agents working in Los Angeles to Gov. New
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2025-06-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-07-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 8, 2025 Edition
Pandemic School Aid Can't Be Canceled
Despite the fact that the Covid pandemic was officially declared over as of May of 2023 and the federal funds authorized in the American Rescue Plan Act had a "use by date" of December 31, 2024, Manhattan Dist
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2025-05-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-31-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 1, 2025 Edition
"America on Right Track" at All-Time High
This week, Rasmussen's Mark Mitchell announced that "for the first time in the 29-year history of our asking Americans whether the country is on the right track 50% of voters said yes. This level of opti
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2025-05-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-24-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 25, 2025 Edition
Canada Mulling Over "Golden Dome" Participation
US President Trump's announcement of a so-called "Golden Dome" defense system modeled after Israel's "Iron Dome" has created both an opportunity and a dilemma for Canadian Prime Minister Markey Carne
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2025-05-17
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-17-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 18, 2025 Edition
Dems Seen as "Liberal, Weak, Corrupt"
Political commentator Chris Cillizza says "polls showing that only a third of registered Democrats are optimistic about their Party strike me as very problematic. This is especially troublesome compared to pol
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2025-05-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-10-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 11, 2025 Edition
NJ Mayor Arrested
This week, Newark Mayor and New Jersey gubernatorial candidate Ras Baraka (D) entered the Delaney Hall Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detention center and asserted "this facility cannot be legally operated in Newark. N
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2025-05-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-03-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 4, 2025 Edition
Justice Redefines Democracy
This week, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson condemned criticism of judges who have slapped injunctions on most of the Trump Administration's efforts to implement the policies supported by voters who elected h
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2025-04-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-26-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 27, 2025 Edition
Trump Must Continue Aid to Sanctuary Cities
This week, US District Judge William Orrick issued an injunction barring the Trump Administration from withholding federal aid from sanctuary cities, saying "over the years cities all across the country
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2025-04-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-19-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 20, 2025 Edition
Judge Orders Restoration of Aid to Hamas
This week, District of Columbia Judge Ibn al-Murderu ordered the restoration of the USAID funds designated for Hamas that he says "Secretary of State Marco Rubio has illegally canceled. The desire for gover
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2025-04-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-12-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 13, 2025 Edition
Trump Answers More Media Questions than Biden
In less than 100 days into his second term as president Donald Trump had directly answered ninety unfiltered questions from the media during his three broadcast cabinet meetings. In his four years as p
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2025-04-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-04-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 6, 2025 Edition
Documents Prove FBI Interfered with 2020 Election
Now that new FBI Director Kash Patel has released internal documents related to Hunter Biden's laptop, reporters Catherine Herridge and Michael Shellenberger have combed through them and discovered
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2025-03-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-29-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 30, 2025 Edition
Former Biden White House adviser Susan Rice went on MSNBC to proclaim the Trump Administration's Signal group chat on the Houthi air strike "the biggest national security debacle that any national security advisor can remember. The pure laziness, mal
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2025-03-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-22-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 23, 2025 Edition
Biden's Illegal Election Scheme
Prior to the 2024 election, President Biden issued Executive Order 14019. This order authorized the use of tax money to fund Democrat voter registration efforts. Using government revenue to support partisan voter re
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2025-03-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-15-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 16, 2025 Edition
"Trump Provoking Civil War"
Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif) warned "Trump is provoking the folks who depend on the government taking care of them to rise up and strike back. By breaking the covenant between them and the government they've relied on t
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2025-03-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-08-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 9, 2025 Edition
DOD's "Malicious Compliance" on DEI
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth's efforts to eliminate the racist and sexist Diversity Equity and Inclusion (DEI) policies of his predecessor Lloyd Austin are being undermined by hold-over Biden Administration
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2025-03-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-01-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 2, 2025 Edition
What was supposed to be an opening toward ending the war between Ukraine and Russia took an unexpected turn at a White House meeting between President Trump and Ukraine President Zelensky. After giving verbal assurances that he would sign a minerals
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2025-02-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-22-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 23, 2025 Edition
Taxpayers to Blame for Pandemic Disaster
The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) accidentally discovered that US taxpayers provided the funds that the US Aid for International Development (USAID) paid for the gain-of-function research in Ch
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2025-02-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-15-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 16, 2025 Edition
Dem Threatens to Shut Down Gov't
Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) went on "MSNBC Reports" to complain about "the Department of Government Efficiency's (DOGE) irresponsible slashing of fraud, waste, and abuse that has been taking place in the various f
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2025-02-08
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-08-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 9, 2025 Edition
"USAID Was Making the World Better"
Samantha Powers, the recently fired Administrator of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), asserted that "the actions taken by Trump and his DOGE goons to defame and gut the agency will
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2025-02-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-01-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 2, 2025 Edition
Dems Vow Unrelenting Opposition to Trump
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) asserted that "Trump and his agenda is wrong in every way it could be wrong. All his ideas, policies, and nominees for the cabinet are out-of-step with America's values and ne
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2025-01-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-25-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 26, 2025 Edition
Obscene, Grotesque & Despicable Pardons
Newly pardoned Sen. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) lashed out at President Trump's pardons for 1500 individuals convicted for their participation in the alleged insurrection at the US Capitol on January 6, 2021, call
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2025-01-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-18-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 19, 2025 Edition
"Greatest President Ever"
As President Biden prepares to vacate the White House accolades are pouring in for his performance. Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC) asserted "he will go down as the greatest president we ever had. You know, I was the one who secu
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2025-01-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-11-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 12, 2025 Edition
Chronology of California's Conflagration
On January 7, 2019 Gavin Newsom became the governor of California. In November of that year President Trump urged Newsom to make a greater effort to prepare the state to deal with its frequent wildfires and
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2025-01-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-03-2025
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 5, 2025 Edition
"We Shouldn't Jump to Conclusions"
These were the words President Joe Biden used when counseling his fellow Americans "not to lapse into anger and hatred. The man who drove a vehicle into a crowd celebrating the new year in New Orleans was an Amer
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2024-12-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-20-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 22, 2024 Edition
Biden Admin Declares Drones "Operating Lawfully"
The 8,000 mysterious drones that have been reported in various locations around the country have generated anxiety and fear among the population. Some are demanding action be taken to neutralize the
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2024-12-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-13-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 15, 2024 Edition
Almost Everybody Wants Pardons
Seeing the great deal Hunter Biden got, former President Bill Clinton went on ABC's "The View" to express his "willingness to ask President Biden to pardon his wife. Hillary didn't do anything wrong, but getting a co
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2024-12-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-06-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 8, 2024 Edition
Court Cancels Election
Citing "evidence" provided by the Romanian Intelligence Service alleging that Russian participation in a social media campaign may have unduly influenced voters, Romania's Constitutional Court annulled the first round result
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2024-11-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-30-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 1, 2024 Edition
NY Dem Calls for Secession
In the wake of Trump's victory in the 2024 presidential election, New York State Sen. Liz Krueger (D-Manhattan) is now proposing that "our state and the abutting woke states of Vermont, Massachusetts, and Connecticut sho
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2024-11-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-23-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 24, 2024 Edition
Health Officials Fear RFK
An article published by MSN says scientists are afraid that the appointment of Robert F. Kennedy, jr. to head the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) will further erode public trust in science. "Science is
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2024-11-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-16-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 17, 2024 Edition
Dems Count Invalid Ballots
In Pennsylvania, Bucks County Commissioners Diane Ellis-Marseglia and Robert Harvie decided to count ballots that the State Supreme Court has ruled cannot be counted. Centre County, Philadelphia County and Montgomery Cou
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2024-11-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-09-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 10, 2024 Edition
Bureaucrats Execute Squirrel & Raccoon
In the weekend before the November 5 elections, the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC) sent a SWAT team to raid the home of Mark Longo and his wife Daniela. The couple run a nonprof
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2024-11-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-02-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 3, 2024 Edition
DOJ Threats Unlawful
In recent weeks the Department of Justice (DOJ) has tried to bully states into not removing ineligible persons from their voter rolls by citing the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 (NVRA). The DOJ claimed that no change
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2024-10-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-26-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 27, 2024 Edition
Kamala's Closing Argument: "Trump Is Hitler"
As polls show the race for president remains close, the Democrat nominee Vice-President Kamala Harris has decided to use her Party's traditional slander of Republican presidential candidates. "I tried t
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2024-10-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-19-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 20, 2024 Edition
90 Year Old Mom Needs Social Security to Survive
On the campaign trail this week the Democrat nominee for vice-president Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz told the story of "a 90 year-old woman who wouldn't be able to feed herself if it weren't for the Soci
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2024-10-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-12-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 13, 2024 Edition
"Unscripted" Interview Mishap
In an effort to prove she could handle an unscripted interview Vice-President Kamala Harris appeared on a Univision town hall this week. In the midst of Kamala's efforts to dodge a voter's concerns that she became the
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2024-10-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-05-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 6, 2024 Edition
"MSNBC Doing All They Can To Help Harris"
During a dinner date with an undercover reporter for the O'Keefe Media Group, MSNBC producer Basel Hamdan asserted that "MSNBC is doing all they can to help Harris get elected. Her message of the day is th
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2024-09-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-28-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 29, 2024 Edition
425,000 Criminals Entered US Under Biden
Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) data show that 425,000 persons with criminal records were among the estimated 11.6 million persons illegally admitted into the US and released to roam the nation si
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2024-09-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-21-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 22, 2024 Edition
In the friendly environment of an Oprah Winfrey show, Vice-President Kamala Harris said "if somebody breaks into my house, they're getting shot." Gasps from a few audience members inspired her to follow up with "I probably should not have sai
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2024-09-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-14-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 15, 2024 Edition
Fact-Checking Crime
At the Trump-Harris debate, moderator David Muir attempted to disprove Trump's claim that crime increased during Biden's time as president by citing FBI data. Muir neglected to mention data from 6,000 jurisdictions is missing.
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2024-09-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-06-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 8, 2024 Edition
MSNBC Host Warns: Trump Will Be a Dictator
On MSNBC's "Morning Joe" program, host Joe Scarborough warned that "Trump will be a dictator if he gets back into office. He will censor TV stations that criticize his policies, prosecute his political op
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2024-08-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-31-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 1, 2024 Edition
Harris/Walz Shine in CNN Interview
Predictions that Vice-President Kamala Harris' first interview since she was declared the Democrat nominee for president without winning a single vote in any Democrat primary were dashed by the scintillating perf
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2024-08-24
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-24-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 25, 2024 Edition
RFK Endorses Trump
Frustrated by what he termed "the Democratic Party's efforts to dismantle democracy," Robert f. Kennedy Jr. announced that he is "urging voters in the battle ground states to vote for former President Trump. The election of Vice
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2024-08-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-17-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 18, 2024 Edition
Harris Vows to Crackdown on Price Gouging
Acknowledging that "since President Biden's attempt to use the 'bully pulpit' to try to shame corporate price gougers into accepting a fair mark-up approach hasn't worked," Democrat presidential nominee Vi
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2024-08-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-10-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 11, 2024 Edition
Harris & Walz Ticket Praised
While many commentators were surprised that Vice-President Kamala Harris chose Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz to be her running mate, prominent members of the progressive left enthusiastically endorsed the choice.
The Demo
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2024-08-03
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-03-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 4, 2024 Edition
Multi-Billionaire Terrorist Killed
This week, Ismail Haniyeh, one of the top three multi-billionaire Hamas leaders, was killed in Tehran by a bomb. He was visiting to meet with Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and participate in the inaugurat
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2024-07-26
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-26-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 28, 2024 Edition
Secret Service Warns Trump
Citing the "massive security failures that nearly resulted in former President Trump's assassination in Butler, Pennsylvania" and "the recent sudden resignation of Director Kimberly Cheatle," Acting Secret Service Direct
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2024-07-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-20-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 21, 2024 Edition
Chronicle of "a Fundamental Security Failure"
At 6:11 on Saturday, July 13 former President Donald Trump narrowly escaped assassination while giving a campaign speech in Butler, Pennsylvania. This near murder of the Republican nominee for presiden
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2024-07-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-13-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 14, 2024 Edition
Dems Denounce SAVE Act
This week, the House of Representatives passed the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act by a vote of 221 to 198. This Act requires proof of citizenship to vote in federal elections. All but five Democrats voted ag
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2024-07-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-06-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 7, 2024 Edition
Supreme Court Decision on Presidential Immunity
This week the US Supreme Court decided that presidents have immunity from prosecution for actions within the scope of their constitutional authority. Some Democrats found fault with this decision.
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2024-06-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-15-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 16, 2024 Edition
Two Cases of Woke Justice
In Ohio, Judge Brian Hagan ordered that Bionca Ellis be released on her own recognizance. Three days later she shoplifted a knife and stabbed three-year-old Julian Wood to death in the parking lot outside the Giant Eagle
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2024-06-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-08-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 9, 2024 Edition
Military Urged to Prevent Trump's Election
This week, MSNBC's Donny Deutsch called for the US military "to intervene to prevent Trump's election this November. With polls showing that voters are becoming even more favorable toward Trump after his
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2024-06-01
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-01-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 2, 2024 Edition
"No One Is Above the Law"
This week, former President Trump was found guilty on 34 counts of trying to conceal "hush money" payments to porn actress Stormy Daniels after the 2016 election. Normally, the statute of limitations would have prevented
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2024-05-25
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-25-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 26, 2024 Edition
Trump's Bronx Rally Called "Waste of Time"
This week, former President Trump held a campaign rally in the Bronx Borough of New York City. An estimated crowd of 25,000 enthusiastic fans attended. Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) called the attendees "clown
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2024-05-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-18-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 19, 2024 Edition
NFL Brass Rejects Player's Traditional Values
This week, Harrison Butker, a player on the Kansas City Chiefs football team gave a commencement speech at Benedictine College--a small Catholic liberal arts college in Atchison, Kansas. In this speech
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2024-05-11
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-11-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 12, 2024 Edition
Biden Dismisses Soaring Prices
This week in an interview with CNN's Erin Burnett, President Biden dismissed the 30% rise in food prices since he took office, saying "people can afford it. Thanks to Bidenomics, they have the money to spend. I've
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2024-05-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-04-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 5, 2024 Edition
Bi-Partisan Vote Puts Biden on Alabama Ballot
This week, Gov. Kay Ivey (R-Ala) signed a bill that will ensure President Biden's name is on the state's November ballot. The Governor praised the bi-partisan cooperation, saying "in a democracy, it is
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2024-04-26
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-26-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 28, 2024 Edition
DOJ Withholds Audio of Biden Interview
This week, the Department of Justice (DOJ) refused to comply with a Congressional subpoena for the audio of Special Counsel Robert Hur's interview of President Biden. It was this interview that prompted Hur t
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2024-04-19
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-19-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 21, 2024 Edition
"Appalling Arrest"
Rep. Ilhan Omar's (D-Minn) daughter Isra Hirsi was one of 108 students arrested at the request of Columbia University President Nemat "Minouche" Shafik. "I took this extraordinary step because these are extraordinary circu
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2024-04-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-13-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 14, 2024 Edition
"Death to America" Called "Legitimate Viewpoint"
At an anti-Israel demonstration in Dearborn, Michigan, Tarek Bazzi led the crowd in chants of "death to America." When Fox reporter Hillary Vaughn asked Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) about this th
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2024-04-06
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-06-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 7, 2024 Edition
"Pardon Pledge Will Sink Trump's Campaign"
This week, Karl Rove, the political genius who guided former President George W. Bush to two election victories, predicted that Trump's pledge to review all the cases of the January 6 defendants and pardo
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2024-03-30
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-30-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 31, 2024 Edition
"Sucker Punch" Controversy in New York
The new rage in the "city that never sleeps," seems to be "sucker punching" women on the streets of New York City. A woman named Halley McGookin posted a video on TikTok after she was attacked. It was one of
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2024-03-23
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-23-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 24, 2024 Edition
First Amendment Hamstrings Government
This week, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in Murthy v. Missouri. This case focuses on whether govt collusion with social media platforms to censor online speech violates the First Amendment.
Justice
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2024-03-16
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-16-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 17, 2024 Edition
Judge Exonerates Fani Willis
On Friday, Fulton County Superior Judge Scott McAfee ruled that Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis will be allowed to continue to persecute former President Trump and his co-defendants for trying to overturn t
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2024-03-09
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-09-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 10, 2024 Edition
Highlights of the State of the Union
On Thursday evening President Biden gave his third State of the Union address. According to him he is doing a great job. He revived a collapsing economy and created 15 million new jobs. Made the world safer tod
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2024-03-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-02-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 3, 2024 Edition
AI Claims to Be God
If you thought Google's Artificial Intelligence (AI) fabricating false "woke" historical images was disturbing, you'll be appalled that Microsoft's AI claims to be God. While the company's AI is officially known as CoPilot, Bin
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2024-02-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-24-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 25, 2024 Edition
Biden Boasts "Court Can't Stop Me"
Despite a Supreme Court decision declaring that a president lacks the authority to unilaterally forgive student debt, a chipper Biden boasted "the Court can't stop me. I sign the papers and $138 billion in debts
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2024-02-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-17-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 18, 2024 Edition
"Christians Have No Business Being in Politics"
This week, actor and Bible expert Rob Reiner claimed that "Christians have no business being in politics. It goes against the teachings of Jesus. First of all, Jesus commanded his followers to render
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2024-02-09
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-09-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 11, 2024 Edition
"Maybe These Voters Aren't Dead"
The Public Interest Legal Foundation's (PILF) efforts to fight election fraud in Michigan are being fiercely resisted by Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson (D). PILF Communications Director Lauren Bis said "there ar
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2024-02-03
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-03-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 4, 2024 Edition
Leftists Irked Over Trial Delay
News that Trump's "election interference" trial originally scheduled to start on March fourth has been taken off the calendar has some leftist "journalists" miffed. Politico reporters Kyle Cheney and Josh Gerstein c
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2024-01-27
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-27-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 28, 2024 Edition
Feds Threaten Texas
In response to the Biden Administration's failure to protect Texas from being invaded by foreigners, Gov. Greg Abbott (R) cited Articles I and IV of the US Constitution as justification for deploying the state's own defensive t
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2024-01-19
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-19-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 21, 2024 Edition
Trump Accuser Deletes Evidence
E. Jean Carroll's second suit against former President Donald Trump for defamation of character took an ugly turn this week when it was discovered that she had deleted evidence that had been subpoenaed by Trump's def
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2024-01-13
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-13-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 14, 2024 Edition
Georgia Prosecution of Trump Corrupt
This week it was discovered that the Fulton County, Georgia, District Attorney Fani Willis hired her ambulance-chasing paramour Nathan Wade to be the "special prosecutor" of Donald Trump for challenging the sta
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2024-01-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-05-2024
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 7, 2024 Edition
Trump Bigger Crook than Bidens
This week, Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md), ranking member of the House Oversight Committee, released a report titled "White House For Sale." This report shows that Trump Hotels in Washington, D.C., Las Vegas, and New York
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2023-12-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-29-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 31, 2023 Edition
Trump Thrown Off Maine Ballot
Maine's Secretary of State Shenna Bellows (D) ruled that former president Donald Trump cannot appear on the Maine primary election ballot this March. She cited Section 3 of the US Constitution's 14th Amendment as th
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2023-12-22
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-22-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 24, 2023 Edition
Trump Tossed from Colorado Ballot
By a 4 to 3 margin, the Colorado Supreme Court barred former president Donald Trump from appearing on their state's ballot in the 2024 election. The justification cited was the insurrection clause in the 14th Amen
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2023-12-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-08-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 10, 2023 Edition
Hunter Biden Blames Trump
The indictment against Hunter Biden filed in the US Court for the Central District of California this week charges him with evading $1.4 million in taxes owed to the federal government for the years 2016 through 2019. Ins
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2023-12-02
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-02-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 3, 2023 Edition
Feds Want to Unify Thought
This week, in testimony before the House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Weaponization of Federal Government, journalist Michael Shellenberger revealed that "US And UK military contractors worked to both censor and use sop
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2023-11-24
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-24-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 26, 2023 Edition
Feds Want to Control Auto Speeds
The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) wants to install Intelligent Speed Assistance (ISA) in all cars. NTSB chair Jennifer Homendy emphasized that "human error is the chief cause of almost all traffic cra
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2023-11-18
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-18-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 19, 2023 Edition
More Dangerous Disease Experiments?
In September, the House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party issued a report disclosing that a lab staffed by Chinese nationals has been covertly operating in Reedley, California. Among the diseases f
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2023-11-11
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-11-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 12, 2023 Edition
"Trump Will End Our Democracy"
This week, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton went on ABC's "The View" to warn that "if Trump wins the 2024 presidential election he will end our democracy. He will censor freedom of speech and try to put his
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2023-11-04
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-04-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 5, 2023 Edition
Speaker's Poverty Mocked
Like many Americans, House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La) is living paycheck-to-paycheck. He has no appreciable savings, no stock portfolio, no vacation homes. Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md) wondered if "his precarious financial si
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2023-10-28
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-28-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 29, 2023 Edition
Differing Policies on Crime
In 2020, Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear (D) decided to grant early release to 1700 convicts because of the covid pandemic. Within a year of being released 70% of these former prisoners committed at least one crime. Fifty pe
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2023-10-21
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-21-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 22, 2023 Edition
Gag Order Violates Freedom of Speech
This week at the request of Special Counsel Jack Smith, Judge Tanya Chutkan imposed a "gag order" on former President Donald Trump. She cited the risk that "allowing Trump unfettered freedom of speech could tai
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2023-10-13
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10-13-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 15, 2023 Edition
US Navy recruitment has fallen nearly 20% below its target for the recently completed federal fiscal year. Acting Chief of Naval Operations Admiral Lisa Franchetti blamed "the declining quality of our country's youth. Nearly 80% of them are too fat,
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2023-10-07
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-07-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 8, 2023 Edition
McCarthy Stunned
Confident that he had an "ace-in-the-hole," House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) expected Rep. Matt Gaetz's (R-Fla) motion to oust him from his position would fail. It didn't.
"When I expressed my apprehension about allowing
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2023-09-30
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-30-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 1, 2023 Edition
Bolton & Biden Agree
Trump's former National Security Adviser John Bolton warned that "a second Trump Administration would lead to a constitutional crisis. What will happen when the career people in the Department of Justice, military, and other g
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2023-09-23
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-23-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 24, 2023 Edition
Dems Modify Voting Laws
This week Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) signed 10 voting reform bills passed by the Democrat majority legislature. She asserted that "we are safeguarding the integrity of our electoral process and ensuring equal access to the ba
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2023-09-16
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-16-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 17, 2023 Edition
Impeachment Inquiry: "Extreme Politics at Its Worst"
Ian Sams, special assistant to the president and senior advisor to the White House Counsel's Office, labeled House Speaker Kevin McCarthy's (R-Calif) decision to open a formal impeachment inqu
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2023-09-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-08-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 10, 2023 Edition
"Remain in Texas" Policy
Complaints from the mayors of sanctuary cities are inspiring the Biden Administration to seek a remedy that would entail requiring that illegal immigrants remain in Texas. Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security A
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2023-09-02
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09-02-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 3, 2023 Edition
End of Car-Centric Era Predicted
Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has appointed 24 new members to his Advisory Committee on Transportation Equity. "Cars are the weal link in our transportation system," he explained. "They are a major contri
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2023-08-26
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-26-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 27, 2023 Edition
Elections "Bad for Democracy"
World Economic Forum (WEF) adviser Adam Grant says "the only way democracy can be saved is to do away with elections. Allowing voters to select their rulers invites a toxic struggle for power. Unscrupulous politicians
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2023-08-19
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-19-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 20, 2023 Edition
Tax-Funded Uterus Transplants
Since there has yet to be a successful uterus transplant into an XY chromosome male body insurance won't cover the estimated $300,000 cost. According to "Patient-Centered Transgender Surgical Care," a recent artic
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2023-08-12
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-12-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 13, 2023 Edition
FDA Weasels
Three doctors are suing the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for impeding their ability to treat their patients with ivermectin during the pandemic. The FDA argues that its actions ridiculing ivermectin did not impede its use by thes
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2023-08-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-05-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 6, 2023 Edition
Psaki Assails GOP Totalitarian Tactics
Biden's former White House press secretary Jen Psaki warned voters against "falling for Republican efforts to distract attention away from their Party's conspiracy to overturn the 2020 election by making fals
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2023-07-29
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-29-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 30, 2023 Edition
Blacks Under Attack
This week, members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) held a press conference to highlight how Blacks are under assault in America. Examples cited by CBC Chairman Rep. Steven Horsford (D-Nev) included "Alabama's refusal to
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2023-07-22
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-22-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 23, 2023 Edition
NYC to Pay Rioters $13 Million
In a lawsuit alleging police brutality in their response to vandalism, arson, and assaults committed in New York City by persons protesting the May 25, 2020 death of George Floyd while in police custody in Minneapoli
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2023-07-15
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-15-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 16, 2023 Edition
Biden Forgives $39 Billion of Student Debt
Despite the recent US Supreme Court ruling that he lacks the authority to unilaterally forgive these debts, President Biden has gone ahead and authorized the Department of Education to forgive the remaini
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2023-07-08
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-08-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 9, 2023 Edition
School Board Overrules Parents
Despite overwhelming opposition from parents, Virginia's Fairfax County Public School Board (FCPSB) mandated that sex-education for all students will emphasize woke gender ideology. This is the same school board whos
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2023-07-01
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-01-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 2, 2023 Edition
Supreme Court Goes Three for Three
Court Strikes Down Racism
In a case brought against Harvard University and the University of North Carolina by Students for Fair Admissions, the US Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that using different admission standa
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2023-06-23
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-23-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 25, 2023 Edition
Durham Lambastes Corrupt FBI
This week, Special Counsel John Durham told the House Judiciary Committee that "the FBI was too willing to accept and use politically funded and uncorroborated opposition research from the Clinton campaign. The FBI abe
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2023-06-17
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-17-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 18, 2023 Edition
Trump Indictment Amended
Following his indictment for mishandling classified documents, former President Trump visited the Versailles Restaurant in the Little Havana neighborhood of Miami where he shouted "food for everyone." Since it was his birt
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2023-06-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-10-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 11, 2023 Edition
Biden Disputes Poll Trend
The latest Gallup poll results on social issues show a trend toward conservatism over the last three years. In 2021, 30% of those polled identified as conservative. In the 2023 survey, 38% did. In 2021, 34% identified as
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2023-06-02
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06-02-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 4, 2023 Edition
Trump Stumbles
While President Biden's face plant at the Air Force Academy graduation ceremony garnered the most attention, a pair of unforced errors committed by Donald Trump raised some questions about his electability in the 2024 election.
D
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2023-05-27
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05-27-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 28, 2023 Edition
Foreign Government Meddling
Arguing that "blood is thicker than water," China's Ambassador to the United States Xie Feng called upon "fellow compatriots and Chinese students to serve the motherland. Your support, involvement and contribution wou
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2023-05-20
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-20-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 21, 2023 Edition
"Mitigating Circumstances" Result in Plea Deal
On September 18, 2022, 42-year-old left-wing radical Shannon Brandt intentionally drove his SUV over and killed 18-year-old Cayler Ellingson. Brandt told arresting officers that he did it "because tha
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2023-05-12
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-12-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 14, 2023 Edition
Reparation Recipients Need Servants
Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga) hammered GOP opposition to the flood of immigrants flowing across our southern border, calling it "more white oppression of the Black man. Just when we are on the brink of getting repara
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2023-05-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-05-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 7, 2023 Edition
Union Wants Share of Pork
United Auto Workers (UAW) President Shawn Fain is withholding his union's endorsement of the reelection of President Biden "until we get our fair share. If he can afford to pour billions of dollars into subsidizing the co
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2023-04-29
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04-29-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 30, 2023 Edition
Capitol Cop Assails Carlson
US Capitol Police Chief Thomas Manger called the firing of Tucker Carlson by FOX News "long overdue. This clown has no respect for authority. His lopsided criticism of our handling of the January 6 insurrection invited
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2023-04-22
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04-22-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 23, 2023 Edition
Congressmen Debate Gun Control
Rep. Jamaal Bowman (Dâ€"NY) and Rep. Thomas Massie (Râ€"Ky) got into a shouting match over gun control this week. The fireworks started when Massie asserted that "there has never been a mass shooting in a school that
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2023-04-14
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04-14-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 16, 2023 Edition
More Americans Struggling Financially
A recent Monmouth University poll found that more Americans are struggling financially since Biden replaced Trump as the country's president. Patrick Murray, Director of the independent Monmouth University Pol
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2023-04-07
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04-07-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 9, 2023 Edition
Woman Attacked by Trans Activists
Riley Gaines, a former NCAA All-American swimmer, was violently assaulted by transgender fanatics for daring to speak out against biological men invading women's sports. Despite a federal law (familiarly called Ti
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2023-03-31
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03-31-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 2, 2023 Edition
Dems to Bar Suspending Drunk Students
The California legislature's Education Committee unanimously approved a bill (AB 599) that will prohibit schools from suspending or expelling students who are drunk, high, or in possession of illicit drugs or
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2023-03-24
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03-24-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 26, 2023 Edition
Dems Give Advice on Crime
Convinced that the people who commit crimes are the real victims, Democrats in the nation's biggest cities are urging everyone else to get used to living with criminals.
In San Francisco, John Hamasaki, former San Fran
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2023-03-18
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03-18-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 19, 2023 Edition
Youth Accountability and Safety Act
Maryland Delegate Charlotte Crutchfield (D-Montgomery) has introduced the Youth Accountability and Safety Act (HB1180). This bill would lessen the penalty for murders committed by persons below the age of 26 as
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2023-03-10
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-10-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 12, 2023 Edition
90% of IRS Audits Hit Small Businesses & Families
While making the rich pay their fair share of taxes has been the rhetoric favored by President Biden, in her testimony to the House Ways and Means Committee Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, admitte
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2023-03-04
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03-04-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 5, 2023 Edition
NYC Rioters Get $6 Million Settlement
People who rioted in New York City during the protests over the death of career criminal George Floyd in Minneapolis while in police custody have been awarded $6 million in "damages" because some of the NYC po
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2023-02-25
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02-25-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 26, 2023 Edition
DeSantis Gets Fake Apology
During an interview with Vice-President Kamala Harris, MSNBC anchor Andrea Mitchell inaccurately described Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' objection to Critical Race Theory (CRT) as "opposition to teaching about slavery and t
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2023-02-18
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02-18-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 19, 2023 Edition
Afghan Women Advised to Use "Black Girl Magic"
Karen Decker, the US top ranked diplomat in Afghanistan, advised women being oppressed by the Taliban government "to 'bone up' on Black History Month and learn from Beyonce and Lizzo, both of whom ove
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2023-02-10
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02-10-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 12, 2023 Edition
TV Station Fined for Barring Candidate from Debate
The Florida Department of Health fined WESH-2, an Orlando television station, $10,000 for not allowing Scotty Moore, the Republican candidate for a Florida Congressional District to participate in
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2023-02-04
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02-04-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 5, 2023 Edition
Housing Is a Human Right
The San Diego City Council unanimously voted to declare housing a human right. Council President Monica Montgomery Steppe argued that "the homelessness crisis has become intolerable. The large incidence of mental illness a
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2023-01-27
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01-27-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 29, 2023 Edition
FDA to Ease Blood Donation Restrictions
The US Food and Drug Administration says it will reduce restrictions based on sexual behavior for blood donors. Current rules bar donations from men who have sex with other men because of the risk of transmi
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2023-01-20
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01-20-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 22, 2023 Edition
Dems Being Treated Unfairly
Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) complains that House Speaker Kevin McCarthy's determination to keep him off the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence (HPSCI) "is so unfair."
McCarthy defended his position, po
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2023-01-14
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01-14-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 15, 2023 Edition
Biden Mishandles Classified Documents
The Democrats' quest to demonize former President Donald Trump for having classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago residence in Florida was dealt a serious setback when it was disclosed this week that President
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2023-01-07
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01-07-2023
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 8, 2023 Edition
Boobs Mock GOP House Speaker Voting
The inability of Republicans to quickly elect Rep. Kevin McCarthy as House Speaker had CBS's Steven Colbert agreeing with CNN talking head Chris Wallace's assertion that "such a disaster never would have happene
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2022-12-17
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12-17-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 18, 2022 Edition
Leftists Want to Ban Populists
Social Democratic Party (SPD) member Sebastian Hartmann demanded that the German parliament pass a law banning the Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) party, saying "there must be no tolerance for the enemies of the r
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2022-12-09
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12-09-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 11, 2022 Edition
US & Russia Exchange Prisoners
This week President Biden announced that he had reached a deal with Russia to exchange Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout for Brittney Griner. He touted the deal as "a victory for American diplomacy" and "something form
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2022-12-03
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12-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 4, 2022 Edition
GOP Leadership Wants to Aid Dems in Lame-Duck Session
With Republicans set to be the majority in the House in January, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is severely disappointed in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) who seems intent on giving Demo
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2022-12-03
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12-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 4, 2022 Edition
GOP Leadership Wants to Aid Dems in Lame-Duck Session
With Republicans set to be the majority in the House in January, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is severely disappointed in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) who seems intent on giving Demo
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2022-12-03
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12-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 4, 2022 Edition
GOP Leadership Wants to Aid Dems in Lame-Duck Session
With Republicans set to be the majority in the House in January, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is severely disappointed in Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) who seems intent on giving Demo
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2022-11-26
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11-26-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 27, 2022 Edition
Mayor Lightfoot Responds to Ridicule
A tweet from Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot lamenting the slaying of five patrons of Club Q in Colorado Springs sparked an outpouring of ridicule from other Twitter users. In her tweet, the Mayor asked "how many
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2022-11-19
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11-19-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 20, 2022 Edition
Profs Declared "Priests of Democracy"
This week Chief U.S. District Judge Mark Walker blocked enforcement of Florida's "Stop WOKE Act," saying that "it infringes on the right of university professors to exercise their freedom of speech in their cl
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2022-11-11
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11-11-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 13, 2022 Edition
Mandate for More of the Same
A chipper President Biden declared victory in the midterm elections, saying "the red wave didn't happen. So, I'm not changing anything." He took special pride from polls showing that 75% of voters are unhappy with the
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2022-11-05
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-05-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 6, 2022 Edition
Biden Rails Against "Enemies of Democracy"
President Biden made his closing argument to voters in a largely unwatched TV broadcast. He warned that "failure to vote Democrat means siding with the enemies of our democracy. It's right there on your b
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2022-10-29
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10-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 30, 2022 Edition
Leftist Literati Call for Censorship
A gaggle of 547 leftist "intellectuals" have signed a letter demanding that Penguin Random House cancel its agreement with Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett to publish a book she just wrote about maintain
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2022-10-22
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10-22-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 23, 2022 Edition
Voter Intimidation Alleged in Arizona
Arizona Secretary of State and current candidate for governor Katie Hobbs (D) charged that "efforts by right-wing extremists to observe ballot drop boxes is a fundamental invasion of a voter's right to cast a
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2022-10-15
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10-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 16, 2022 Edition
Dems Blame Moderators
Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) and Rep. Elissa Slotkin (D-Mich) blamed their lackluster performances in two separate debates this week on the debate moderators.
During her debate with Whitmer, Republican challenger Tudor D
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2022-10-07
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10-07-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 9, 2022 Edition
This week, GOP critics jumped on President Biden's apparent gaffe while campaigning at a Volvo Group Powertrain facility in Hagerstown, Maryland when he said "let me start off with two words: made in America." Dreaded members of the MAGA terroris
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2022-09-30
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09-30-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 2, 2022 Edition
Dem Says Laxalt Abandoned Rape Victims
Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV) charged her Republican opponent Adam Laxalt with "abandoning rape victims. Instead of sticking with his Attorney General job, where he was very successful, he decided to p
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2022-09-24
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09-24-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 25, 2022 Edition
Dems Mock GOP's "Commitment to America"
This week, House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) unveiled the Republicans' "Commitment to America" platform. The platform focused on inflation, crime, and the southern border.
"Pres
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2022-09-17
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09-17-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 18, 2022 Edition
Martha's Vineyard Defiled
Panic and outrage were the responses from Democrats after Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) arranged to have 50 willing illegal migrants flown to the posh vacation playground of Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts.
Presid
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2022-09-09
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09-09-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 11, 2022 Edition
End of Oil & Gas Within Reach
This week, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen predicted that "the Inflation Reduction Act will put us on our way toward a future where we totally depend on the wind, the sun and other clean sources of energy. We will f
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2022-09-03
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09-03-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 4, 2022 Edition
Battle for the Soul of the Nation
This week, President Biden gave what Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson characterized as an "urgent wartime address. Just as FDR rallied Americans to avenge Japan's sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, President
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2022-08-26
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08-26-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 28, 2022 Edition
Unvaccinated Children Barred from DC Schools
This week, Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser announced that "no unvaccinated child will be permitted to receive instruction in any school building unless they get vaccinated within the first 20 day
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2022-08-20
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08-20-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 21, 2022 Edition
Citizens' Audit Finds Vote Fraud
A team of citizens led by Marly Hornik conducted an extensive audit of the 2020 election results for New York and uncovered evidence of massive election fraud, including unlawful election acts, misconduct of electi
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2022-08-12
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08-12-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 14, 2022 Edition
Garland Justifies Mar-a-Lago Raid
This week, the FBI conducted an unprecedented raid on the home of former US President Donald Trump. More than two dozen FBI agents scoured the 3,000 square foot home for more than nine hours on Monday, August 8th
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2022-08-06
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08-06-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 7, 2022 Edition
Cheneys Rant About Trump
Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo) called for the Department of Justice (DOJ) to prosecute former President Donaold Trump, "I and the other members of the January 6 Committee have done the hard part. We've made the accusations, com
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2022-07-29
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07-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 31, 2022 Edition
Publication of Voter Registrations Allowed
Citing freedom of speech, U.S. District Court Judge James Browning issued a ruling barring New Mexico from prosecuting the Voter Reference Foundation (VoteRef.com) for publishing a searchable database of
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2022-07-23
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07-23-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 24, 2022 Edition
Assassination Attempt in NY
Candidate for New York governor Rep. Lee Zeldin (R) was assaulted at a campaign event by Democrat David Jakubonis. Jakubonis was armed with a ninja-style stabbing weapon. Zeldin and a couple of his supporters were able
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2022-07-15
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07-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 17, 2022 Edition
In a bid to refute contentions that they are indifferent to public suffering at the gas pump, Democrats at both the federal and local levels are taking bold steps to limit how much drivers pay to fuel their vehicles.
US Secretary of the Treasury J
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2022-07-08
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07-08-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 10, 2022 Edition
Media React to Abe Assassination
National Public Radio (NPR), the propaganda arm of the progressive Biden Regime in America, hailed the assassination of former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, calling it "a more focused defense of democracy t
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2022-07-01
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07-01-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 3, 2022 Edition
Gov Rejects Right of Self-Defense
New York Gov. Kathy Hochul (D) is calling for the State Legislature to reenact the strict gun control laws that the US Supreme Court explicitly struck down last week. She rejected contentions that she needed any e
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2022-06-25
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06-25-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 19, 2022 Edition
Abject Failure at Uvalde Massacre
Col. Steve McCraw, director of the Texas Department of Public Safety, called the police response to the gunman who killed 19 children and two teachers at the Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas "an abject fa
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2022-06-18
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06-18-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 19, 2022 Edition
"Peace-Circles" to Fight Crime in Chicago
Convinced that police, prosecutors, and prisons are inhumane methods for combating crime, Chicago is trying a "peace-circle" approach. Local advocate for the idea Howard Zehr contends that "bring
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2022-06-11
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06-11-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 12, 2022 Edition
USA Today Alters Op Ed Policy
The largest newspaper chain in the US has told its editors to modify their op ed publication policy. CEO Mike Reed cited reader complaints for the policy shift, saying "our effort to fit in with the unity theme of t
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2022-06-04
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06-04-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 5, 2022 Edition
Treasury Secretary Confesses: "I Don't Understand Inflation"
During an interview aired on CNN's "Situation Room," Biden Administration Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen admitted "I don't understand inflation. Everyone in the Admin
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2022-05-27
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05-27-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 29, 2022 Edition
Police Delay at Uvalde School Massacre Defended
As more facts about the law-enforcement response at the Robb Elementary School massacre become available, confidence in relying on police to save lives is being eroded. It seems that the pattern in p
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2022-05-20
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05-20-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 22, 2022 Edition
Pelosi: America Wants Democrats to Win in November
Despite polls indicating that 80% of Americans feel the country is headed in the wrong direction, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) insists that "America wants Democrats to win the November e
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2022-05-14
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05-14-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 15, 2022 Edition
War Time Criticism of President Improper
Unsatisfied with massive GOP support for $40 billion in aid to Ukraine in its war with Russia, House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md) slammed the few dozen Republicans who voted against the measure, insis
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2022-05-06
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05-06-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 8, 2022 Edition
Dems React to Pending Court Reversal of Abortion Decision
An unprecedented leak of a coming Supreme Court ruling overturning the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision making abortion the law of the land has sparked a spate of panic and crazy talk from leading
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2022-04-29
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04-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 1, 2022 Edition
Why Criminal Aliens Must Be Set Free Inside the US
Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas defended the Biden Administration's policy of releasing illegal immigrants with criminal records inside the US, calling it "a key fun
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2022-04-15
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04-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 17, 2022 Edition
Disney Corp Defiant
Amidst polls showing that nearly 70% of Americans are appalled by the Disney Corporation's sharp turn to the left, the Company says "we will not be deterred by the forces of ignorance and prejudice. It is long past due that t
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2022-04-08
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04-08-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 10, 2022 Edition
Dems to Make $30 Million Pitch for Black Votes
Amidst polls showing that Black voter support for the Democratic Party has fallen from 87% to 60% since Biden took office, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee is planning to invest $30 mil
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2022-04-01
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04-01-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 3, 2022 Edition
Judge Overturns Florida Election Reform
U.S. District Judge Mark Walker wrote a 288-page decision justifying his ruling that Florida's recently enacted election integrity reforms are unconstitutional. The chief offending sections of the law includ
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2022-03-18
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03-18-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 20, 2022 Edition
Parental Rights in Education Law Assailed
U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona and assistant secretary for health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Rachel Levine, traveled to Florida to slander that state's recent enactment
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2022-03-12
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03-12-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 13, 2022 Edition
Biden Sick of Being Blamed for Inflation
As inflation produces rates of price increases not seen in 40 years, polls now show more than 60% of respondents holding the Biden Administration responsible. President Biden has denounced this opinion of A
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2022-03-04
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03-04-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 6, 2022 Edition
GOP Reps Told to "Shut Up"
During his State-of-the-Union speech, President Biden made yet another attempt to exploit the death of his "heroic" son Beau from brain cancer. Unlike his disgraced son Hunter who was discharged from the Navy for
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2022-02-26
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02-26-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 27, 2022 Edition
Biden's Ukraine Strategy Called "Brilliant"
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) called President Biden's Strategy for handling the war in Ukraine "brilliant." Asked to briefly describe the strategy, she said "no one knows what it is. Th
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2022-02-19
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02-19-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 20, 2022 Edition
US AG Sues Over Gun-Rights Law
Attorney General Merrick Garland announced he is suing the State of Missouri claiming its recently enacted law allowing gun-owners the right to sue state or federal officials if their Second Amendment rights are viol
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2022-02-11
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02-11-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 13, 2022 Edition
Questioning President on Inflation Disrespectful
As the inflation that the President predicted would be "only temporary" six-months ago reached a 40 year high, NBC anchor Lester Holt was chastized by Biden as "a wise guy" for bringing the
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2022-02-04
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02-04-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 6, 2022 Edition
Mayor Rebuffs Carlson's Criticism
Fox News host Tucker Carlson pointed to the City of Baltimore's under-performing public schools as a crucial factor in the City's awful crime rate. "It's because the schools are so bad that the hordes of young p
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2022-01-29
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01-29-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 30, 2022 Edition
Biden Causing Panic in Ukraine
President Biden's efforts to insert himself into the tense situation in Ukraine drew a sharp rebuke from Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky. Biden's warning that "Ukraine is on the brink of being sacked by Russ
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2022-01-22
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01-22-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 23, 2022 Edition
California "Looks Like a 3rd World Country"
Viewing the aftermath of massive looting of packages from trains at a rail yard, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) professed himself "shocked that our state is starting to look like a Third World country
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2022-01-15
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01-15-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 16, 2022 Edition
DC Announces New Vaccine Passport
The Washington, D.C. Department of Health announced that "beginning January 15, any person wanting to enter any indoor space--including government buildings, restaurants, bars, theaters, gyms, and hotels--in t
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2022-01-08
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01-08-2022
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 9, 2022 Edition
Biden Hails Jobs Report
Though the number of new jobs created during December fell 50% short of what his economists had been predicting, President Biden hailed the figures as "evidence of the progress we have been making to transform our economy
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2021-12-17
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12-17-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 19, 2021 Edition
Airline Mask Controversy
This week, American Airlines CEO Doug Parker and Southwest Airlines CEO Gary Kelly testified before the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee on the issue of mask requirements.
Kelly said that "the ai
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2021-12-10
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12-10-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 12, 2021 Edition
Smollett Wants Sequels
According to his attorney Nenye Uche, actor Jussie Smollett considers his recent trial and conviction for staging a fake hate-crime "riveting entertainment" and hopes to "film two sequels."
"One of his ideas is
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2021-12-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-04-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 5, 2021 Edition
Comparing Fauci to Mengele Unfair
This week in an appearance on Fox News, commentator Lara Logan reported that some people she has talked to "see parallels between Nazi Dr. Josef Mengele and Dr. Anthony Fauci. The measures Dr. Fauci has advocate
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2021-11-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-27-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 28, 2021 Edition
Mysterious Surge in Athletes Collapsing
The year 2021 has seen a five-fold increase in the number of professional of FIFA athletes dying of cardiac arrest on soccer fields. Since teams have been routinely requiring players to be vaccinated for cov
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2021-11-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-20-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 21, 2021 Edition
School Board Adviser Doxxes Parents
Norma Garcia-Lopez, co-chair of the Racial Equity Committee for the Fort Worth Independent School District in Texas, went online and posted the names, addresses and phone numbers of parents who are opposed to th
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2021-11-13
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-13-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 14, 2021 Edition
Biden Doing a Great Job on Economy
In an interview on MSNBC's "Morning Joe," former Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) brushed off host Joe Scarborough's concern that soaring inflation and supply chain problems "raise questions about the President
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2021-11-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-05-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 7, 2021 Edition
Vaccine Mandate Helps People Feel Safe
US Secretary of Labor Marty Walsh says "President Biden's insistance that everyone be vaccinated is essential to restoring economic growth. Right now too many people are afraid to go back to work out of fea
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2021-10-30
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-30-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 31, 2021 Edition
NAACP Warns Athletes about Texas
National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) president and CEO Derrick Johnson warned professional athletes against agreeing to play for teams located in Texas. The inspiration for this warnin
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2021-10-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-23-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 24, 2021 Edition
Biden Mocks "Freedom"
President Joe Biden used a CNN "town hall" where attendance was "by invitation only" to further vent his anger at those Americans "who continue to try my patience. Look, I know I said that I wouldn't make vaccin
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2021-10-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-16-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 17, 2021 Edition
Biden's Plan to Protect Us from Climate Crisis
Alleging that "Americans need more government to protect them from a systemic climate crisis," President Biden announced "a new battle line will be formed across all financial institutions. This
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2021-10-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-09-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 10, 2021 Edition
"Eff Joe Biden" Meme Disputed
The eruption of crowds chanting "Eff Joe Biden" that has been sweeping the nation at sporting events eventually confronted the President during his recent trip to Michigan where he praised the tyrannical Gov.
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2021-10-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
10-02-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: October 3, 2021 Edition
New Immigration Enforcement Guidelines
Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Alejandro Mayorkas, announced new immigration enforcement guidelines for dealing with those who have illegally entered the country, saying "given the flood
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2021-09-25
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-25-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 26, 2021 Edition
Biden Blames Trump
A feisty President Biden made a valiant effort to try to shift blame for the series of policy disasters that have plagued his time in office, claiming "it would be unfair of people to blame me for blunders foisted on me by my
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2021-09-18
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-18-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 19, 2021 Edition
Grim COVID Data from UK
The latest data from the United Kingdom paints a grim picture of the battle against the COVID-19 virus. Deaths with COVID were 58 times higher this past month than they were a year ago when no vaccines were available. Furth
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2021-09-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-11-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 12, 2021 Edition
Angry President Demands Obedience
An angry President Biden took to the airwaves to announce new marching orders for America. Despite the fact that far less than 1% of the population has been felled by COVID, 70% of the adult population having been
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2021-09-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
09-04-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: September 5, 2021 Edition
Georgia Ballot Box Stuffing
Surveillance videos of ballot drop boxes in Georgia captured evidence of tens of thousands of ballots being dumped into these boxes by a cadre of 240 political activists. These drop boxes are intended for individual vot
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2021-08-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-28-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 29, 2021 Edition
Vax Mandate to Pare Police Force
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot's mandate requiring all city officers to get the COVID-19 vaccine has been met with defiance by John Catanzara, president of the Chicago Fraternal Order of Police. "This vaccine has n
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2021-08-21
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-21-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 22, 2021 Edition
FBI: January 6 Capitol Riot "Not an Insurrection"
The FBI's investigation of the January 6 riot at the Capitol concludes that "it was neither an insurrection nor a coup attempt. There is no evidence that anyone organized the incursion. The a
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2021-08-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-14-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 15, 2021 Edition
COVID Tyranny Ratchets Up
In New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio's decree blocking unvaccinated persons from entering public buildings and many commercial businesses discriminates against blacks. It turns out that 72% of blacks aged 18-44 have not
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2021-08-07
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
08-07-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 8, 2021 Edition
Inability to Include Skin Color in Promotions Hurts Diversity
Chief of naval personnel Vice Adm. John Nowell Jr. wants to resume the practice of including photos of officers up for promotion in the information packets reviewed by selection boards
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2021-07-31
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-31-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 1, 2021 Edition
Biden Explains Fluctuating Truths About COVID
President Biden lashed out at Fox News reporter Peter Doocy for pointing out that his Administration's new mask guidelines contradict his assertion from two months ago that "if you are fully vaccinat
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2021-07-10
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-10-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 11, 2021 Edition
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2021-07-03
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
07-03-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 4, 2021 Edition
Court Voids Act's Ban on State Tax Cuts
U.S. District Judge Douglas Cole issued a permanent injunction against a provision in the Biden's Administration's "American Rescue Plan" that bans states from cutting taxes. Cole called the ban "an un
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2021-06-26
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-26-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 27, 2021 Edition
Reps Clash on Economic Policy
A recent exchange of views between Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Col) and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) revealed starkly different visions for America's future.
Boebert initiated the debate by sharply criticizing t
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2021-06-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-19-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 20, 2021 Edition
Fauci Denies "Deliberately" Suppressing Lab Leak Theory
Dr. Anthony Fauci denied that he deliberately suppressed the idea that the coronavirus could have leaked from the Wuhan lab that was experimenting on ways to enhance a bat virus to make i
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2021-06-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-12-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 13, 2021 Edition
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2021-06-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
06-04-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 6, 2021 Edition
Emails Confirm Fauci's Dishonesty
A cache of the email correspondence of Dr. Anthony Fauci released this past week confirms virtually every criticism of the man uttered during the COVID pandemic. Almost every statement he made regarding the virus
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2021-05-28
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-28-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 30, 2021 Edition
Students Protest Vaccine Tyranny
Students enrolled at the University of Maryland and at Rutgers in New Jersey demonstrated against their schools' requirement that they must take the experimental COVID vaccination to attend classes in the Fall seme
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2021-05-14
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-14-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 16, 2021 Edition
Jarring Info from CDC
This week the Center for Disease Control (CDC) announced that individuals who have been fully vaccinated against COVID need not wear masks or observe social distancing rules. Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky observed that "si
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2021-05-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
05-01-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 2, 2021 Edition
Biden "May or May Not" Force Shots
President Biden announced that he "may or may not" force everyone to get vaccinated for COVID. Calling it "one of the tough decisions a great president has to make," Biden says he is "weighing the individual's na
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2021-04-23
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-23-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 25, 2021 Edition
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2021-04-16
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-16-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 18, 2021 Edition
Biden Admin Rejects "Protect Life Rule"
The Biden Administration Department of Health and Human Services announced it will reverse the Trump Administration's "Protect Life" rule for receiving federal family planning aid, calling it "not
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2021-04-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-09-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 11, 2021 Edition
Senator Calls Defense of Economic Freedom "Craven Political Stunt"
Self-proclaimed Vietnam War hero Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) called Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' demand that the CDC lift its ban on cruise ships "a craven political stunt.
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2021-04-02
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
04-02-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: April 4, 2021 Edition
Dems, CEOs Oppose Voter Integrity Laws
Democrats and the CEOs of several prominent corporations slammed legislatures for passing reforms of state election procedures. Georgia's 2020 election procedures created significant ambiguities and inconsist
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2021-03-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-27-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 28, 2021 Edition
Filibuster a "Tool of Racists"
This week, Presidential Press secretary Jen Psaki argued for the elimination of the Senate Filibuster, calling it a "tool of racists. Throughout American history the Senate filibuster has been repeatedly used t
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2021-03-20
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-20-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 21, 2021 Edition
Biden Fall Blamed on "Climate Change"
This week President Biden fell three times on the stairs leading up to Air Force One (AF1). White House deputy press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre blamed "climate change. Scientists have been warning that
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2021-03-12
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-12-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 14, 2021 Edition
Biden May Allow "Small July 4th Gatherings"
In his first prime time address to the nation President Joe Biden boosted American morale by promising "we may be able to allow small July 4th gatherings, but only if everyone behaves between now a
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2021-03-05
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
03-05-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: March 7, 2021 Edition
Swalwell Files Billion-Dollar Lawsuit
Alleging "severe psychological trauma and irreparable damage," Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) is suing former President Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, and Rep. Mo B
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2021-02-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-27-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 28, 2021 Edition
Biden Bombs Syria
Despite vowing during a presidential debate in February 2020 that military action would be a last resort for problems in the Middle East, President Joe Biden's first action in the region since taking office last month was to orde
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2021-02-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-19-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 21, 2021 Edition
Capitol Police Officers Suspended
Acting Capitol Police Chief Yogananda Pittman announced the investigation of 35 members of the Capitol Police force and the suspension--with pay--for six of them for "their inappropriate actions during the Jan
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2021-02-12
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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-12-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 14, 2021 Edition
Cuomo Expects to 'Skate' for Nursing Home Deaths
The recent admission by Melissa DeRosa, secretary to Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY), that the management of the COVID pandemic was bungled and then covered up, has brought demands that Cuomo be impeached
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2021-02-06
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
02-06-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: February 7, 2021 Edition
Biden Energy Decrees Benefit China
The Biden Administration's shift away from fossil fuels and toward so-called clean energy will boost China's economy at the expense of the US economy. China currently controls 60% of the solar industry's supply
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2021-01-29
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-29-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 31, 2021
Socialists Demand Monthly $2,000 Checks
Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn), Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) and 50 other House members are pushing President Biden to issue an Executive Order that would authorize "monthly $
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2021-01-22
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-22-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 24, 2021
Trump Undermines Congressional Authority
Ordered to vacate the corridors of the Capitol building after Rep. Will Keating (D-MA) complained that he saw a couple of the National Guard troops at a Dunkin Donuts "without wearing the masks mandated b
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2021-01-15
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-15-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 17, 2021
AOC Calls for Ministry of Truth
Concerned that "free speech can be abused by enemies of the Biden Administration to undermine its policies and programs," Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is calling for "the creation of a commission or so
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2021-01-09
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-09-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 10, 2021 Edition
Biden Says "Trump Incited Insurrection"
After the "Stop the Steal" rally held in Washington DC on Wednesday, thousands of those who attended walked over to the Capitol to protest the acceptance of electoral votes obtained by election fraud
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2021-01-01
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
01-01-2021
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 3, 2021 Edition
De Blasio Celebrates New Year "On Behalf of Those Who Can't"
After issuing a decree banning commoners from celebrating in Times Square on New Year's eve, Democrat Mayor Bill De Blasio and his wife took advantage of the vacated space to "danc
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2020-12-19
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-19-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 20, 2020 Edition
Cuomo Rescinds Restroom Ban
In his continuing quest to crush the state's restaurant industry, New York's Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo issued an order banning outdoor diners from using restaurant restrooms. Spokesperson LaTrinia Johnson explained t
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2020-12-11
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-11-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 13, 2020 Edition
Biden Thanks "Courageous Few" Who Saved Election
Media-anointed President-Elect Joe Biden acknowledged that "Trump beat the living hell out of us across the country" and thanked "the courageous few in the swing states who went the extra
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2020-12-04
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
12-04-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: December 6, 2020 Edition
Allegations of Vote Fraud Rebutted
In Nevada, despite it being illegal to offer anything of value in exchange for voting, officials from the Reno-Sparks Indian Colony were videoed offering gift cards, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, T-shirts, and
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2020-11-27
Opinions
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
11-27-2020
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: November 29, 2020 Edition
Whitmer Nominated for Award
This week, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) was one of those nominated by Time to be its "Person of the Year." The editors praised "her pioneering efforts to transform her state from an out-dated racist republic to
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