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yeah I'm kind of going through an internal battle over Rand myself. He's a man like me. Not an avatar like his father.

Rand isn't quite unequivocal enough for me. He's not centered in peace and love quite enough for me, but then my basic viewpoint is that most of our problems could be solved if we all just got naked. I know it sounds simplistic but I used to be something of a nudist and I noticed one thing: people's pretensions come off with the clothes. And this is the real Oyate talking to you. I've seen big strong men and I've seen these very same men being small and comfortable with no clothes on.

As a visual artist, which I used to be some 20 years ago, I dinstinctly remember liking fat people a lot because they were SO MUCH MORE FUN TO DRAW than skinny people becuse streight lines are easy to draw but a curve? Now we're having fun. A curve, by nature, is so....voluptuous. Just to draw the redundant curves of a fat person makes me feel well fed. I would draw fat people all the time if not for the fact that I married one so I don't have to draw anymore. I let my hand-eyes see for me and I am happy with my fat wife. I think she's cute. She looks good in jeans. She fills out a pair of jeans pretty good.

Our daughter is just aghast at this. We have this knockout, bombshell daughter.

Anyways the reason I am telling this storey is because I woke up thinking, for some reason, about homosexuals. It's not my usual waking dream but I know not to fight any damn thing my brain cooks up, but I think my dream-insight into homosexuals was a sense of profound loneliness. This is a very a-typical feeling for Oyate because we are never, ever, we can't be, fundamentally we are never, ever alone. We have our spirit people, we have our trees and grass and flowers, everybody and I mean EVERYBODY TALKS TO OYATE even if the humans don't. I mean IT'S PRETTY CROWDED UP HERE and so I put a premium on peace and quiet.

I think life must be even harder to figure out for a fag than it is on me. But know what I really think of fags?

I think they are brave. I think it takes guts to be different. I know brave and outspoken fags are annoying as hell but I have to admit, if I was a fag, I'd have a tough time admitting it. Hells man, it took all the guts I had left in me to just admit that I'm a mud-person in the presence of patriots and I gritted my teeth and figured you guys were gonna kill me. But you didn't. Far from it. I got emails of support and interest and even the old "Tunkashila" emails, ones from people asking me to pray for them. Which I do. I'm very humbled and touched by these emails. And I try to pray for each of you every day, but I am just a warrior. I'm not a Wicasha Wakan. Maybe I'm getting there. I dunno. I think every N/A person spiritualist has at least attained the level of a priest. Because we can hear confessions and intercede with you before your ancestors and G~d.

En nomen patri, et fili, en expirutu sancti, benedicti. είστε συγχωρεθεί.

Wow, is that neat or what? That's out white, pristine blood coming through. I never talk about how proud I am to be white. Part white. I am proud to be part red and brown but my white heritage allows me to WRITE and TALK DIFFERENT TONGUES and LEARN ABOUT PEOPLE.

Oh yeah. Rand Paul. I donated to his campaign, I shouted from the corners and the rooftops and I see that I supported him partly because he was just on the home team, kinda like Peter Schiff, I support them because I perceive them to be "one of us". And perhaps to take a bow to Concerned Patriot and the rest of these yip-yapping little chihauhauas that seem to keep following us every where and doing everything they can think of to make our lives miserable, and in spite of their illustrious parentage, my vote is that both Rand and Peter are at the top of my list for being closet-nazis.

And this is coming from a guy that voluteered for Aaron Russo who was not a closet-nazi, he was an OUTRIGHT FASCIST OF A FAT BASTARD to work for. I shit you not, the guy was abrasive, scathing, indicting, penetrating (in almost every sense of the word, I will say that a day with Aaron Russo was like getting intelectually raped without lube), and actually, maybe the point is that have you noticed that we're not the most fun people to hang out with? Shit, besides AZ and NH, it's hard for me to tell anyone has a pulse out there. If I was still riding the bone-box (ambulance, used to be an EMT) I'd put you all on 15 and BVM you APR all the way to the kitchen (hospital). Man some time I gotta tell you guys my EMT stories. I think the statute of limitations has passed.

fin.

notes to trolls:

OK, this is a typical Oyate story. It begins and ends noplace, the point was buried in there somewhere. This was my warm-up piece for this morning. I woke up, I stood up, I drank water, I rolled a smoke, I took a bong hit and my fingers just started flying and this is what came out. Usually I would just hit the delete key or waste this page but in the continuing interest of raising the very best of trolls, this is how you do it baby. You write because you have to, not because you have an audience.

The fact that we actually have an audience on FP is something I am mystified by but grateful for. Actual human beings read this crap we spew. They have lives and car keys and pets and kids and the whole works, they are way, way, way more real than you or I. And they have real live feelings and G~d loves them so. In fact, it's one of the only reasons I have hope because I can tell G~d loves the people and if He really does, maybe, just maybe he has some left over for me.

I don't sit at the table but I'm damn grateful for the scraps that fall to the floor. I am more than content to sit under the table of a Holy G~d.